TVSquad

(S10E01) We were spoiled this year with Big Brother. The winter season of BB was arguably the only good thing to come out of the WGA strike (if you're a sucker for low-brow television like me). And now it's back again in its regular summer schedule.

Speaking of schedules, Jackie and I will be covering the show this summer. I'll be doing Sunday episodes with Jackie covering Tuesday and Wednesday. You can also count of TV Squad for Jackie's Live Feed Reports and I might post a few updates from Big Brother After Dark which airs on ShoToo (I knew there was a reason I added Showtime to my cable bill. And I thought I was just getting The Tudors and Secret Diary of a Call Girl.)

Okay, let's get to what happened last night.

The Video Package:

The show started with it's classic introductory video package where the cameras surprise (SURPRISE!) houseguests with their big fake keys to the house. ChenBot informed us that this was the first time since Big Brother 3 (the first season I watched) that the thirteen houseguests were complete strangers. Let's meet them.

Jerry from Magnolia, TX (oldest dude to play on a reality show, a 75-year-old great-grandfather)
April from Higley, AZ (found her key in her desk, the blonde bombshell)
Dan from Dearborn, MI (Catholic school teacher, the uber-conservative one)
Libra from Spring, TX (the mommy)
Steven from The Woodlands, TX (the gay guy, also a rodeo star on the gay rodeo circuit--who knew there was a gay rodeo circuit?)
Renny from New Orleans, LA (the cougar & the nutjob)
Ollie from Bloomington, MN (the religious one, the preacher)
Brian from San Francisco, CA (the sleazy one)
Memphis from Los Angeles, CA (the boy toy, he says a girl bought him a car once...more on that later)
Angie from Orlando, FL (the single-and-ready-too-mingle girl)
Keesha from Burbank, CA (the cute innocent one)
Jessie from Rudd, IA (the meathead)
Michelle from Cumberland, RI (the loud one)

We cut to the houseguests outside the BB house and Julie informed them that they would vote for HOH right then and there. They could only go on appearances.

Then they went in the house...

First to enter were Renny, Dan, Angie, Jessie, and April. Dan said that he didn't like the pink room or the "peace and love" room, but the red and black room with its sinister color scheme suited him just fine. Renny exclaimed that the Volkswagen van in the peace and love room was a blast from the past as she had one when she was a kid. In her diary room segment Renny glibly retold how she got pulled over a lot in that van. (I'm just happy that she chose that story over some anecdote about what inevitably happened in the backseat of said van.)

Then Libra, Brian, Keesha, and Memphis came in. Brian noted that everyone was being polite because no one knew who the HOH was yet.

Finally, Steven, Jerry, Michelle, and Ollie joined them. Renny went up to Jerry and asked if he was a Marine (uh, yeah, check the hat and the shirt). She then asked if he was in World War II. Wow. So, we now know that Renny can't do math. Did he fight the Nazis when he was eleven? Angie, who works for a pharmaceutical company, pointed out that Renny's remarks to Jerry were rude.

The Introductions:

Here's what we found out as the hamsters drank champagne and congratulated themselves. Renny is married with two children, one went to LSU and one went to Harvard. How she produced a Harvard grad is beyond me at this point. (Sorry, it was Auburn. I could've sworn she said Harvard, though.)Dan is a teacher and a serious Catholic. He mentioned that he things may go down in the house that are "contradictory to my religion," but he'll go to confession afterwards. Dan also said that he might want to align with Brian, who is a cell phone salesman (but made everyone think he was some important engineer of microwave telecommunications at first).

Keesha is originally from Ohio and works at Hooters. She voted for Jerry to be HOH. Memphis is a mixologist for an entertainment company (*cough* bartender). But he maintains that he's a creator of cocktails, "like a chef for alcoholics." Steven was cautious in introducing himself to the group. He didn't say that he was gay or that he was a rodeo champion (or that he was a gay rodeo champion).

Ollie is a marketing sales representative. He liked April's boobs. "The Lord has blessed her," he laughed. Jerry also liked April's boobs; he liked them enough to give her a breast exam. Actually, to be fair, April went around throwing them in his face to prove that they are real. April, a finance manager for a car dealership, voted for Renny because she thought Renny was a "motherly type" but recanted minutes later saying the Renny was nuts.

Other intros included Michelle who told everyone that she was Portugeuse and therefore crazy, and Libra, who explained that she has three bi-racial children (two of which are twins -- one black and one white).

The Competition

Even though HOH had already been decided outside the house, the hamsters got to compete for food and one lucky hamster got a car. In "Buggin' Out" the houseguests had to pile themselves into VW bugs (suspended upside down on a straight track across the backyard). They had to use ropes to pull them across, each time retrieving gas and losing a member of the car. Once out of the car, you were out of the running for the grand prize but you could still help push the car.

Both Memphis and Steven don't have cars so everyone tried to help them win. Steven doesn't have a car because his truck blew up the day he came to BB. And Memphis's career in mixology pays so well that... well, I think you know where I'm going with that one. Wait a minute! Memphis said that a girl bought him a car. Guess she took it back.

In the end, Steven conceded while the two played a game of odds and evens (or was it rock, paper, scissors?). The red team pushed Memphis to victory winning food for themselves and a '69 Camaro for the bartender from Los Angeles.

Brian and Dan go to work...

After the hamsters got coralled back in the living room, ChenBot announced that Jerry had won four votes and therefore was HOH. (Renny got three.) Right after they found out that Jerry was Head of Household, Dan and Brian went to work on their scheming. They formed a bond (the superficial type where they give each other compliments and say that they're in it to the end). But they need a third hamsketeer so Dan talked to Ollie. Dan said that he could see in the "blacks of Ollie's eyes" he knew Ollie was telling the truth and would be loyal. Okay, you mean his pupils?

But these three hamsters are nothing without the power of the HOH behind him. So, Brian went to work his magic on Jerry. He started off by revealing that he was in the service as well (Air Force). Jerry immediately trusts Brian believing that anyone in the military has a "sense of maturity." However, Jerry wants to put Dan up for eviction (Oh No!) because he thinks Dan is a "loose cannon." Brian asks Jerry to put up Jessie and Renny. The night before the two had an argument. While Jessie was asleep in an adjacent bedroom, Renny was screaming that the door was unlocked. Steven got up to open the door for her and she let out a "jackal laugh." Jessie confronted her in the bathroom (the "wittle" baby doesn't like to be woken up) and Renny responded by repeating "lighten up!"

The Nomination Ceremony

It was clear that Jerry approached this nomination ceremony with a sober mind and a little bit of a heavy heart. Here's how the keys were pulled: Michelle, Angie, Memphis, Libra, April, Brian, Steven, Keesha, Ollie, Dan. That leaves Renny and Jessie up for elimination. It looks like Brian got his way. He was already patting himself on the back in his diary room segment saying he pulls the strings (and incidentally, I already don't like him).

But I'm not too sure that Brian is any sort of puppetmaster. Judging from Jerry's rather articulate and calm speech, I think Jerry could be a force to be reckoned with in this season. The HOH told the nominees that there was come conflict between these two and rather than let it fester, the other housemates would decide who goes and who stays.