Cracked,I take back everything bad I ever said about you. Sure you began life as an also-ran copycat of Mad magazine and sure you dominate digg with a seemingly endless string of under-written pop-culture lists, but popularizing the following video makes it all better. Put it this way, I'm Kobe Bryant's wife and this video is a $4 million purple diamond ring.Be warned before you click through, however, this video contains both obscene language and a shirtless Jean-Luc Picard in bed with Q. Also, if you play it more than two or three times, there's a chance the nerd secret police will repel line right into your office.
That said, this might be the best silly internet video to come out in a long while. I'm convinced it will usher in a new world order, much like the music of Wyld Stallyns. If you're prepared for that, follow me after the jump...
Now that you've seen it, share some of your favorite lines in the comments. (And yes, this is probably going to get a little bit dirty, but if everyone is nice and uses *s for the especially naughty no-no words, we might be able to get through this post without angering the easily angered).
I'll start: And don't forget about Counselor Troi, that Betazoid will leave your d*ck destroyed.
I am seriously way too happy that I found this today.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-06-2008 @ 5:52PM
slinga said...
This video is similar in that it puts music to all of the trek series (except the latest), buffy, angel, spike, farscape and anime
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlYYzN6Zc-o
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6-06-2008 @ 8:02PM
Gene Cowan said...
Seriously? Unfunny, uninspired, incredibly crude, stupid, uninteresting. And really bad sound.
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6-07-2008 @ 10:10AM
jun said...
I concur. That was way gross.
6-07-2008 @ 6:14PM
Lenny said...
I could not agree more. This was less than funny.
6-06-2008 @ 8:27PM
Dwacon said...
It reaches for funny but barely misses...
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6-06-2008 @ 9:03PM
Melissa said...
You're kidding right? The video was sick and stupid.
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6-06-2008 @ 9:26PM
fullbug said...
As someone who used to watch that show, I thought it was very clever and funny, the Data line is great....
'He's the robot man with the robotic cock, knock on your g-spot like he's Sherlock....'
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6-06-2008 @ 11:13PM
Blair Mitchelmore said...
Personally I think cracked's "under-written pop-culture lists" are actually very well written; some of them leave me in pain from laughter.
And this video is truly glorious. Another video in this vein released by jib jab is shawshank in a minute which your sister blog cinematical has written about previously.
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6-07-2008 @ 12:26AM
Frank Wrench said...
I actually find most of Cracked's lists funnier than this video. Maybe it's cause I never saw too many episodes of TNG (I know the characters and stuff, but I can never seem to catch it on TV). Actually, the video is by a sketch comedy troupe called "Those Aren't Muskets", whose leader, Michael Swaim, (the tall guy) is a Cracked blogger. That's why so many of their videos are on Cracked. Did I mention that I go to Cracked every day? Yeah, I'm pathetic.
6-07-2008 @ 2:54AM
Jay Black said...
Hey Blair, just to clarify, I specifically wrote "under-written" instead of "poorly written" because while I too find them funny, I think that you sometimes don't get a lot of meat with those articles. Of course, this is coming from someone who takes 2000 words to say whether an Office episode was good or not, so perhaps my concept of what the right amount of words for an internet article should be is way off :)
(There's an interesting mini-controversy about this same thing between Bill Simmons and Rick Reilly over at Espn.com. Bill -- my internet hero, for good or for ill -- isn't happy with an article until it's twelve million words long, while the newly hired Reilly is planning to churn out 800 words a week -- that's 800 words a week for a reported $3 million. There's something to be said for brevity, but maybe my penchant for taking long bathroom breaks has trained me to only enjoy internet articles that run absurd lengths.)
6-07-2008 @ 9:03AM
David said...
Reilly stopped being a good writer 5 years ago. Now he just gets paid to bring a tear to your eye. My happiest day was when it was announced he was leaving SI. Bill, on the other hand, is a truly gifted writer.
6-07-2008 @ 3:44PM
mike m said...
this was hilarious! jay, thanks for posting this...you have made my day!
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6-07-2008 @ 5:28PM
D-Bo said...
I saw this on Cracked the other day and almost fell out of my chair. IMO it's a great parody and now my favorite Star Trek song (not that I can think of what my favorite was prior to this).
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6-07-2008 @ 5:44PM
D-Bo said...
"His bald head will make you sweat cause he's a French mother****** with a tasty baguette."
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6-24-2008 @ 8:17PM
Jamila said...
"I am fully functional" and "When it comes to bustin' pussy, Riker's _numba one_." Gotta say, though, I like Cracked. Occasionally, their lists are relevant and funny.
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