TVSquad

(S17E01) "Jacquie is awesome!" - Marcus to Charlie

Now, isn't that nice of Marcus, an eye-candy doctor, to say about me? Sigh. Alas, it wasn't about me. I'm not on Survivor Gabon and I don't even spell my name that way. It's a first time namesake on the show for me and she isn't too shabby. However, I can't say that about the entire cast. Tonight was the big two-hour premiere night in Earth's Last Eden. Will this season live up to the quality and excitement of last season? Will Jeff Probst show off his Emmy-winning style? Read on past the jump for my full review of the show.

Okay, I really enjoyed last season, so I'm going to put a lot of pressure on this one. The last time they went to Africa ranks in the bottom as far as my personal enjoyment. There were so many animals about them that they really were stuck in camp, plus that season had them outright starving. Not cool, even though it's always a big part of the show. They seem a bit more free to roam in their Gabon location. Some elephants came by while they were sleeping, but it looks like most of the animals were stock-filming and possibly not that close to camp.

I so wanted to like Gillian, the 61-year-old woman, but I just can't do it. In the beginning Jeff chose the two oldest people to start the tribe picks. While her first pick wasn't too bad (Crystal, the Olympics track and field medal winner), it all went downhill from there and her tribe just at a glance looked weak. Bob, bowtie included, was the eldest person next to her (57), started off with a good pick (Ace) and they kept up the steam pretty well. They only had the first names and occupations of the others to make the decision. Crystal neglected to mention the Olympics. Marcus the doctor didn't say he was a doctor and Charlie is a lawyer, not whatever it was he said he does.

Just for the record, the tribes are:
Kota (yellow) -- Bob, Ace, Sugar, Marcus, Charlie, Paloma, Kelly, Jacquie, Corinne
Fang (red) -- Gillian, Crystal, Susie, Matty, Randy, Dan, Danny (GC), Ken, Michelle

It always takes me a few weeks to get a handle on the castaways. Those who make an impression on me this early are usually the really good ones or the really bad ones. Others just fly under the radar or seem all but nonexistent. Tonight was no exception to the rule.

The Good
Bob is good, very good. He reminds me of a larger Yau-Man. He knows how to camp, is resourceful, and by golly ... folks like him. Marcus, Charlie, Jacquie, and Corinne already have an alliance and game strategy going by the end of the second hour. Not only that, but they want to bring Bob into their Onion Alliance. Yes, a silly name but you can blame Marcus. He's going for the symbolic rings within an onion -- those closest are his inner ring (Charlie), next closest (Jacquie), then Corinne. Bob is only in their plans for the voting numbers, but he doesn't know it. As a matter of fact, he didn't know he was in it at all at the end of the show. But they want him in. Not bad strategically and they all seem to be pretty strong players. I personally would have used tree rings rather than onion rings, but that's just me.

The Bad
Perhaps not the worst player, but he's definitely on my "Get Him Gone Quick" list -- Randy. Had anyone else whacked their head into a branch necessitating stitches on the first night, I would have sympathy. But I think it should be taken as a sign from the gods. What an obnoxious guy! He actually has some good points about Gillian being such a weak element in the tribe, but his way of going about things is downright nasty. He's rude and is already coming across as a bully to me. Be gone, Randy! I don't care that he broke his eyeglasses to make a fishing hook. Let them keep the fishing hook and get the man out of Eden.

The Ugly
That whole Fang (pronounced "fong" and I don't know why they didn't spell it that way) tribe ranks in my "ugly" category. No, not in looks, per se. It was poor tribe picking in the beginning, but they have more issues, too. They don't work together. They don't really know what they're doing. In the first Tribal Council, Jeff pushed them into picking a leader and the leader picked (GC) quit! It's not like they have too many leaders. It's more like they have no leaders at all!

So far they've lost every challenge in the game! They could actually overcome the physically weak if they could just work together. However, we saw in the one immunity challenge, most of the strongest ones just laid back and rested. If they're doing that now, what's going to happen down the road? In the first challenge, the Olympic track and field winner had to be practically carried up the hill. What's up with that?

A new twist?
Um, okay ... when a person is sent to Exile Island, they have to make a choice to get a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol or they can have an apple. I'm scratching my head here. An apple? Sure, they're going to be hungry, but I would at least offer them a full meal as a bribe. I think that even the laziest ones would have to be near starving to go for the apple instead of the clue, don't you? I can see where it might impact who gets sent to the island once they know about the choice, but that's about it.

The challenges
I found the combining of Reward and Immunity challenges a bit unsettling for some reason, but I'm not sure why. I'm not sure if they're going to use that format for the rest of the season or up to the merge or not. But it gives a weak tribe like Fang the chance to lose two-two-two challenges in one each time they lose. Hey, they can look at it that way -- instead of losing four challenges, they only lost two!

As for the challenges themselves, same old same old. You got your tie them together, obstacle courses, puzzles, keys, and huge rolled boulders. All of them were pretty physical, but not really nasty personal physical. If I were on the Kota tribe, I'd have Bob do all the puzzles. If I were on the Fang tribe, I think I'd just try to hitch a ride on a bongo like those birds that ride on 'em.

The tribe has spoken
Both of the castaways booted tonight brought it on themselves. First off, they were on the Fang tribe. That should be 'nuff said, but there's more. The first boot was Michelle. We never saw the entire vote once Jeff tallied five for her to go. Her mistake was her attitude. They would have voted out Gillian for being the weakest and bringing the tribe down. Michelle fussed and whined about being cold and showed she didn't want to be there even though she did a tremendous job on the first challenge. Now, they didn't know that Michelle was also fussing and whining to Ken that she was on the wrong tribe with all the "stupid people" and "retards." How to win friends and influence people, eh? Influence her way to be the first ouster of the season.

Of course, when they lost again, Gillian was the target. In what was probably more red herring editing than actuality, it looked like Dan was in danger. Yep, they considered sending him packing, one of the strongest members of their tribe. Why? Because they didn't trust him when he said he didn't have the hidden idol. Although I think GC and Crystal still had their doubts, everyone but Gillian voted Gillian out. When they lose next week, I want them to get Randy gone.

All in all, I think we had a decent start to the season. How about you?