TVSquad

After Pumkin went against the ghetto-fabulous Stallionaires alliance in favor of her secret blonde alliance, the house was left in an uproar. If a stupid skank like Pumkin could send home a "playa" like Chance, something must be wrong in the celebreality universe.

The remaining Stallionaires alliance scrambled to make a plan. Rodeo and her third eye already sensed their doom.

Hoopz: Why can't you just go against Megan, Whiteboy? You can't see past her huge...tracts of land. And now me and Rodeo are targets.
Rodeo: Look at that little birdie on the balcony.

Whiteboy: Yo, I work at Target. And yo, I got this crazy scab over on my arm. And yo, don't worry about Megan yo. She'll do what I tell her.

Hoopz and Rodeo were skeptical. Hoopz knew what she had to do -- throw the competition. Rodeo just aimlessly wandered about and talked about people behind their backs.

The yellow team lost the competition. The Entertainer screamed like a lunatic at Hoopz asking her to hit him. I wish she did. But our story isn't about The Entertainer, so I won't get sidetracked.

In the car ride home, Whiteboy worked his Miami heat on Megan from the mid-west. He knew he would have to start on her early to save his true love, Hoopz.


WhiteBoy: I want to stick my tongue down your throat at this point, yo. (That's actually what he said. I added the "yo" for effect.)
Megan: Oh WhiteBoy, I can't resist your wanksta sweet nothings.

Before the yellow team reconvened in the vault, Rodeo went around trying to secure votes from just about everyone. How can you tell everyone (EVERYONE!) that you are on their side? Rodeo even backed a cake for 12 Pack's birthday. Don't get any bright ideas about Rodeo's culinary skills. They are more like "skillz" as she just spread a few tubes of cookie dough onto a sheet pan and hoped for the best.

Alas none of her promises or baked goods worked and it was Rodeo, Toastee and Hoopz in the lockbox and in danger of leaving I Love Money.

You wouldn't like Rodeo when she's angry.
Rodeo: I will NEVER make you a cookie cake on your birthday again. Mark my words.

Now it's all up to Megan. In the most pathetic show of sycophantic behavior I have ever witnessed on celebreality, Rodeo tried to get on Megan's good side. She walked on water (well, walked in shallow water) and tried to mount a wild Mexican horse. Like most of the men in Rodeo's life, the horse ran away as soon as he saw her marching over. Understandable, I suppose. The horse was clearly not into the whole Hildalgo / Sea Biscuit thing.

Rodeo also played waitress, awkardly hugged Megan, cried to Megan's dog Lily, then apologized profusely and cried some more.

Rodeo: I don't want to sound desperate or anything, but could I have the private time with you doing the power outing?


Rodeo: Madam, some Red Bull and vodka?
Megan: Yes, garçon.


Megan: Okay, I never said that you could touch me.
Rodeo: I thought that you were choking. Oh, sorry. You're okay then. What about this sunburn?
Megan: Again with the touching. Not liking the touching.


Lily: If you're watching this, please call the ASPCA.

When Megan returned home, WhiteBoy and the blonde alliance went to work. Brandi yelled at Megan and wanted her to eliminate Hoopz. WhiteBoy once again used his poser charm to convince Megan that Hoopz needs to stay. Megan was confused, a feeling she had all too frequently in her lifetime.

Megan: So, I'm confused. My alliance makes sense but WhiteBoy is so freaking hot.



So, after a long deliberation Megan had made her choice. Toastee got the first check -- but not before Megan insulted her at length. The string of insults went something like this. I hate you. You're a horse face. Your mother is a smelly hooker. Your father has uncontrollable flatulence. You're nothing. Why should I care about you when I am a beacon of blonde hotness and you are nothing but a barnacle on my big fake boobs?

In the end, Megan sent home our girl Rodeo. She insulted her too. But that speech wasn't as good as the one she crafted for Toastee in my opinion.

Bu-Bye Rodeo! Go back to peddlin' BBQ sauce!

Happy Super Skank Wednesday!

P.S. This the first time I'm doing a post script so pay attention. I have something important to say. It's about Megan's rogue nipple. Did you guys see how one nipple was higher than the other in all her confessional? I know I'm obsessive but women who don't put their boobs in their bras or tops right bother me. I call them "Picassos" when their boobs look like that.

Okay, now I'm done.