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Why don't Bill O'Reilly or Keith Olbermann have a Stat Boy?

Sorry, but you guys are WRONG...I've mentioned several times in this space about my love for ESPN's Pardon the Interruption, but I can always find a reason to say it again: I love this show! I mean, both Kornheiser and Wilbon rank several places higher than most of my family on my Kidney Donation short-list. I don't want to overstate the issue, but spending an afternoon eating pizza and watching PTI makes me understand how Cartman felt when he got own his own amusement park. Soooooooooo happy.

As I was describing (yet again) to my wife how much I love the show, something occurred to me regarding all the other other millions and millions talking-head shows bouncing around my digital cable box: why don't any of them employ a stat boy?

If you've never seen PTI (and if you haven't, what's wrong with you?), this is what I'm talking about: after a half hour of Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debating the day's sporting events, Tony Reali (Stat Boy) comes on and corrects any factual errors that they may have made during the course of the show. The conceit is that any two people -- experts or no -- will have trouble keeping facts straight over the course of thirty extemporaneous minutes. Add into the mix that Tony Kornheiser has apparently stopped watching sports altogether, and the need for error correction becomes self-evident.

PTI's use of an ombudsman is a nod to Kornheiser and Wilbon's newspaper roots. These are old-school guys for whom getting the facts straight actually, you know, mean something. For instance, last week when Wilbon mistakenly said that Bob McAdoo was taken first overall in the 1972 NBA draft, Stat Boy was there at the end of the show with the information that, no, he was taken second, thank you very much.

Does this matter to any human being outside the McAdoo family and the four or five NBA fans still left in North America? Of course not. But it shows a fundamental respect for the truth. Kornheiser and Wilbon know that even though their's is a debate show, centered on opinion, that opinion is meaningless unless it's built on the foundation of truth.

PTI's respect for the truth has always struck me as being something quaint, like when my grandmother insisted on giving me $10 on my 23rd birthday. Unnecessary, but still kind of nice. When we start to deal with political shows, however, adherence to fact is not only important, but absolutely necessary.

Here's my reasoning why:

1. With political shows, we're not dealing with Bob McAdoo's draft position or the number of times the Bears have made the post-season since 1985. We're dealing with actual stuff that actually matters. Things like rockets being fired (and I don't mean Yao Ming losing his job)! Things like sabers being rattled (and I don't mean Jocelyn Thibault looking bad in practice)! Things like brave patriots dying (and I don't mean Tom Brady... oh, you get the point)!

2. It's nearly impossible for anyone to be error-free during an hour of unrehearsed speaking. Even if Bill O'Reilly or Keith Olbermann were hit with gamma radiation and turned into giant-brained, super-intelligent Leaders, the odds would still be against them being able to present accurate information. This is not a knock on them personally, just the realities of being a human being: people goof up.

And it's not like we're talking about RBIs or OBP here. These guys are talking about great swaths of human knowledge -- a typical show for each of them will swing from the environment to the war to health care and Brittney Spears. Assuming they sleep like normal people and granting them each an hour of smug mugging in the mirror each day (c'mon, you know they both do it), there's no way they'd have nearly enough time to learn everything that needs to be learned about the subjects they're supposed to speak about intelligently.

3. People worship these guys. If the general populace is going to be making decisions based on what Bill O'Reilly or Keith Olbermann tell them, it's very important that they get the facts straight. Again, the worst thing that could happen if Kornheiser and Wilbon screw-up is that maybe somebody hesitates on buying an Al Harris jersey. O'Reilly and Olbermann, however, can sway elections.

So, here's the question: why don't either of these guys use a Stat Boy? Why not set aside one minute at the end of every show to devote to fact-checking? If these shows are so dedicated to unvarnished truth and no-spin zones, then, hell, howsabout taking the same steps that two sportswriters managed to take and show some respect for the truth?

And if they don't do it, why should we keep watching?

(By the way, before you accuse me of being liberal or conservative -- with icy derision dripping from your commenting fingers -- I put O'Reilly and Olbermann in the title on purpose. They occupy opposing positions on the political spectrum, but they both suffer from the same disregard of the truth. Since not a single similar talking-heads political show employs an ombudsman, feel free to filter this post through your own one-sided political glasses!)

(By the way, take two: in the interest of being my own ombudsman, I wanted to share this post by one of the creators of Moonlight completely eviscerating my auteur theory post from a few weeks back. Yes, I felt a little like Ed Rooney limping onto the bus at the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off when I finished reading it, but he made several good points that I think people should know about. There, see, I am now officially better than Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly!)

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