(S10E10) I accidentally went through last weeks entire recap without a single mention of Lauren going straight Ginsu on her thumb.
I figured I shouldn't make the same mistake two weeks in a row so decided to intro with Anya's faceplant on a brick street..
We heard the requisite record play scratch immediately after she fell. We got Anya's diary room explanation of how it went down (literally). And we got to watch one girl out of five turn around and help Anya pry her mandible from the ground.
There, I covered it. It was a rather uneventful faceplant as far as faceplants go, but it was interesting to see that only Kat turned around to see if Anya was alright. I'm not sure if the other girls didn't see her or just didn't care. Seeing that we're talking about Fatima, Dominique, Whitney, and Lauren I tend to think it was the latter.
Before we go any further, I think I need to point something out.
This is me last year during a recent trip doing my best douchebag impersonation at the Mouth of Truth in Rome.
Here's Fatimanique visiting the same spot! Cycle 10 was probably filmed pretty close to the time I was in the country. Had I had some inkling that my two mortal enemies would visit the same touristy attraction, by Jupiter's beard, I swear I would have slathered that mouth with as much Ebola virus as I could casually get my hands on.
Would that not have been the ultimate way to ensure that these two garden gnomes didn't win cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model?
Aside from the fact that I would have had to kill these two and countless innocent bystanders, it probably would have gone down as the single coolest thing a person has ever done to alter the outcome of a meaningless reality television show. I could shoot myself for not having better foresight.
Anyhow, the girls were thrilled to see their Roman digs, and I don't blame them. There house has to be the most lavish living arrangement I've seen during any cycle of the show. I mean, there's a friggin' pool and an atrium inside of their quarters. It was a sight to behold and someplace I could completely see myself living if I was a billionaire.
The girls didn't get to stay at the pad long as they were whisked away the next morning to a competition where they made their best effort to Impress an Italian designer with their Italian style.
And here are the girls all fancied up:
After last week and this weeks selections, I'm starting to wonder what the heck is wrong with Whitney. Did she pick the plastic Smurf outfit from last week? Did she pick the travesty that she's wearing above (which she said she'd probably wear in everyday life)? All the girls look relatively good in the designs they have on, but Whitney sticks out like a bandaged thumb with those giant fur covered cuffs. Maybe it's just me.
The highlight of the night for me came when Gai Mattiolo was giving critiques of the models and there respective model walks. He said, and I quote, "Dominique es very ah natural. She know how to present dress, but she ah doesn't look fresh." Couldn't have said it better myself Gai, and I've tried several times this season.
Scratch that. The real highlight came a few minutes later when Lauren performed her model walk...er...model stagger. Someone please get this girl some Dramamine because there is clearly something off with her equilibrium.
Seriously, we're 10 episodes into the season, and still model staggering along like she just knocked out a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Again, I love the girl, but I'm baffled that she's still in this thing.
Surprisingly, the silent assassin won the competition again this week and won a gown designed by Gai. I say surprisingly because I was sure that Kat performed the best tonight, not to mention that she's the best looking girl left in the bunch.
I'm kind of bummed that for tonight's CoverGirl commercial they're going to be speaking in Italian. I'm mostly disappointed because all cycle long I've been eager to see how Anya and her jacked up accent would perform when reciting a script. I figured I'd have no clue who did well and who did poorly.
Wrong! I can tell you who did bad. It was Lauren. It was almost as if she popped a bottle of Vicodin right before downing the 12 pack of Pabst I mentioned earlier. She staggered, she was mousy and disoriented, and she made faces (like the gem above). Basically, she looked like she'd rather be set on fire than be participating in an Italian CoverGirl commercial shoot. She's done, finito, completo. I don't see how she can make it any further after a performance like this.
Fatima did great (grumble, grumble), Anya did well, Dominique did decently, Kataryzna did mediocre, and I have no effing clue what Whitney was doing but it felt fake as the extensions in her hair.
The order of the photos:
Okay, before that I have to revise my favorite moment of the night one more time. 
It's about the only time it's happened all season, but Miss J made me laugh with this after viewing Lauren's horrible commercial. "Can I pull off four strips today," and the fake bandage on his/her thumb were also quality bits. It's about time he/she made me laugh this season and three times in a row no less. Where was this episodes 1-9?
Fatima
Kataryzna
Anya
Dominique
This left Whitney and Lauren. Do I even need to say who went home? Looking over Lauren's body of work during the exit it's evident she takes a brilliant still. Unfortunately, as Tyra said, "A CoverGirl has got to talk." They also have to walk and Lauren didn't really have either of these skills perfected. I think the judges made the right decision, even if it left Fatima and Dominique in the running.
I kid you not people, if Fat or Dom win this thing I'm never watching this show again. NEVER!
The Dharma Initiative wants you - VIDEO - Comic-Con Report
Forget the Knight Rider movie, say the series creators - TCA Report
Giveaway Monday: TV Funhouse
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
4-24-2008 @ 9:57AM
Erin said...
I have watched every single cycle of ATNM, and I can honestly say that Anya has to be my favorite of all cycles put together. I think she's hilarious and she comes off genuine, even with the wierd accent.
And I'm not even trying to be mean when I say this, but I'm always astounded by how manly and scary Dominique is. Her personality makes it even worse. Awful...just awful.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 10:18AM
Netra said...
When Ms. Jay held up that sign I fell completely out laughing. It was priceless.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 10:19AM
Michael said...
Anya's just cruising now, isn't she?
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 10:21AM
I miss my stars! said...
'Unfortunately, as Tyra said, "A CoverGirl has got to talk." '
Umm, they waived that requirement for Jaslene.
Reply
4-27-2008 @ 3:35PM
EasterBuffy said...
Oh, thank you for that comment. It brought joy to my morning!
4-24-2008 @ 10:25AM
Crazy T said...
Ok, a couple of comments...Fatima did great? How? She has that weird mouth thing she does which looks like a bulldog underbite. Dominique could not look more like a man than she did yesterday. And the best for last...as much as I hate Fat and Dom I must admit I was so over Lauren I was rooting for them to trump her. What was her problem? Why did she even go on the show?? She never seemed to want to be there, or act like she was enjoying anything. The fact she got this far was crazy. I actually changed the station when she was on.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 11:31AM
khia213 said...
I don't understand the Fatima hate. She's beautiful and no more hateful than the others.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 12:06PM
cdawg said...
I don't hate Fatima as much anymore. She did do well on the commercial.
But I think Kat was the best all around this episode. I mean, how can she not be awesome, she's a Roslyn girl who went to Cornell... (ok well that's just my personal opinion).
Anya, or anyways as Rich at Fourfour calls her, was on point all episode. She really is the most genuine girl to ever be on the show. She has no agenda. She has not a mean bone in her body. She was the only one to check on Fats when she wasn't feeling good. She's a DOLL. And she does have a personality too, even though it's "dumb blond." But I am really really warming up to her.
Still Kat for the win (crosses fingers).
And Whitney too, just because it's about time Tyra stopped being a hypocrite and let a plus size win the thing...
I didn't find Whitney as fake as the judges do. She's just overacting. Not the same.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 1:40PM
Mimi said...
I think it was high time for Lauren to go home. Her attitude was pretty crappy and she seemed to give up once they got to Rome.
I was fairly disappointed with Whitney. I think she feels a little bit like an underdog and tries to overplay her beauty to keep up with the other girls. It comes off terrible fake. I wish she would realize that she is great as she is and doesn't have to put on an act. As for the plus size thing - isn't she skinnier than Tyra???
Aside from scary Dom and mean ol' Fat, I have to say how sick of Tyra I am. I actually considered this past episode how much better the series would be if she was no longer in it. I can remember waaaaaaaaaay back in the beginning when Tyra wanted to be the girls' friend and to build them up. What the hell happened to that girl? I think the real Tyra is coming out now and she is a mega bitch. I wish the chicks didn't scream everytime they see her because that just adds fuel to Tyra's fire - her ego fire!
Reply
5-04-2008 @ 10:29PM
Amber said...
Don't get me wrong, I love Tyra....but she has seemed soooo pissed off in a couple of these episodes, like she doesn't even want to be there! She just looks angry sometimes, and sounds angry...I miss when she would go spend time with them, and talk to them...I think it really helps the girls when she does that, instead of just being this formidable person who makes or breaks them.
4-24-2008 @ 1:41PM
Mimi said...
Totally agree - he/she was hilarious - the thumb thing made me laugh too!
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 2:38PM
laura said...
I loved when Kat tried to correct Tyra on her name (only natural) and tyra messed it up again and than said "whatever" and dismissed it, I am sure tyra would get mad if i pronounced her shoe-in salieshas name wrong on national tv.
I knew lauren was out on this one, she just didnt care enough, her commercial was painful. I knew it when she said she would have GONE HOME if they were in the states and had to do a commercial like that, way to care
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 4:03PM
boggiol said...
See I think Whitney's commercial was totally covergirl. Fake smile and everything, if only they had cut it like they usually do with the overexposure and quick cuts and soft blurr stuff they do to make it all airbrushed and mystical. seriously! Check out some of the previous covergirl comercials they have done. Like the cycle Jade was in or even the aussie one.
I think Dom was dissed again by the judges later on in the ep to. Didn't missJay say something about still thinking she was a man? I may be confused.
Anyways. Enjoyed this ep, except for the fact that their comercial shoot ended just over halfway through the ep leaving WAY TOO MUCH TIME for Tyra and her monkeys to act the fools and force us to watch.
Plus, I took Italian all year at my University and I did not understand a single word any of the girls said. And while I understood her, Tyra's pronunciation when she was reading off the little sheet saying one would go home made me laugh out loud it was that terrible.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 6:02PM
Steven said...
Alright, so I checked this show out for the first (and last) time.
Tyra is such a stuck up, arrogant idiot. She just had to mention that several times "This event was world famous, and I WALKED IT FOUR TIMES." Who freaking cares? I understand it's her show, but really, no one's watching the show for her. What a moron.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 6:35PM
Bach said...
I was kinda glad Dominique didn't get eliminated earlier. That CoverGirl commercial was priceless.
And I was not one bit surprised when I saw the new Tyra Mail was Tyra's face as the Mona Lisa.
Reply
4-24-2008 @ 7:05PM
Orangecrush said...
For the love of God, could some one please feed Fatima. Her clavicles scare me. Anya is skinny too, but she's not scary. I love her because she brought Fatima food.
Reply
4-25-2008 @ 9:56AM
rick cokely said...
I think we should start calling Ayna "Janice" after that Muppet singer in "Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem". I swear they talk exactly alike! "Like yaaaaaa, I fell on mah face and it was like so saaaad maaaaan."
Reply
4-25-2008 @ 3:17PM
ABT said...
Again - you've got to write the recap after the show. Take notes, but don't type the recap as you're watching. It's too disjointed and contradictory.
Fatima impressed me this week. She was amazing. Katarzyna was funny, and way to take direction (I mean that sincerely). Anya was sweet and that might help her get to the end. Loved that Mr. Jay called Dominique "a brother" in judging.
The final two and the result were obvious. I predicted this week would be Lauren's turn and still think that Whitney will go next week, though it could be Dominique. Those two will be the bottom two, leaving Anya, Katarzyna and Fatima. I probably already stated this prediction (and it's no revelation as we're down to 5), but Anya & Katarzyna are the final two.
Reply
4-27-2008 @ 1:28AM
Christina said...
Was I the only one that noticed a little tension between Tyra & Paulina during judging? When they were talking about Whitney's commercial at the beginning of the judging Paulina said that Whitney was fake and Tyra jumped up and disagreed. I thought that was pretty interesting. Paulina didn't back down and stood up to Tyra. Tyra is looking like an argumentative beyotch more than usual.
Reply
4-27-2008 @ 3:31PM
EasterBuffy said...
I loved me some Lauren. Girl was funny , fearless (at least outside of panel) and provided some needed diversion throughout her time. Granted, it was either going to be the first fake CG commercial or the go-sees abroad that would be her undoing, but, by her own admission, she was surprised that she got as far as she did; maybe Tyra was keeping her around to make an example of her at panel. As far as people slamming her for giving up or whining about being in Italy, you try being sequestered with a bunch of screaming women all day long. I would have wanted to ditch them and go on the sightseeing tour by myself too. Fatima's commercial gave me the creeps, Whitney's - WTF?!, and outside of Katarzyna, it seemed like nobody, Lauren included, really tried very hard to pull it off. For the director to say that Fatima was a "goddess," really annoyed me no end. Man, if he only knew...
Good blogging. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself about not spreading the ebola virus throughout Rome. Apparently your mojo was enough to send Fatima to a sick bed - it just wasn't strong enough to send her home.
Reply