(S04E04) "It's not rocket scientist to make pasta." - Craig
One night in the mid-80s when I was working at a pizza restaurant, I grabbed an empty pizza pan so I can make room on the counter for another pizza and I realized it was red hot. I think my first clue was when it started to burn. It was so hot that as I tried to throw the pan down I couldn't, because it was stuck to my hand for a few seconds. I had to spend the entire night with my left hand in a bucket of ice and my right hand making drinks for the waitresses. Turns out the incident gave me an easy night of work but it hurt like hell.
I thought of that tonight when Vanessa got burned by the pan. Her injury was a lot worse than mine, considering she had skin falling off and had to go to the hospital. But the person in the most pain tonight was probably Chef Gordon Ramsay.
Before this week's challenge and service begins, Ramsay has a few words for the men, who lost last week, and the words were:
- "Shit night!"
- "Punk!" (to Ben)
- "Useless!" (to everyone)
The guys smoke and complain and are worried about the next day, but Ramsay isn't through with this day yet: he orders everyone to come back downstairs to clean the kitchen at 12:35am. Corey decides she doesn't really want to work that much and goes upstairs to sleep. I'm sure this will endear her to the girls even more (though I wonder what really happened and if this sequence was edited).
The next day Ramsay informs the troops that he's doing a first for Hell's Kitchen: family night! Which means menu items like pasta and chicken wings and burgers. Now, trained chefs can't screw that up, can they? You know it's not going to go well when Rosann brags that she's Italian and can cook pasta. She even says "Fuggedaboutit!," which makes you want her to lose. The challenge this week is to see who can make the most (and the best) pasta. Bad pasta won't be accepted when they weight it on the scale (Ramsay has high standards). The guys...how can I put this delicately? They work together like that old saying, like a monkey trying to f**k a football on a wet lawn. They end up breaking the pasta maker at one point, and Matt stands there with his arms extended, waiting for the pasta to be draped on his arms, only he stands there the whole 20 minutes like a buffoon. In short, the girls win (of course) and get to go to Santa Monica Pier. In a hummer limo. Jen goes around saying "free at last, free at last!" Yeah, I think Martin Luther King once had a dream...about going on a reality cooking show.
Meanwhile, Ben has to shovel pony shit.
The restaurant opens, with a funny bit where Ramsay tries to get Jean-Philippe to take off his tie for the more casual family night. JP (as Ramsay calls him), refuses. Ramsay calls him a "donut." They should really make a spinoff show about JP's life. I think I'd watch that. Anyway, the guests come into the restaurant and the contestants act like...well, the way they've acted the other nights. They can't get stuff out on time, they undercook the onion rings, they screw up the burgers, they serve a pasta dish with meatballs instead of clams, and Matt tries to kill all the kids by serving them uncooked chicken wings. I think these guys would have trouble at the Burger King drive-thru window. Just another night in Hell's Kitchen. Except this week Vanessa burns her hand and has to be rushed to the hospital.
But even one person down, the girls still finish their service first and win. They then go over to help the guys, who oddly celebrate a little early, which really ticks off Ramsay. The chef even starts to insult Ben, who takes it as a compliment and then is embarrassed when Ramsay finishes his thought and tells him he sucks (my word, not Ramsay's).
Ramsay picks Bobby as the best guy (best of the worst) and Bobby chooses Craig and Matt. And they were terrible, but Ramsay says there's one more person who has to step forward for elimination and "that person knows who he is." It's Ben, of course. The three men give their reasons for why they should stay, and I swear these are the reasons:
- Ben: "I'll give 100%."
- Matt: "I'll give 125%."
- Craig: "I don't know percentages."
Poor Craig. Turns out it is "rocket scientist" to make pasta. For screwing up this easy service and not even answering Ramsay the whole night when he was asking when food was going to be done, Craig is sent home.
Next week: everyone yells at each other!
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1. Ugh, so glad to see Craig go. I about died of laughter when he didnt know percentages. Huh?! Wow!
I was very surprised to see Vanessa on next week's show. She mentioned she was gonna see a plastic surgeon, so I guess until that happens shes still sticking around? Wow..I give that girl credit for hanging in there. In the previews it looks like shes struggling.
Posted at 2:14PM on Apr 23rd 2008 by Danielle