TVSquad

If there were a way to completely stop people on the Internet from saying, "Why do you keep watching this? Saturday Night Live hasn't been good since the days of Gildaphil Belushikroyd Normfeyrrell!", I would punch that button (or that person). Thinking a little more optimistically, there can always be better days ahead, for SNL is forever renewable, with an ever changing cast and crew. The thing that gets the fastest turn-over is the host, who has the opportunity to bring something new and exciting from week to week.

Now that the so-so 33rd season is over, I like to pretend everyone at SNL has kicked aside all the beach time and BBQ invites to plan something exciting for their return. Picking good hosts is an important part of having a successful season, so I've compiled my own list of nine people that must host, just in case SNL decides to re-work the entire show based on blog responses. I'm just covering all my bases, all right?



Flight of the Conchords (Jemaine Clement, Bret McKenzie): I often find myself instantly skeptical when it's time for another host that's also playing musical guest. Sometimes it works out more than alright, like with the surprisingly funny Justin Timberlake, but other times ... not so much. One group that has already proven their comedy chops and their ability to bring the funk is Flight of the Conchords. We know they've already touched upon Elven acting, indie awkwardness and Tongan ass-kicking, but how will they fare in sketch comedy? Probably hilariously. Plus, there's two of them, so if one gets kidnapped by fangirls before the show, there's back-up.

Michael Cera: During the writers' strike, SNL put on a stage show at the Upright Citizens Brigade theatre, with Michael Cera serving as host. Of course, it wasn't televised, so most of us regular viewers were deprived of this awesomeness. Upon the show's return, it seemed almost inevitable that Cera would return. That didn't happen. Because they hate us. And God hates us too. We didn't even get a cameo when Jonah Hill hosted, which was weird, because doesn't the entire Apatow group legally have to stay within thirty feet of each other at all times? SNL needs to get Cera back on the show before he's too old to play the awkward youngster and the ladies don't find him endearing anymore.

Ricky Gervais: "The Japanese Office" from Steve Carell's episode featured a brief cameo from Ricky Gervais, which reminded me that he'd never been on SNL before that. Gervais' star is rapidly rising in the States, with NBC's incarnation of The Office and Extras both being smash hits, and he always seems to be promoting something, so why hasn't he hosted? Once he's up there, we can work on doing the same for his terribly underrated creative partner, Steven Merchant. [EDIT: Mr. Gervais has posted a response to this on his blog. Apparently, he has been asked to host twice, but had to decline because of scheduling conflicts. He'd still like to do it some time, so let's keep our fingers crossed for next season! Thanks to readers Jessica and Beth for pointing this out.]

Stephen Colbert: As I watched Steve Carell host SNL for the second time, I wondered to myself why his Daily Show correspondent buddy Stephen Colbert hadn't done the same already. Mr. Colbert is kind of a big deal now, as The Colbert Report has been making awesome television since 2005. Even Jon Stewart hosted back in 2002. His episode wasn't tremendously remarkable, but I distinctly remember Mr. Stewart playing a creepy old guy and rubbing Jimmy Fallon. Now, look at it this way ... Jon took over The Daily Show in 1999 and hosted SNL three years later. Isn't it Stephen's turn now? He has a sketch comedy background from Exit 57 and The Dana Carvey Show, and we all know that he works beautifully in front of an audience. Really, it's been far too long. The only explanation I will accept for this wait is if he and Carell are still getting in shape for a live-action Ambiguously Gay Duo skit.

Robert Downey, Jr.: It's been over ten years since Robert Downey, Jr. hosted for the first time and over twenty since his super-brief stint as a cast member. The man has had good time to hone his comedy chops since then, and his unusually hilarious performances in films like Iron Man and A Scanner Darkly have proven him more than worthy of another visit. Plus, these new post-Iron Man fangirls are insane and SNL could probably use the boost from this hotness.

Simon Pegg: This man is funny. He is a funny man. Man, is he funny. I could go on for days about his work co-writing and starring in Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, which is good, because it means I have enough material to not elaborate on how I felt about Big Nothing, Run Fat Boy Run, and whatever David Schwimmer-attached project I may have repressed. Pegg has been everywhere with his comedy, from stand-up to sitcoms to character-driven sketch comedy (the wonderfully surreal Big Train). His upcoming How to Lose Friends And Alienate People seems to have quite a few popular American names, so a night on the SNL stage would be a sweet way to promote that, yeah? Yeah, yeah? Please?

Conan O'Brien: Now that Conan O'Brien is officially taking over Jay Leno's spot in 2009, it's time for another visit to his old SNL stomping grounds. O'Brien hosted once in 2001, but has yet to return, which kind of surprises me because I thought he was absolutely hysterical. In fact, that episode was the reason why I started watching Late Night in the first place. Before the West coast (or the LA smog) completely consumes O'Brien for good, it'd be nice to let him say, "Live from New York..." as a New Yorker, one last time.

And on that note...

Jimmy Fallon: Whoa, hold on there! Put down those pitchforks! He's not actually here, so calm yourselves. Hear me out, guys, hear me out. As soon as it was announced that Fallon would be taking over Late Night, the response was immediate and outrageously mixed. Some even went as far as to say they would rather see Carson Daly in the spot than Fallon. Seriously, folks, let's just not say anything we might regret. Fallon hasn't really done that much since his SNL days, when he would obnoxiously giggle through every single sketch or nervously play with his hair whenever Sir Ian McKellen tried to make out with him. There's been a Taxi here and a Fever Pitch there, but not much else. Hopefully, Fallon has taken this excess time to give his career a good, hard look. It would be nice to have Fallon re-introduce himself to NBC's late night comedy world by hosting next season, if only to say, "Look! I can hold my laughter even without Tracy Morgan staring daggers at me. And I got a better haircut!" Unless he didn't, in which case I'm going to say good-bye to Late Night and start going to bed earlier.

I just realized that there aren't any ladies on this list, but there honestly aren't any that I would include on my magic host wishlist. That's a bit heart-breaking, no? I'd say Kristen Wiig, but she's already bringing the funny every week as a cast member. Please feel free to comment with some women you think would do a fine job of hosting SNL. However, if anyone even dares to mention the likes of Lisa Lampanelli or Sarah Silverman, I will not hesitate to Internet-punch you in the face.