TVSquad

(S10E20) "Dan's not a very good negotiator. What the hell was he smoking?" - Memphis about Dan.

And, no. He certainly isn't. With that whacked-out deal he made with Ollie for the Head of Household win on the last episode of Big Brother 10, Dan will go in the history books as the worst negotiator ever in the series. I don't care if he says he planned it all out. As a matter of tact, if it's planned, then it's even more whacked-out. Read on past the jump for my full review of the show.

Day 46
Yep, I'm skipping Recap City and going right into the days of color. I really wish they would come up with a new way of catching folks up than doing it twice, then in black and white, then the present day is in color. It's so 60s-ish or something. The only new bit of information revealed is that Dan wants to play some kind of game he's naming "Replacement Nominee Roulette." I guess we should all be thankful they don't allow guns and a single bullet in the house, huh?

So, what's happening in the house after the nominations? well, Ollie's gloating over his deal with Dan. He hold all the power in the house yet won't get any of the blood on his hands. Uh-oh ... blood on hands? We should make sure that gun isn't in the house! Not unexpectedly, Memphis thinks that Dan's plan is crap. Not so eloquently put, but he's pretty accurate, especially since he's in danger of being evicted. Jerry is also thinking straight (at least for now) -- he knows he's in trouble. But he tells us once again that he's a fighter. If we don't know that about him yet, then we're not watching the show. I think it's the 375th time he's said that he's a fighter.

Dan, in his "really projecting for no reason" Diary Room voice, tells us that he's a man with a plan. It's a calculated risk he has to take and no one will realize that he and Memphis have an alliance for the final two. Yes, the Renegades. I guess it's a better name than the Four Housemen or the Nerd Herd, but give me a break. Of course, if Memphis doesn't get saved by the veto or they can't get the votes for him to stay, Dan will have nominated and ultimately be responsible for sending his bro pal Memphis packing.

Two-thirds of a deal better than none
Memphis is mad. Memphis is pissed. Sure, Dan likes playing games but this one is with him at stake! Unlike his Diary Room voice, Dan has an excellent soft-spoken calm way when dealing with crisis kind of situations. It must come from dealing with teenagers every day on his normal job. Dan told Memphis the third part of the deal -- Ollie was to name a replacement nominee -- and told him that just wasn't going to happen. If someone comes down, Michelle goes up.

When Renny and Keesha join them in the HOH room, Dan talks of the deal. He emphasizes that if the veto is used, one of them (Renny or Keesha) would go on the block as the deal was not to put either Ollie or Michelle on the block (since Ollie wanted Michelle protected). Keesha warned him that things don't often go the way they're planned. Of course they don't -- that's why he's backpedaling now! I believe someone in a Diary Room session in the last episode called it a "funky-ass deal" and that it is. Dan tells us that he won't keep the third part of the deal ... again.



Meanwhile, Ollie told Jerry and Michelle about the secret third part of the deal (which he wasn't supposed to tell). Jerry, once again with his thinking Marines cap on, doesn't think it will work out. But Michelle and Ollie started almost rubbing their hands in glee and cackling an evil cackle as they thought of all the power they hold in the house.

But first ... America's Vote
I'm not a Jerry fan. Let me make that perfectly clear. However, when it comes to a phone call from home, I personally thought it would be nice if he were the one to win it. My second choice would have been Renny. Why? Because they're older with children (and grandchildren) of their own, spouses they have never left for this long and all those kind of sentimental reasons. The others are all young. Most either moved away from home or went off to college and such.

When Dan called everyone into the living room, they all looked very excited. But Michelle had to tell us how she had to get it. After all, she misses her Mommy! Dang, you'd think she was a homesick ten-year-old with a potty mouth at summer camp. Jerry, in a Diary Room bit, told us that he's never been away from his wife this long in 54 years and he's worried about her health due to her Parkinson's Disease.



The next morning the phone started ringing in the living room with only dingbat Michelle nearby. "Should I answer it? Should I answer it?" Duh, girl. She finally picked it up and it was Jerry's daughter asking to speak to him. It's a wonder Michelle didn't say "Wrong number" and slam the phone back down. Jerry got to talk with his grandson (who's a little cutie) and his wife. Everyone really looked happy for him ... except Michelle. While other had tears in their eyes looking at Jerry, she had tears in her eyes while hanging her head and thinking of herself. After Jerry croak-shouted, "Thank you, America!," Michelle ran off to go crying at her misfortune and the cruel world. Woe is her.

Now, there was a deal? Right?
Memphis, Keesha, and Dan tried to figure out who Michelle would vote for if Memphis remains on the block. Memphis and Michelle used to have kind of an alliance, but she's been drawn to Ollie's side (especially after April left). They think that she's a stronger competitor than Ollie is and they're also worried who she'd put on the block if she wins HOH. That's it! She must go on the block! Dan tells us he has to break the deal.

But he's not telling Ollie that he's going to break it when Ollie comes to him a bit later. Although Ollie has been acting mighty smug, it's like he is starting to get a bit nervous. This deal is too good to be true. But the angels might be smiling down on this son of a preacher man, right? Dan nodded a lot at him.

How do I look in the spacesuit?
Yes, I'm talking about the Power of Veto competition. But first ... they had to pick veto players. Only one sits out this week. Ollie really wants to play as does Michelle. They need to protect their interest even though they hold all the power. If one of them gets it, they'll use it and either Renny or Keesha go up. If Memphis or Jerry win it and use it, Renny and Keesha are at risk, too. Jerry would like Michelle to win it and take him off the block. As usual, they picked the names out of a bag. Dan pulled out Renny's name, Memphis got Keesha, and Jerry got Houseguest's Choice. He chose Michelle.

The PoV comp itself was called "One Giant Leap" and had the players dressed in space garb while the theme from Star Wars played in the background. The backyard was done up like Mars retro complete with red dirt and dunes. There were two platforms with a ropes on pulleys between them. The players had to get in harnesses and "fly" from platform to platform -- picking up puzzle pieces on one platform and solving the puzzle on the other one. There were two heats of three players (randomly picked) each, and the winners of those heats would face-off with a new puzzle in a final round.

First up was Michelle, Dan, and Keesha and the others were sent inside so they wouldn't have an edge. Dan wanted to throw the round to Keesha so that she would use the veto to save Memphis. Hr didn't want to be in the spot of having to use it. Michelle desperately wanted it for herself to save Jerry so Keesha or Renny could go up at Ollie's whim. Not gonna happen, Providence Princess. Keesha won the first heat.

In the second heat, it was Jerry, Renny, and Memphis. Now, Jerry told us how good he is at puzzles. But Michelle had told us that, too. He's on par with her, for sure. Renny was a hoot. She said she did want to win, but she wanted to have fun flying around, too. And, with her love of costumes, the spacesuit was a hit. But it was Memphis who did the deed and won the heat.

In the final heat between Memphis and Keesha, it wasn't as important who won. I guess it was more important for Memphis, though. He super-won. Keesha's puzzle was a bit over half-solved when Memphis put in his final piece. Memphis has secured his Power of Veto. He can save himself and worry about bad scenarios.

Deal? Really?
As Ollie chuckles at the thought of Keesha or Renny going on the block, Dan tells us that he thinks that Ollie and Michelle are going to be shocked. Dan and Memphis celebrated the win in the HOH room by jumping around quietly and doing a special victory handshake. Dan let Keesha and Reeny in on the third part of the deal then. Renny is the one who looked shocked. It just makes no sense to her. (Not to me, either.) Dan assures them that he isn't going to be keeping the third part but they need to stay mum about it.



When Ollie went to talk to him, Dan said he'd try to convince Memphis not to use the veto. Now, there's one lame approach, Dan. Obviously Memphis won't ever pull a Marcellas. No one since Marcellas has won the veto while on the block and saved the other nominee! Julie Chen even hit Marcellas upside the head for that move! But Ollie seemed to buy it. Yes, definitely not a Mensa member.

Dan's Plan - Replacement Nominee Roulette
Then things go even a bit more surreal as Dan comes up with yet another plan. Why, he'd get everyone mad at each other and cause turmoil to keep himself out of the spotlight! He figures that if he can get everyone who could go on the block to name another person to go on the block, they'd all be angry with each other and forget about him. I like the kid, but I'm just not getting his reasoning on all of this. He went around to each person privately and told them pretty much who to name. Ollie and Renny were both reluctant to name each other, but Michelle and Keesha jumped at the chance.

The Veto Ceremony
And it came to fruition. Memphis, as expected, saved himself after Jerry gave a very nice little speech congratulating him and telling he didn't expect to be saved. Then Dan took his spotlight for his Replacement Nominee Roulette. He told them how much he loved to play games. "Who do you wish to go on the block? If you don't name a person, you're on the block!" As he had planned, Renny said Ollie and vice versa; Keesha said Michelle and vice versa.

Then it all happened so fast! Dan said something about gambling was a bet, Ollie lost the bet, and Michelle is on the block. Yep, just like that. Michelle looked shocked before the daggers started flying out of her eyes. Ollie's jaw dropped. Even those who knew that Michelle would go up looked shocked at the manner it went down.

Michelle ran off to cry. She just can't believe that she's on the block for someone else's HOH deal! Dan's a plant! At least I got that much in between the bleeps. If her mother had called her, she probably would have told her to stop cussing every other word. But since she's really mad, it's just about every word now! Ollie, in slow motion, threw a giant lollipop and kicked things over in the yard. Nice editing, CBS!

America's Hand in the next HOH comp
There was a brief blurb about America having a hand in the next HOH comp. If you go to the CBS website, you can vote for the current houseguest you think a future headline will be about. I guess we can tell what that comp will be about!

One last note: Check you local schedules for Thursday's episode. In the NYC area it won't be airing until after The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson due to football and the Democratic National Convention coverage. From internet grumblings, it seems the schedule is kerflooey in many areas for the big "live" double eviction show. Sigh.