TVSquad

Even when I was a little kid, there were some things about the Super Friends (or Superfriends or Superamigos, or whatever they were calling it) that didn't sit right with me. Maybe it was because the confluence of superpowers all in one place just boggled my young mind. Maybe it was the mysterious change from Wendy and Marvin to the Wonder Twins that made me scratch my tiny noggin. Not sure. But those mysteries continue to fascinate me, even into adulthood. It's just that those mysteries are more sophisticated:

1. How did the Super Friends have time to hang out at the Hall of Justice? Every one of the SFs lived in different parts of the country: Batman and Robin were in Gotham City, for instance. So, did B&R commute from Gotham to Metropolis a few times per week? Did they use the Bat Plane or the Batmobile most of the time? Did they claim the mileage on their taxes?

2. Come to think of it, why was the HOJ in Metropolis? Did all of the Justice League just give in to some (pretty forceful) arm twisting from Superman? Did Supe consider how much of a pain in the ass it was going to be for the rest of the SFs to get to the HOJ? I mean, even in the Seventies, fuel for Wonder Woman's invisible jet wasn't that cheap. Almost every one of the other SFs were mere mortals with a particular power, which means they had to use a mechanical method of transport: Batman had a car, plane and motorcycle; WW had that plane; Aquaman swam; Green Lantern and Black Falcon Vulcan... walked (we never really know, do we?).

Superman, however, could instantly fly to wherever he needed, no plane or helicopter or other vehicle required. Why did he require everyone to come to him? Perhaps they didn't like to speak up at the meetings.

3. Why did the SFs always seem to be standing around waiting for the computer to pop up with a problem? After all, there had to have been disasters to avert and evil people to defeat all over the planet. You'd think that the only person manning the computer at the HOJ would have been a dispatcher of sorts, letting the SFs know what's going on by radio. But it seemed like we saw a lot of the SFs just standing around or playing chess while chaos was going on. For a bunch of superheroes, they weren't a very proactive group, were they?

4. Did the SFs get a tax break on the Hall Of Justice? That's an awfully big complex there, and it was right in the middle of Metropolis. Did the government own it and lend it to the Justice League? Or did Superman own it and lease it out to his Justice League LLC? Since the SFs never got paid for their work, I can't see how they ever paid property taxes on the place. Heck, I don't even know how they paid for maintenance; that huge computer must have blown a vacuum tube at least once a month.

5. Why didn't we ever see the SFs' alter egos? Wasn't the whole point about all of these characters that they had to live life every day trying to shield their powers, only to unleash them when disaster calls? If you just watched the Super Friends, you'd never know that Superman was Clark Kent, Wonder Woman was Diana Prince, Batman was Bruce Wayne and Green Lantern was ... whoever he was at the time (he's had a number of alter egos).

6. Did the Wonder Twins ever try changing into something else? Zan was always a form of water. Jayna was always some sort of animal. Was this something that they just knew to do from birth? Or did they at one time try to turn into something else and just failed? Did Zan try to be a ring of fire, or Zayna be a machine gun? I always wondered why they limited their transformation possibilities so much. Seems like a lack of ambition to me. Pheh. Typical teenagers.

(By the way, one of my favoirte Scrubs jokes is when J.D. and Turk do their Wonder Twins thing and Zach Braff ad-libs "form of... an ice menorah!")

7. Were Penguin and The Joker too good for the Legion of Doom? These are Batman's two most vexing enemies. Yet they only made occasional appearances on the Super Friends, and almost never with the Legion of Doom. The only one of Batman's enemies that made it was The Riddler. It makes me wonder why. Did Joker and Penguin look down on the LOD? Maybe they thought their plots were pointless and silly. Or maybe they thought that meeting in a swamp was de classe. Not sure. Maybe the LOD didn't like them.

8. Didn't the EPA go after the Legion of Doom for having their HQ in a swamp? Every time that Darth Vader-looking thing rose out of the swamp, I wondered how many birds were being scattered, how many alligators would fall off the roof, and just how many rare orchids were torn to pieces. OK, I never worried about any of that. But still, it makes you wonder why the government, even if they couldn't snag any of the LOD on their various crimes, couldn't have at least gotten them for building in a designated wetlands region.

9. Why didn't anyone have pants? Didn't it get cold in some of the places where the SFs and their enemies fought it out? I mean, look at what Wonder Woman had to wear ... a bodice, a pair of boots and some bracelets! Didn't anyone get cold?

Oh, and the LOD was even worse, as this old ad from the Cartoon Network points out: