TVSquad

"George W. Bush: Still President": Despite President Bush's initial refusal to negotiate with baddies, he has decided to take back what he said about North Korea. That's a flip-flop, sir! So, no more Axis of Evil? Just Gaggle of Douchebags? It's more childish phrasing from Bush, just like the magic wand he likes to talk about when facing high oil prices. Oh, and Barack Obama likes to... use... that... too... Great.

Everyone knows that America's addicted to oil, and President Bush's solution to this problem is to let us have more cocaine -- I mean, oil. Resident Expert John Hodgman stopped by to explain Bush's backwards attempt to wean us off oil. First of all, his hair was much less distracting, so that was a bonus. Secondly, Gobbler's Meth sounds like it would be delicious, especially with a wee bit of honey mustard. Hey, Hodgman's upcoming book, More Information Than You Require, is already listed on Amazon! I don't think I can wait until October for more information than I require.



"News at the Gym": Senior Gym Correspondent Jason Jones, sporting his best sweatbands, interpreted muted news pieces from his treadmill at the gym. The concept sounds kind of dumb, but it could be a pretty funny recurring piece, actually. There'd be neverending material, and Jason Jones seems to do a rather nice job. Talking over footage of Chuck Norris kicking ass is inherently funny, but the idea of him breaking Geraldo Rivera's arm is hilarious.



The night's guest was Ted Koppel of Koppel on Discovery. Puppy! Mr. Koppel brought his daughter's dog, Pepper, to the interview! "Do it for Pepper," he pleaded. Will people tune in to the show to save Pepper? Probably not, but it was a nice try. Koppel's last adventure was in China, and from the looks of the clip, he probably spent the last few weeks recovering from black snot and earwax. Bottom line: China is working hard and totally drinking America's milkshake.



Moment of Zen: Fireworks! Mannequins! God Bless America!

Jon Stewart didn't mention it, but Stephen Colbert did on The Colbert Report, it looks like boys are taking a two-week break. I'm assuming they're both on the same schedule, after all. Hopefully Jon will feel a little more confident about his paunchiness and Stephen will return without his bruises and stitches, endearing as they are.