TVSquad

(S07E03) We're really getting back into the swing of things now. After the whirlwind of 25 performances in two nights, it was time for a proper results show. As usual, that's both good and bad. Results shows always hold the prospect of musical guests, and professional numbers.

Unfortunately, they also have a tendency to bring iffy comedy bits, and dull taped packages. It's a bit of a crapshoot, but usually worth tuning in. Because, as we all know, no matter how sure you are that a certain couple is leaving, you just never really know. Am I hinting at a surprise elimination? Or just trying to trick you into clicking your way past the jump? Only one way to find out.

In a bit of a change, they kicked off the show with a pro number. It was very cool, showcasing what is the best that the results shows have to offer. They were all out to play, and it was a great example of just how amazing the ballroom can be. It was the highlight of the show. Tom followed that up with a recap of the performances. In the accompanying video clips, Ted promised to work the hardest, Misty and Maks were happy with where they ended up, and Maurice was very excited with his 21. Kim said that she is opening up more and more with each dance.

Then it was time for what would be the first of many short results breaks. There was no surprise as Brooke & Derek were the first couple moving on. Somewhat more surprising was couple number two, Kim & Mark. Those results were followed by Jeffrey and Edyta performing their quickstep. It's always good to see Edyta, but more than anything, this number reinforced the decision to eliminate Jeffrey first. Dancing just isn't his bag.

Samantha was backstage with Brooke & Derek. She asked Brooke about getting two 9s in the first week. Brooke said it put the pressure on because they have to keep that level up. Moving to Kim & Mark, Samantha asked if having to wait all night to perform added pressure. Kim agreed that it did, and again promised to try and come out of her shell a little more.

Next, it was back to the results. In what was a shocking announcement, Cloris and Corky were the next couple moving on to week two. Those crazy voters. They'll get you every time. As the stunned audience looked at each other and pondered, "WTF?" it was time for our first musical guest of the season.

That would be Jesse McCartney. I can safely say that I've never heard him before. It's just not my kind of music. It was ok. I'd call it hip hop that is soccer mom approved. I enjoyed the dancing much more, as our old pal Ashly Costa was back. It was a fun number, but unfortunately, pretty much the last of the dancing we would be getting for the results show.

It was time for a comedy clip, which found Adam Carolla out on the street talking to fans. There was no shortage of opinions to be had. The show got a "best season ever." Mark Ballas found a fan, as did Lance and Susan. Rocco even garnered an "Oh my God." Of course, there were Cody fans to be had, but Adam didn't like that he has his hands on Julianne. Bruno got a vote as best judge. Adam made a baby cry. The highlight though, was when Adam chastised a younger guy, "You don't know who Cloris Leachman is?" The kid came right back with, "I don't know who you are."

Another quick trip to the results shop told us that Maurice and Cheryl will be back for week two. That was followed up by another musical number. It was the Jonas brothers, doing "Lovebug." I think I'm too old and too square for the Jonas Brothers, but the kids seem to like them, so who am I to complain. As far as musical performances go though, it really wasn't that good. The screams from the girls in the audience were so loud that half of the song was washed out by the noise. Great for those in attendance I'm sure, not so much for the TV audience. There was an attempt at a pro number, but it was given so little screen time it might as well not have been added.

Then we were off for another of the famed taped packages. These are always very hit and miss, and this one was a bit of a clunker. It was a rundown of all the things we already know. This season has the oldest and youngest competitors, four past champions, Oscar, Grammy, Superbowl, and Olympic winners. By now I was getting the idea that a whole lot of work went into having two huge performance nights and the first results show got the short end of the stick.

Back in the ballroom, two more safe couples were revealed. Misty & Maks are heading to week two. They'll be joined by Warren & Kym. Sam was backstage with four couples that made it to next week. Maurice was looking forward to doing a sexy rumba. Misty was excited to learn a new dance. Warren asked when he would get his sequins. Cloris wanted to see all the pretty hairdos and dresses, and after Corky objected to Cloris cutting him off, she joked that she's looking forward to a new partner.

Getting back to the results, Susan and Tony were safe. And this is where I started wondering just who it was that was going home. Rocco and Karina were safe next and I was really getting lost. Finally, it was time to get down to it. Tom and Samantha ran through the judges comments from performance night and then revealed that Lance & Lacy were safe. Cody & Julianne followed, leaving Toni & Alec and Ted & Inna for that last spot.

Before the big reveal, Len said that this shows nobody is safe. He was surprised that Toni, who was second in points, and Ted, who has so much potential, were both in danger. In the end, Ted & Inna were sent home. What the heck? I really didn't see that one coming, and I'm a little disappointed by it. Ted said it has been a lot of fun and he was really looking forward to dancing some more. Inna said she was very proud of Ted.

And there we are. Our first official results show is in the books, and they've set the bar pretty low. I expect there to be much better results shows as we move along in the season. I'm shocked that Cloris made it through to week two, and sorry to see Ted go, but that's how this thing works. I'll see you back here next week to do it all again.