TVSquad

Has it really been two weeks? I hope you all have been coping better than I have. There were a lot of night terrors and failed McCain jokes along the way, as I coped with my withdrawal. Well, Jon Stewart (and Stephen Colbert) are back and, while they didn't talk about everything I expected them to cover (FISA? The weird reactions to the latest New Yorker cover?), there are only so many minutes in each episode.

Hey! Don't get too cocky about your economic stimulus plan, because Iraq's Prime Minister is handing out money on the streets. Not exactly incentive to move to a country ravaged by war, but getting free cash still sounds cool.

"Indecision 2008": John McCain has the worst poker face ever, going bug-eyed with horror and constantly stroking his chin at the mention of health insurance issues. I started cracking up before the clip was even over. Maybe he was less nervous and more terrified about talking about Viagra and birth control on camera. Jesse Jackson didn't do so hot on camera either, after he let it slip that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's nuts off for talking down to black people. He must have known that this would get out; he was whispering directly into his mic! Come on.



"Photoshop of Horrors": Iran flaunted its four new long-range missiles, only to be totally humiliated by... anyone that has eyes. The photo they released was actually Photoshop'd -- very, very poorly Photoshop'd -- so the media had a bit of fun laughing at their lack of skillz. And then they went back to soiling themselves because it still means that Iran has three new missiles. Senior Military Analyst John Oliver explained the disturbing power of Photoshop and Rick Rolling in the wrong hands. I've said it once (probably), and I'll say it again: Jon's vagina is hilarious, especially when it's pixelated.



The night's guest was Andrew Ward, author of The Slaves' War: The Civil War in the Words of Former Slaves. Mr. Ward must have been super nervous, because this interview was pretty awkward, for the most part. He eventually got his points across, leading to a fairly straightforward discussion of the book and the research involved, but there were a lot of nervous laughs and dated jokes along the way. Hey, it happens to the best of 'em.



Jon/Stephen: Stephen Colbert had a great vacation, but wanted to let us know about Jon's diarrhea troubles. Normally, I would have just shrugged this off as another Jon/Stephen joke, but I did notice that Jon was looking a bit different (and a bit more grey, yeah? Not that I mind). Maybe he really was sick. With diarrhea.



Moment of Zen: Tom Brokaw knows what he's talking about.