TVSquad

(S04E02) "This burger is so good I want to sew my ass shut."

I don't tend to open my reviews with a quote, but this one from Barney was too good to ignore. Might as well give it the Best Barneyism of the week, but it's only one of a ton of memorable lines from all the characters in this episode. Was it funny? Damn straight. Did it make me hungry? Absolutely. Did it make me afraid of Regis Philbin? Maybe a little.

Even though Marshall's pursuit of the fantastic burger he tasted on his first day in New York eight years ago was more a way for him to hang on to his youth for a few moments longer -- he took a job with Barney's company's new acquisition, Goliath National Bank -- that's about the only connection to the show's continuing storyline that we got.

This was more of a standalone episode, and Bays and Thomas and company really packed it in with funny lines and situations. Who could resist a starving Robin coming off her two-day cleanse (it was supposed to be seven days but she always finishes early) being served last and so tortured by the burger hunt that she resorted to licking ATM envelopes ("I will eat your hand!")? How Marshall is able to wax eloquently and off-the-cuff about the burger ("It's God speaking to us through this food!") but had to find his wedding vows on the Internet? Lily saying that she just had her "first burgasm?" Ted's explanation of the inverse relationship between a man's self-esteem and his "underpants radius?" There was one funny line after another, with just enough story to make us want Marshall to actually find that burger.

But I have to reserve some praise for Regis. "Daddy needs his meat!" This pumped-up, steroid-rage version of Reege was funnier than I thought it would be; it was perfect for the overacting he usually does when he guests somewhere. I thought it was great that, no matter where Marshall went to try to recreate the burger -- even Veggie Heaven -- there was a picture of Regis. He must have made the same desperate journey Marshall did. No wonder why he was so pissed.

Other fun stuff:
- A tour-de-force episode for NPH: not only do we get to hear his impeccable Regis impression, but he also got to sing the GNB jingle.
- Old Ted romanticiszed the gentrification of the New York he knew, which is typical of Ted, no matter what age he is. Ironically, by the time he got to the city in 2000, the places he was going were largely gentrified already. I mean, the peep shows had been gone from Times Square for years by then. Damn you, Giuliani!
- More burger talk: Robin: "I just want you inside of me!" Barney loved his so much he'd take it home and treat it nice. Lily: "It's like it's Christmas in my mouth! A Meat Christmas!"
- I think I want to see Million Dollar Heads or Tails, don't you?
- Cute closing, with the GNB logo taking the place of the Bays/Thomas vanity card at the end of the show.

Anyway, I followed the show up by watching Diners, Drive-ins & Dives. Now I'm so hungry I could cry. I guess I like torturing myself.