TVSquad

"George Walker Bush: Still President": President Bush recently paid a visit to Eastern Europe to try and recruit some new buddies for NATO... and his fight in Afghanistan. Brian Williams' endorsement of the "'Chess' Kiddin'!" set made up for the cheesiness of that mini-commercial. Senior Political Analyst John Oliver stopped by to share how annoyed top NATO brass feel about certain countries refusing to send troops to Iraq. Of course, the best part was Vice Marshal Jock Stirrup's name and the ridiculous list of Britain's fallen soldiers that followed. I cannot remember the last time I cracked up so badly over a Daily Show segment.

It started off as a chuckle, but when Jon laughed so hard that he began wheezing a little bit, I really lost it. I suggest Comedy Central take advantage of John's awesomeness and immediately release a CD of him reading the NYC-area phone book. Bonus if the name "Vaginafoot" is included. Just because I love the list so much, I shall not only include the video, but transcribe the list just so that I can always refer to it in case I want to tattoo it on my face sometime in the near future.

In memorium... Algernon Bottomside, Percival P. Puckernubbin, Wing Commander Basil Morningwood. Remington Snatch. Cecil Hardboner. Lt. Colonel Buntington Cornhole. Jeffrey Incestishire. Captain Orifice Schwartz. Lead Seaman Huffington Nobgobbler. Alistair Vaginafoot ("Ali" to his many, many friends). Lord Byron Farthammer. Penisdiffle Wimplecrap. Private First Class Grundel McBallsonface.



"Obama Watch": Fox News Sunday is very, very bitter because Barack Obama has been leaving Chris Wallace out of his fun with Tyra, Ellen and the ladies from The View. And where in the hell did "Jason Jones's Hibernating Bear Handjob Report" come from? I guess I shouldn't poke too much fun, because The Colbert Report started off as a spoof spin-off. Come 2009, Hibernating Bear Handjob Report will be Comedy Central's hottest show.

The night's guest was George Clooney, star, writer, director, and producer of the new film Leatherheads. Not that there was ever any doubt, but George Clooney is too cool for school. I'm not exactly a hardcore fan of his, as I am only slightly familiar with his career, but it's obvious that the man is well-aware of how loved he is, just from the way he carries himself. It sort of makes me want to punch him in the face, but... I can't! Why? Because he's George Clooney, that's why. Anyway, Mr. Clooney didn't really do a particularly good job of convincing me to go see Leatherheads, despite his charming conversation skills. I'm surprised no panties were flung from the audience.

Moment of Zen: Camp Dracula is not a rejected Goosebumps title nor is it an incredibly gay vampire musical (that's called Lestat).

By the way, I'm almost done writing up my TDS adventure from Monday, so look for that some time in the next few days! Don't you want to know what sort of rice pudding I ate while waiting to see Jon?