TVSquad

"You Don't Know Dick": It's about time for another segment! I was worried they had run out of wacky things about our VP. The Today Show's Meredith Vieira stopped by Dick Cheney's house, which doesn't look quite as pixelated in person, to show the world just how rich and creepy his home is. Abandoned children's toys and lonely swings aren't exactly inviting images. The most amusing part of this was not the sneak peek at the Cheney household (although I'm sure you loved it), but the sheer terror evident in the audience's reactions to any mention of "nude, pixelated Cheney genitalia". That's actually the name of my new emo band.

On the Democratic side, the media has made it pretty obvious that they think Barack Obama has the game completely wrapped up and it's time for Hillary Clinton to pack it in. However, the Clinton camp is still determined and will not let go. Clinton recently stated that she still has the vote of hard-working white people who haven't completed college. Senior Campaign Correspondent Rob Riggle offered some advice to the Obama campaign on just how to shake Clinton.

"Back in Black": Man, are people still talking about that photo of Miley Cyrus looking gross and Les Miserables-esque? I mean, granted it's not exactly age-appropriate and it's not particularly flattering, but how is that more creepy that those weird, seductive pictures that she takes with her daddy, Billy Ray Cyrus? Too gross to touch? Anyway... Lewis Black chimed in on the economic stimulus package, breaking down just exactly what that extra $600 in our pockets. On one hand, America gets to buy a whole bunch of crap with free money. On the other hand, this money isn't really free, is it? I would also like to note that giant, fancy, white ties don't scream "angry social commentary", even when they're loosened. And was that a pink shirt? Mr. Black is just an old softie.



The night's guest was David D. Perlmutter, author of Blogwars: The New Political Battleground. Of course, the entire interview focused on the influence of blogs, specifically in the political field. I don't know if that was made obvious in the book title. It was a pretty straight-forward discussion, with nothing surprising. Also, I would like to take this time to reassure you all that I am one of those "authentic" bloggers that Perlmutter was talking about. I can prove that by providing my own attack Perlmutter right here, right now. Hey, Perlmutter! Nice shirt! Did you and Lewis Black exchange tops before the break?! Exclamation mark!

Yeah, I'm good. Quality blogging.



Jon/Stewart: Stephen Colbert sneakily shows his desire for the Democrats to continue tearing each other apart. Have fun with that, McCain. Moment of Zen: Indian ghosts at the Cheney household? Come on. The VP wouldn't allow that business near his home. Or Mondale children.