TVSquad

There's a difference between cheap, tawdry publicity stunts that are (pop) culturally significant and those that are just, well, cheap and tawdry. An example of the former is Madonna's infamous VMA performance from 2003 in which she performed and locked lips with not only Christina Aguilera, but Britney Spears as well. An example of the latter would be basically anything involving Katy Perry.

if you've walked past a TV, into a retail store or gotten into a car this summer, chances are you've heard Katy Perry's single, "I Kissed a Girl." There's an even bigger chance that if you just read that sentence, "I Kissed a Girl" is now going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Perry is performing that song during this year's VMA telecast on September 7th, and if you haven't already guessed, she's looking for a girl to kiss.

Of course, this is national television, so not any girl will do: Perry's looking for a celebrity. Apparently MTV is going after this hard and is trying to book none other than Lindsay Lohan for the big smooch. According to a source, "[producers would] love it to be Lindsay, and they're actually going to ask." Get it? Because Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl now? And the song is about kissing a girl? Get it? Do ya?

Shut up, MTV, and shut up, Katy Perry.

Lohan, of course, isn't going to do this. She may have her share of (coke-pant) problems and an "abusive boyfriend in a Lifetime movie-esque" love of publicity, but I would guess that, being in a relationship with a woman and all, she recognizes the difference between that and the cynical attempt to get male attention by doing something "risqué" that Perry sings about in her insipid song.

Yes, the Madonna/Britney/Christina performance was about getting attention, but it was also about one generation passing the pop diva torch to the next. In that case, sex was used as a symbol for what each of their careers was built upon and evolved from. Katy Perry's planned performance, on the other hand, is the musical equivalent of a drunken college girl making out with her friend in order to get the bouncer to let her into a club for free.

In the end, Perry will undoubtedly find some hapless, attention-starved celebrity to make out with onstage, MTV will get its ratings, the kiss will end up on YouTube and everybody will think it's totally hot, and blah, blah, blah. And you know, maybe I'm the only one bothered by this. After all, "I Kissed a Girl" has been at the top of the Billboard charts for 16 weeks now, and the 7-year-olds in front of my house are dancing around singing it all the time. Sometimes you've got to just laugh and shake your head--which is exactly what I think Lohan's going to do when those MTV producers ring her up.