Years ago it was Seinfeld ruling the quotable roost in television sitcom world. You know you'll never forget "close talkers" or the meaning of "spongeworthy." But for the first time since then, I've found a show I truly think is quoteworthy. Its closet competitor lines-wise is How I Met Your Mother which follows it on Monday night. But The Big Bang Theory rules over that show these days for me. Some of Sheldon's (played stupendously by Jim Parsons) lines are a bit convoluted to remember and I really am not
Here are some of my favorite lines from the show:
Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: (confused) Participate in the what?
----
Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter-cup of 2% milk, sat on this end of this couch, turned on BBC America, and watched Doctor Who.
Leonard: Penny's still sleeping.
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment ... [as he repeats his line above]
Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.
(I actually know how Sheldon feels. I have my own routines although mine are based on Sunday morning with the CBS Sunday Morning.)
---
Leonard: Are you suggesting that if we let Penny stay [the night], we might succumb to cannibalism?
Sheldon: No one ever thinks it'll happen until it does.
Leonard: Penny, if you promise not to chew the flesh off our bones while we sleep, you can stay.
Penny: What?
---
Leonard: I just know that moving all day can be stressful and I just thought that good neighbors and some Indian food might be just what you need. Plus, curry is a natural laxative and I don't need to tell you that a clean colon is one less thing to worry about.
---
Sheldon: This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you ...
Penny: 120?!
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
---
As Leonard fantasizes about his future with Penny ...
Leonard: Our kids will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Leonard: I'm a male, and she's a female.
Sheldon: But not of the same species.
---
As the guys need a fourth to play their Halo game, Penny joins in ...
Sheldon: This is a complex battle simulation with a steep learning curve. There are a myriad of weapons, vehicles, and strategies to master, and not to mention an extremely intricate back story.
[Explosion on the video screen.]
Penny: Oh, cool! Whose head did I just blow off?
Sheldon: Mine.
This is one of the few shows in a long time which make me laugh out loud. That can be nothing but a good thing!
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
10-03-2008 @ 5:14PM
Pasha said...
Is Louis Nye Bill Nye's estranged cousin?
Big Bang (and HIMYM) rock!
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10-03-2008 @ 7:48PM
Jackie Schnoop said...
I have no idea where my mind was. I thought Bill, so I typed Louis. Rented fingers!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
10-03-2008 @ 5:26PM
JJ Forde said...
Goods quotes yes, but they are so long it can cause them to loose applicability in every day situations. How I met your mother has many more quick one bits, Arrested development is another great quote machine but I think the real winner is 30 Rock
Its more disappointing than Colonial Williamsburg
My genius has come alive like toys when your back is turned
Nothing is impossible... except for dinosaurs
By the hammer of thor
all classics and great to throw into a random conversation.
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10-03-2008 @ 8:50PM
Steve said...
I definitely agree they are good quotes but most are hard to apply in every day situation and 30 Rock does have some really great one liners.
"Like every week like its shark week"
"Milf Island.. 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules."
"Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic - colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh we gotta update these forms."
"You wanna be a bunch of winners you gotta dress for success. That's why I sponsor a charity that gives away tuxedos to homeless people."
"I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do."
"We have a chance to make this country great again. We need hope. We need change. We need experience. We need...PENS"
"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor!!"
10-03-2008 @ 5:36PM
Nacho said...
While I love BBT, (it's my favorite current favorite sitcom for sure) I don't think it's anywhere near the level that Seinfeld was on many different fronts. The only current show that comes close to that, I think is The Simpsons.
Think about it. You can sum up an entire 22 minute plotline of Seinfeld by saying "spongeworthy" or "The Bet" The jokes on BBT are far more complex (and intelligent) to ever be summed up in one or two words. Plus, as good as it is, I don't think it will ever reach the "common man" half as well as Seinfeld did. I hope I'm wrong though, cause I would like to see BBT get another 7 seasons like Seinfeld did. But I wouldn't count on it.
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10-06-2008 @ 12:08PM
Dan said...
I agree with you on everything here except for "The Simpsons" being the only show worthy these days. "The Simpsons" stopped being funny and started being really stupid in about 1999, and I haven't laughed more than once or twice in any new episode in the past 7 years. I have seen every episode from seasons 1-8 at least 10 times each because THEY are some of the best shows ever, but the show changed once Matt Groening switched his attention to (the amazing) Futurama.
Shows that are awesome and have great lines:
Weeds
30 Rock
Everybody Hates Chris (no idea why it is so unpopular, it's like a funnier and more relevant Wonder Years with Chris Rock as the narrator instead of Daniel Stern)
HIMYM
BBT is funny, but sometimes the characters seem too fake and their lines forced. But I laugh at the show more than most.
Scrubs
Chuck.
10-03-2008 @ 5:37PM
Chris W said...
Do you mean Bill Nye or is it a joke about not remembering things well?
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10-03-2008 @ 5:38PM
John Howard said...
I don't watch the show, so I don't know if it's actually good or not, but based on the ones you provided, it certainly isn't at all quotable in the same vein as Seinfeld, as you seem to think. As mentioned above, they're too long to be used randomly, not to mention remembered.
Off the top of my head, I'd say South Park is the show that leads in this area currently, there's almost no conversation that you can't successfully work ectoplasm into. Either that or The Office.
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10-03-2008 @ 7:32PM
Katie said...
I agree with the South Park comparison, as it too, just like Seinfeld has eps that can be summed up by using one term: Manbearpig, Goobacks, Towelie, etc
10-03-2008 @ 6:56PM
Will said...
uh...yeah no. I tried to watch this once and couldn't get through it. if these are the best bits from the show then I think it is pretty insulting to Seinfeld to compare the two.
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10-03-2008 @ 7:19PM
Jim said...
Altho Arrested Development takes Seinfeld's crown for me (bizarrely applicable all over the shop), BBT is very good, very quotable.
Playing Halo:
You're on fire Penny!
So's Sheldon!
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10-03-2008 @ 9:07PM
Manuel Reis said...
Leonard is really one of the best comedy characters in the past, let's say, 20 years or so. And TBBT is really funny! I'm whatching it all again since 1st season, to catch up (I missed some of the episodes).
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10-03-2008 @ 9:57PM
Donna said...
Well, it isn't the length of the quotes that's so funny, as it is how it's done. For those of you who have never watched BBT, wait until you hear actor Jim Parsons rattle those phrases off. That's where the difference comes in!
Parsons alone is worth more than a dozen shows of How I Met Your Mother (which is beginning to bore me to death because they keep dragging out the whole mother thing).
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10-03-2008 @ 11:57PM
jproductions17 said...
Personally I'm not a fan of TBBT, but even from a non-biased view looking at those quotes the show is not at all like Seinfeld. Seinfeld is quote worthy in its one liners, all those quotes are long and most need multiple people to say them. Really how applicable is that Halo comment? I'd say Arrested Development and 30 Rock are the two most quotable shows with actual lines, but How I Met Your Mother is by far the most Seinfeld like in making up new words and quick phrases.
How I Met Your Mother has "Crazy Hot Scale", "Lemon Law", "Suit Up!", "Have you met [insert name here]", "Legen-wait for it-dary!", "ted" used a verb such as to "ted out" or "ted up", the many variations of high fiveing (phone five, multiple fives, hypothetical five, etc), "sandwiches", "Underpants Radius", and much much more. And those are just the ones I can think of right off the top of my head.
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10-04-2008 @ 2:10AM
Dylan said...
You throw out the word 'Seinfeld' and the over-righteous fans go nuts.
BBT has some GREAT lines, and is easily one of the most clever shows on television right now.
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10-04-2008 @ 3:30AM
Will said...
I, too, love The Big Bang Theory. I'm hoping it get many seasons. I am really SO over How I met Your Mother. I know lots of people still really love it & that's all right, it's just,for me, passed it's prime. Barney has been the same obnoxious character for the past 3(? or 4) years, obsessed with having as many women as he can get & now we're suppose to believe he's fallen for Robin ?!? Cm'on!
But back to Big Bang, Leonard's great & I'm hoping they drag it out a little more with Penny, but Sheldon is the one that makes the show & he gets the best lines. Jim Parsons was on Craig Fergeson's show the other night & he was all nervous, it's was his first stint as a talk show guest. He pretty much IS Sheldon, except that he confessed that he really knows nothing about science & has to work at memorizing as the technical stuff for the role. I found that interesting.
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10-04-2008 @ 8:26AM
Canadianfoodiegirl (formerly ABT) said...
He pretty much IS Sheldon, except that he confessed that he really knows nothing about science & has to work at memorizing as the technical stuff for the role. I found that interesting.
You mean he has to act? :P
My opinion on the topic: Funny yes, but often too convoluted to be quotable or needing context in other dialogue to be funny (as the third one below). I laughed reading some of the quotes in the post above, in part because I could remember those scenes.
More examples of funny but not quotable (although the douchebag one might be):
Sheldon: At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
Howard: Oh, Raj was just comparing Sheldon to a hygiene product used by women who are not feeling fresh on a summer's eve.
Penny: And the bag it came in.
Leonard: Why did you just flash freeze a banana?
Leslie (Sarah Gilbert): I'm having it with my cereal and I couldn't find a knife.
Maybe some quotes can be paraphrased or adapted to work in everyday life, but does that count?
10-04-2008 @ 6:51AM
Jimmy said...
I'm a big fan of Big Bang Theory, but I have to agree with John Howard above: The show is very well-written, but that doesn't necessarily make it quotable.
I think a show like Three And A Half Men lends itself more to quotes, like this one from a couple weeks ago: "I'd rather spend 10 seconds putting on a condom than 10 years pretending to like soccer."
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10-04-2008 @ 8:27AM
Canadianfoodiegirl (formerly ABT) said...
[Oops, I forget that this website doesn't accept HTML in comments. The first paragraph was supposed to be in italics - or quotation marks.]
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10-04-2008 @ 12:18PM
willy the impeached said...
CBS Sunday Morning? So you're the one watching that ! There had to be someone.
Great quotes but the thing about Seinfeld's was that they're short and simple (like the political BS on CBS Sunday Morning). You don't have to spit out a paragraph, its just a short simple word or two.
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