TVSquad

"Indecision 2008: Monsters of Nostalgia Tour": John McCain has been trying to re-introduce himself to America by hopping on a bus for a book tour across the country. Despite the inherent allure of an old guy telling stories about his past, Jon attempted to help out the Senator by adding a little pizazz to the tour. Apparently, bottled razzmatazz is one part screaming Rob Riggle and two parts exploding graphics. Not many people covered McCain's morning speeches, but the Early Show did get a little nostalgic with McCain's high school yearbook. I couldn't help but chuckle when Jon accidentally said "Law & Order: SUV". I mean, you know those desperate Law & Order folks have considered doing some sort of automobile-based spin-off to plague what little airwaves they have yet to touch.

"The McCain Bio Tour": Jon rounded up some correspondents to cover some of the hottest stops on McCain's tour. Senior Biographical Commentator Jason Jones reported from Annapolis, where McCain spent a good portion of his life being old. Senior Personal History Correspondent Samantha Bee covered McCain's time in Gettysburg, where he served water to Lincoln and was old. Senior Life-Telling Man Rob Riggle, wearing his best mammoth skins, reported from the Lascaux caves, where McCain was -- that's right -- very, very old. I think this may be the first time in ages that Sam has made an appearance on the show without mentioning her pregnancy. Right on.



With gas prices screwing over the entire nation, people like Jon have had to rely more on public transportation and rat chariots. The recent oil price hearings have allowed the House of Representatives to give the oil CEOs a good scolding and to work their worst metaphors. A fierce tongue-lashing, indeed. Senior Petrol Correspondent John Oliver reported "live" from the pumps. I thought it was a bit strange for him to do a tiny pre-taped segment like this, but as it turned out, he was busy over at The Colbert Report, making a split-second appearance as Stephen Colbert unpacked an English suitcase. It was pointless but absolutely wonderful.

The night's guest was William Safire, promoting Safire's New Political Dictionary. Safire talked about changes in the political lexicon, like the introduction of "waterboarding" the public's vocabulary. This was a great interview, especially when one considers that it was just a discussion about a glossary. How about those fun facts about the presidential candidates' sneaky word choices, eh? Impress your friends at your next cocktail party when you whip out "bird dog minute". And Safire was the one who came up with Agnew's "nattering nabobs of negativism"! Alliteration with get you everywhere, my friends.



Moment of Zen: John McCain vs. the youth.