TVSquad

(S17E14) Way to go, CBS. Give us an overly long three-hour season finale and reunion show of Survivor, and let football delay its start for a half-hour on the East Coast. Just once couldn't they have shortened 60 Minutes? Yeah, I'm cranky. I watched the show as it aired and now it's way late as I get it written up. CBS could console me by inviting me to the next finale, which should be held in NYC. Do you hear me, CBS? My crankiness aside, tonight's show was both surprising and refreshing, with a few odd quirks along the way. Read on!

We had a fairly short season recap, and things focused more on the five castaways heading into tonight's show. That was nice, but I don't buy Susie being any sort of keen strategist because she chose to flip on her initial alliance. She knew she wasn't really a part of that alliance anyway! Sugar's depiction was pretty spot on -- she tried to play herself as the naive idiot who didn't know the game when she made some vital moves in the game. Bob, as the last surviving Kota member and his winning streak are definitely worth noting. It was pointed out that Matty hasn't won anything since the merge. That's probably why I questioned his "physical threat" factor last week.

Kenny is a gamer. A much too cocky gamer at that. He still thinks Bob should have given him immunity although he was planning to blindside Bob! I actually respected Kenny's game until he got on that kick. Sure, he was a rat. But he was trying to think ahead, and he made lots of good moves. However, he kept up with the anti-Bob because Bob didn't keep his word about immunity even when called out by Bob about the blindside. Um, no. It would not have been strategically wise for Bob to keep his word and give Kenny the immunity knowing he was going to be blindsided. Duh, Kenny!

Sugar and Bob's alliance is growing even closer and that's something I'm enjoying. I think Bob's a great guy, nerdy-cool in his own way, and he's played a good game. Sugar is my second favorite player. So I'm pretty pleased with how things went down tonight.

The first Immunity Challenge and Tribal Council
Obstacle courses and puzzles, who woulda thunk it? Always a staple in the show, but it can get a bit tired at times. Luckily, there were enough shifts in the leads that it made it fairly exciting. My man Bob won ... again. That's the fifth win in a row for him. Had he gone for a sixth win later on, things might have turned out a bit different, but the main result would have remained the same. The best part of the challenge is when Jeff Probst told Bob he had a "Village People thing going on" with his warrior paint.

Cocky Kenny thought he had it made in the shade as the plan was to vote Susie out. After all, Matty was saying "me, you, and Kenny" to Sugar. Matty told Kenny he's never written his name down and didn't plan to do so. But dear ol' Sugar switched it all up in the end. She decided Kenny was the bigger threat and got everyone to vote him out. Kenny voted for Susie to go. Blindsided gamer, goodbye!

Memory Walks make me gag
I was thinking the final three would do the memory walk, but it was the four -- Matty, Bob, Susie, and Sugar. Y'see, here's one thing I like about Sugar. She will express her thoughts, but she isn't as outright mean as Corinne. Here they were making all kinds of sappy, perhaps insincere, comments about their fellow castaways when Sugar gave the Randy totem a raspberry. Later, that same attitude probably killed her with the jury, but at least she didn't mock other peoples' dead relatives. Corinne was even nasty in her segment during the walk -- anyone can be nice, she doesn't want to be. I think it's more like she CAN'T be nice. It's just not in her.

Second Immunity
And then comes a shocker. Yes, Susie won the first individual immunity. But I really thought that was some sort of fluke. In the building the house of cards from 200 wooden tiles, I have to give her props. She knew when to hold when the others excelled at the fold. Bob, my main man in the game, wasn't even in the running! Sugar's house was much too skinny to survive and she didn't learn to make it any other way in rebuilds. Matty had a solid strategy, but not good enough to catch up with Susie. Thunk. And the walls came crashing down ... Susie ends up in the final three!

But doesn't she ever shut up? I don't blame Bob for snapping at her! Enough is enough. Maybe some of it was the edit, but I would have kicked sand on her or something if I had been there. Here Bob was saying his goodbyes, fully expecting to be voted out ... and she wouldn't shut up! I think that's what put a bug in Sugar's ear to try to make it a tie vote. She knew Bob deserved to be there more than Susie, but no one could get rid of Susie. So a tie where it boils down to Matt and Bob vying to stay would be the most fair solution.

And it came to be ... Tribal Council
Although Sugar was put in the position of writing down either her "father figure" or her "brother" to be voted out, she did something which made me proud of her even though I don't really know her. She convinced Bob that if she and he voted for Matty, there would be a tie. Ties are usually decided with a fire-making challenge. So Bob practiced. And it all went down as planned. Tie, fire-making challenge tiebreaker, Bob won, Matty out. All is good in the world except that darned Susie is in the final three!

Bitter much, jury?
In the opening statements, did you notice that Susie just kept repeating her mantra about trying? She's confident, you know. Bob played it politically, giving the jury kudos for being such good players. And then Sugar started off her doom mentioning no one ever wrote down her name, that she was a free agent most of the time, and that she switched her alliance to Bob at the end. That last bit made Matty physically flinch. Uh-oh, burning those bridges, Sugar!

Charlie, as he had been all during the show, was friendly and basically non-threatening to the final three. He made up tales about cuddling with Bob and Bob played along. Crystal was more outspoken, telling Susie she was a coattail rider and accusing Bob of being remote-controlled by Sugar. Sugar told her the reason she voted her out is because she was a bully. Bridges, Sugar, bridges! Sheesh! You've gone this far to throw it all away!

When Kenny got up, he wasn't pleased with any of the three. He whined, er ... said, Sugar had scarred him, had hurt him. Bob betrayed him by not giving him the immunity. Bob once again mentioned that he (Bob) would have been voted out had he done so. But Kenny didn't want to hear that!

Evil meany gal Corinne was her usual charming self. She told Susie she'd vote for her for the million if she promised to have her vocal chords removed. She told Bob he was one-dimensional and wanted him to show her he could be mean by being nasty about Sugar. He brought up how he lit into her about the Randy fake idol blindside behavior, but that wasn't good enough. Then came the mean kicker -- "Sugar, you're an unemployed uneducated leech on society. I'd buy you a handful of anti-depressants so you could sound more sincere when crying about your dead father." Yikes! Although it may have burned bridges a bit more, I cheered when Sugar gave Corinne the blurred-out finger!

Even Marcus was a bit more bitter than I thought he would be. Sure, the jury has to make the decision. But did he need to be so harshly judgmental of the three? Randy's questioning didn't surprise me at all. He didn't like any of them, but at least he didn't make fun of dead relatives. Matty came across as less bitter, asking why others deserved or didn't deserve the million.

The votes and the winner of Survivor Gabon
In the end, we only really know two votes for sure. Matty voted for Susie and Corinne voted for Bob. When the votes were tallied, no one voted for Sugar. It was four votes for Bob, three for Susie. Bob won the season! (Yay!) Later Jeff mentioned that Randy's vote was the pivotal vote. So, my assumption is that Randy, Corrine, Marcus, and Charlie voted for Bob while Crystal, Kenny, and Matty voted for Susie. I could be wrong, but that would be the most logical lines for the voting. Even though the jury didn't like Sugar before the voting, she burned any and all bridges with her attitude during the jury questioning. Silly Sugar.

The reunion show
It was Los Angeles this time, should be NYC next time. (Invite me, CBS.) As we always see, these folks clean up nicely. It's been a long time since the beginning of the season and we forget how they look not coated with grime and crud. I think the most surprising was Susie with her fashionable eyeglasses, smart hairdo, and great make-up. She looked much better than in the pre-season publicity shots.

I think the biggest personal surprise for me is that I got a kick out of Randy's interview segment. He actually had me laughing a bit. Maybe there is something to him. Of course, I think it was his expletive that got deleted right as the live show started. But the man really does have a sense of humor. Oh my. But Corinne's the same female dog she was through the show. That was no surprise at all.

Bob seemed near tears throughout the show and was stunned when he also won the $100,000 grand Sprint viewers prize. I was sort of stunned myself that the winner of the season was still eligible. Matty came in third, Sugar was runner-up. I would have liked to see Sugar win that money, but I'm happy for Bob. It will give him and his wife a nice nest-egg for retirement. Sugar has lots of time ahead of her to make her way in life. In another ten years or so, Bob might be looking to retire. So all is good.

If Corinne had won that popularity prize, I'd have fallen over on the floor and had a real temper tantrum. Really. All in all, I found this season to be another entertaining one, and I'm happy with the outcome. How about you?

Next season
It's off to the Brazilian Highlands for Survivor Tocantins, premiering in February. I know I'll be watching!