TVSquad

12:23: Wolf Blitzer just reminded us that this is, in fact, an historic occasion. He also assures us that the coverage will continue. I, however, will not. All in all, CNN's coverage was adequate, but pretty boring. The reason I choose CNN over the other news channels is because of the personalities. Campbell Brown, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper usually find ways to engage and amuse me, but not tonight. Everyone was pretty straightforward and dry. What do they think this is, network news? If I wanted straightforward and dry, I'd watch Charlie Gibson.

But hey. At least this election is over. See you in four years!

12:19: Obama finished speaking a good five minutes ago, yet nobody has broken in with commentary. That's either an admirable show of restraint or a sign that the CNN anchors are all busy getting drunk.



12:16: A blond woman just came out on stage, and I couldn't figure out who she was. I always forget that Biden isn't just some crochety old man who rides the train back and forth and that he has a wife and stuff.

12:02: Sasha and Malia are getting a puppy!

12:01: Obama just mentioned his wife, and the cameraman cut to Jesse Jackson.

11:57: "Hello Chicago!" President-elect Obama is a rock star.

11:51: CNN is having a big problem with not putting people in quiet rooms before they interview them. I'm sure Rev. Bernice King is saying very nice things, but I have no idea what they are.

11:46: The anchors are just blathering about nothing at this point. They're all just waiting for Obama so they can go home. Apparently he is on site in Chicago though, so this could be over quite soon.

11:32: Someone is speaking onstage in Chicago. The CNN anchors have not acknowledged this fact. If it were Stevie Wonder, Wolf Blitzer would be telling everyone to shut the hell up. That man loves his musical acts.

11:21: In addressing his supporters, McCain says that the failure was his, not theirs. Aw, McCain's busting out the "Sad Grandpa" he promised us on SNL.

11:15: John McCain is conceding already. His supporters started booing as soon as he mentioned Obama's name.

11:14: Jesse Jackson is also crying. Regardless of who you wanted to win; this is quite the historic night for our country.

11:02: All of the CNN correspondents are getting teary; even William Bennett. This is quite lovely.

10:57: CNN just called the election for Obama.

10:46: Anderson Cooper just said, "Will.I.Am, thank you for being here via hologram." Do you think the part of Cooper that is a serious journalist just died a little?

10:43: Christ on a cracker. Now they have a Will.I.Am hologram. What the hell, CNN? They are using their Star Wars hologram technology to talk about his video and text messages from his mom.

10:34: Oh dear God. Campbell Brown says that they have more toys to show us. Oh, it's definitely a hologram of the Capitol. Thank you CNN. Without this, there is no way I would have been able to understand the balance of power in the senate. YOU PEOPLE HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY.

1030: William Bennett is a Republican CNN contributor, and he hates everyone and everything right now.