TVSquad

"Baracknophobia": The irrational fear of hope is spreading, even among Barack Obama's own people. Obama campaign staffers sent away two women with head scarves because they didn't want to remind people at the photo op about the rumors of Obama being Muslim. Not as bad as the baby-punching, I must say, and at least he apologized.

"Guantanamo Baywatch": The Supreme Court ruled that prisoners in Guantanamo Bay can contest their detention before a judge. Some folks aren't too happy about this, what with their poor Mexican topiary managers having fewer rights and all. The managers are Mexican, by the way, not the topiaries. Senior Imprisoned Correspondent, Gitmo, stopped by to share his thoughts. Man, Jon Stewart is really no good with puppets. Every voice he does sounds like South Park's Jennifer "Taco-Flavored Kisses" Lopez.



Weirdly enough, The Colbert Report also had a special Sesame Street guest the same night. Cookie Monster stopped by to clear the air about his fruit addiction and devour Stephen Colbert's newest Peabody. Heck, I'm just going to post the video because I love Cookie Monster.



Oh, geez. Sorry. Wrong one.



Ahem. Back to Daily Show. President Bush has some rather ambitious goals for his remaining months in office. It's a to-do list of things that could have been done at any point in the last seven years. It's been a long time since we've seen "The Decider" on the show. I think it was still R Sikoryak's work. I've never really laughed at these cartoon bits, and this installment was no exception. The idea is funny, but the execution is always super-weak.



The night's guest was Mike Myers, promoting The Love Guru and sharing way too much information. I will never be able to look at Mr. Myers the same way again. "Pee-pee out of my bum-bum"? At least he didn't try to hijack the conversation with a stand-up style tirade. Whenever comedians are booked as guests, I have nightmare flashbacks of Dennis Miller's interviews, which are so painful to watch. The best part of this interview was Mike Myers' outrage at his brother's man-crush on Jon Stewart trumping his brotherly love. And while we may not ever be able to see Jon wearing a banana hammock, this is pretty disturbing too.



Moment of Zen: Only President Bush can make writing utensils sound so totally douche-y.