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Hallmark plans 30 movies ... about love, of course

Jacqueline Bisset / An Old-Fashioned ThanksgivingThere's a long-running joke around our house about the Hallmark channel. Whenever anyone surfs by it long enough to hear a wispy theme song, someone will invariably drop to their knees, lightly press the back of their hand to their forehead, and feign a woman in emotional turmoil. Let's face it, that pretty much describes a lot of Hallmark movies.

So when I read in Variety that Hallmark has 30 movies in the pipeline -- and would be announcing them at the Television Critics Association confab (I guess that's what they call it when it's not the real deal?) -- I knew that a good portion of them would probably have the word "love" in the title.

Yep, sure enough. They've picked up the rights to the next two installments in the Love Comes Softly franchise, based on Janette Oke's series of eight novels set in the Old West.

The seventh title, Love Takes Wing, is in production and will air in the first quarter of 2009, starring Cloris Leachman and Hayley Duff. The final title, Love Finds a Home, is still in the script stage and hasn't been cast.

Also on the docket are four holiday films, including The Christmas Choir (Dec. 6); Accidental Friendship (Nov. 15), starring Chandra Wilson and Ben Vereen; An Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving (Nov. 22), starring Jacqueline Bisset (pictured); and Expecting a Miracle (Jan. 3), with Jason Priestley and Teri Polo.

Please, anyone who watches these movies, I'm begging you to post a comment here and tell me why. Yeah, I get that they're inspirational and all that -- you know, like a Hallmark card -- but I just can't stomach a whole two hours of it. And I love cards -- okay, maybe not Hallmark cards, but I have a nice collection of cards for every occasion in a basket by my desk.

I'm just not a Hallmark movie watcher, but I'd really like to hear from someone who is. Maybe I should check out some of the other shows, like Jane Doe? I do watch M*A*S*H on Hallmark every night, so that's something.

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