TVSquad

(S34E01) Well, well, Saturday Night Live is back for another season and we couldn't be more excited. Actually, we probably could be more excited, but we're still tuning in and that's what matters.

Personally, I believe they took a risk in inviting an athlete to open the season with a bang, as I often find their performances super-awkward and damn near unwatchable, but there are folks that go totally nuts when sports people host. Plus, Michael Phelps was definitely the sweetheart of the summer and it was a smart move to grab him before he retired to his giant fish tank in Baltimore. His performance was still pretty awkward, but at least they didn't give him a lot of crazy characters to struggle through.

Cold Open (Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton): No surprise here in seeing Tina Fey stop by to portray Sarah Palin because A) there have been non-stop comparisons and B) we brought it up twice and I know you guys read every single little thing we write. Although I've always seen a resemblance, she looked scarily dead-on during the sketch and the mugging for the camera was absolutely hilarious. Also, her impression wasn't perfect but it was more accurate than Amy Poehler's Hillary Clinton, which I still find incredibly off. Again, I will point you to the lady in this YouTube video, showing everyone how it's done. Also, the Palin coverage is definitely going to go on for a while, so who are they going to bring in to do those impressions? Surely Tina Fey is too busy with 30 Rock stuff to come in every week. I have nothing but confidence in Kristen Wiig pulling off something like this, even if her face shape won't make it quite as spot-on. I guess we'll just have to see. In other news, I kept trying to figure out why Amy Poehler looked so different and then I remembered that she's pregnant with Will Arnett's inevitably super-funny baby. I hope the kid looks like Amy but sounds like Will...



Monologue: Michael Phelps, how are you built like a mythical creature? This was a little awkward, but a cute idea. I find myself saying stuff like that a lot when athletes host. Also, they mentioned meth again in the monologue and then would mention it once more during "Weekend Update". Meth on the brain this week? Plus, random endorsement celebrities in this episode! William Shatner, what do you have to do with Michael Phelps? And by "Michael Phelps", I mean "anything"?

"Quiz Bowl": Goodness, were the techies a little rusty this evening? It felt like cameras were shaking and kept cutting to the wrong people for reaction. Plus, they seemed to be placed at really awkward angles for a few sketches, including this one. Maybe I'm the only one that notices these technically super-awkward things. This sketch was timed a little awkwardly, but had some good lines. Kristen Wiig took no time in reminding me how awesome she is.

"Jar Glove": I swear I was just talking about horrible black and white infomercial dramatizations the other day. This was hilarious, just because those stupid ads are inherently funny.



"Locker Room": We've seen this sketch before, really, but there's no need to complain because any excuse to see Will Forte do something with music is great. I didn't even mind Michael Phelps being awkward again.

"We": Nice usage of "huit" and "Wii" as Wiig's weird "we." I think the most laughter in the room stemmed from the weird Swiss doll and pained work-out combination. I feel like I've seen that performance art before. Also, I think Michael Phelps needs to dress like that more often, in shirts that recoil in terror at the sight of his super-long torso.

"Weekend Update": God, that political comedian. I was okay with him at first because I've seen comics and people that do that, but I'm starting to get tired of him now. He either needs to get crazier or disappear altogether. Andy Samberg's appearance as Cathy didn't make much sense to me, but that's probably for the best. At least he succeeded in triggering the same annoying headache that I get when I see those comics. Also: Tummy! Amy Poehler's tummy! God, that's going to be a hilarious baby.

"The Charles Barkley Show": I was actually kind of excited about this because of that hilarious Charles Barkley/Bjork "Iconoclasts" sketch from a while back ("Ohh, Bork!"), but then I realized that this sketch was appearing super-late in the evening and that probably meant it wouldn't be so hot. Everyone in the room with me groaned when Darrell Hammond popped up onscreen. Is he only sticking around in case we need an old guy to play McCain again? He somehow got a little Regis-y during the first part of his Bela impression, and I felt like he didn't really capture that totally gymnastics-crazy excitement that Bela completely exudes.



"T-Mobile Fav 5": A pretty hilarious twist on the T-Mobile Fav 5 commercial and yet another terribly awkward wig on Michael Phelps.



"SNL Digital Short: Space Olympics": Uh ... huh. I think that was just an excuse to use Lil Wayne audio effects. I did laugh out loud at the part about food funding, but I spent most of this short yelling variations of "What in the hell is going on?" My friend said that Andy Samberg looked like he was a futuristic founding father and I can't say I disagreed.



"UNO": i get the feeling that this was the character that the new guy used in his audition to get on the show. I laughed, but I'm not sure what I laughed at. In my notes, I wrote "I'm so confused" at least three times. Was the whole point to throw together, like, four different archetypes into one character so that it would make absolutely no sense? If so, he totally succeeded.

"Michael Phelps Diet": In case you didn't know, this sketch isn't actually that much of an exaggeration on his real training diet. I can't even read about it without having a heart attack or two. Inexplicable appearance by Jared Fogel wearing a Subway shirt. He might as well have walked on holding hands with William Shatner in a Priceline tee. The only time I laughed at Casey Wilson this evening was when she shoved spaghetti in her face and shrugged her shoulders. Ahh, binge eating humor.



Lil Wayne: I guess some people ... like ... this ... stuff ... I mean, someone must, right?

Next time: James Franco and Kings of Leon.