Yesterday's "news" that Jay Leno would apologize for his insensitive (and, quite frankly, bizarre) remarks to Ryan Phillipe got me thinking: is apologizing the best tactic to take when you've said something stupid on air?There certainly seems to be a double standard: guys like Charles Barkley or Donald Trump can seemingly say whatever they please, while "nice guys" like Jay Leno are constantly being taken to task for (relatively) benign transgressions. I've always wondered why that was the case, but didn't occur to me until today what the difference was -- Barkley and Trump never apologize for their insensitivity. In fact, they glory in it.
When Imus made his nappy-headed blunder, Howard Stern's on-air counsel was to not apologize. He said that an apology was an admission of guilt; that Imus should simply say four hours of radio a day is a long time to fill and sometimes a joke misfires.
The result? He was fired.
Now, I'm not going to argue whether the phrase is innocuous or not (that's been done to death). I would like to consider, however, whether or not Howard's advice to his old nemesis is worthwhile. Does an apology make things worse, even if the people are demanding one? Is it better just to shrug and say, "Well those are the eggs we break when we're trying to make a comedy omelet?"
We live in an age where every single blooper, blunder, and boner is instantly transmitted to every person on the planet. The result of this has been instant, expected apologies. I put "news" in quotes earlier because we all knew the second the clip of Leno asking Phillippe to make his "gay face" hit the interwebs that Leno would be making a "I'm sorry if anyone took offense to my blah blah blah" statement.
And, even though I knew it was coming, and even though I'd probably do the same thing if I were Leno, I was still annoyed to see the apology.
Could it be that the public respects a self-assured jerk more than a people-pleasing ninny?
I put the question to you, our handsome and esteemed readers (see, I am a people-pleasing ninny). I ask that you don't debate what Leno actually said -- the original post is hosting a lively and entertaining discussion on that subject -- but rather the efficacy of the apology. Is a celebrity better off just ignoring the angry letters following an ill-advised joke or is an apology the best course of action?
(By the way, I know that the pun-based title of this article is misleading and, possibly, a bit offensive. I'm not going to apologize for it, though, because I have integrity! That is, of course, unless the consensus is that apologizing is the best way to handle an offensive remark. In that case, I'll be going on Oprah to apologize for my use of the word "boner" and announce that I'll be going into rehab.)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
4-03-2008 @ 11:13AM
Dave said...
No need to apologize for the "offensiveness" of the pun-base title, though you may want to lend some consideration to those of us who read this entire post waiting for the story about the person who accidentally got aroused on national TV, only to be (somewhat) disappointed by the lack of actual boner.
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4-03-2008 @ 11:17AM
Hank said...
I always find it best not to mention it, and pretend it never happened. Then,. if a guy mentions it to you, call him gay for noticing. If a girl mentions it, ask her if she'd like a closer look.
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4-03-2008 @ 11:18AM
Hank said...
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist driving a truck through there.
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4-03-2008 @ 11:35AM
chgosaint said...
You said "boner" hehe...
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4-03-2008 @ 11:38AM
KateGee said...
I was hoping this was going to be about Jean-Claude Van Damme. :(
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4-03-2008 @ 2:54PM
Thomas said...
Based on the fines for a nipple, I think they'd be taken off the air and there'd be nothing they could do.
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4-03-2008 @ 12:16PM
GL said...
Never apologize for a boner. It's natural.
Leno is a boob.
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4-03-2008 @ 12:34PM
JLTorrente said...
The only possible apology related to a boner is when you need one and it doesn't happen.
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4-03-2008 @ 12:54PM
Europa said...
All of you just totally cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh. (I need it in this office.)
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4-03-2008 @ 2:51PM
Karen said...
Comments on this post are HILLARIOUS! :)
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4-03-2008 @ 7:58PM
burgerbat said...
I think it's time we stop apologizing for everything. I most certainly agree with Howard Stern. It's the tabloids, like TMZ, that encourage this kind of "can you believe this!" mentality...and then they set their claws in, dousing the fire with gas. Society is conditioned to apologize, call a press conference, go to rehab, do PSA's, all because every group has some media-watch organization that sends out press-releases everytime something related to their cause hits the intertubes.
Have you heard about how The Advocate is now going after Letterman for calling the pregnant transgender man an "androgynous freak show" on his Top 10 last night? Now come on! It's a man having a baby. I'm going to have to agree with David Letterman should he choose not to apologize. I mean, what part did they get wrong? Other than the fact that it's really just another female having a baby?
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4-03-2008 @ 8:45PM
pumpkinhead said...
Worse than an admission of guilt, an apology for a relatively minor transgression, especially one done in the name of comedy, destroys the pandering boob's credibility, because we all know damn well that the trangressor is apologizing under pressure and not out of a genuine sense of regret, and that the transgressor is really thinking, "come on you morons, grow the F up and get a life."
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4-03-2008 @ 9:24PM
A.S said...
If a person apologizes for an offensive remark and the network/producers does NOT fire them, it will reflect badly on the entire network. In the public eye, if the network doesn't fire him/her, they're silently agreeing with what the person said.
There are just some things you should think twice about saying on a television show.
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4-04-2008 @ 12:51PM
the_0ne said...
I'm not understanding this split in things that ARE allowed to be joked about and things that ARE NOT allowed to be joked about. Is this absurd or what? This guy's entire monologue is mostly meant to criticize either a person or a group of people. It's comedy. That's it. You don't like it, switch the freaken channel.
Why are certain groups off limits? If the language he used was to incite violence to this person or group of people (for example the Alec Baldwin calling for people to stone Henry Hyde's family, I think on the Letterman show), I can understand being upset. That was ludicrous, but Jay made a joke. And it wasn't very funny at that.
Chris Rock "busts" on white people all the time. So does Eddie Murphy. I'm white, does it hurt me. Hell no. I sit and laugh along with the rest of the black, hispanic, white, green, blue, gay, heterosexual, (name your ethnicity/gender role here) people.
People that have time to be upset about this, need a job, or perhaps a life.
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