A few weeks ago, I posted the list of things that only happen on TV. You wrote really great comments which triggered me to write a post about the things you, the TV Squad readers, think only happen on TV. What I didn't expect then was the amount of replies this second article would get. You provided some fantastic and funny items to add to the list. So here we go with part two of the things that TV Squad readers think only happen on TV.
Shopping, gifts and Christmas
- Ever notice how no one ever unwraps a gift? They just lift off the pre-wrapped and bowed lid off the box. - Ravin
- The gifts are always wrapped as if professional wrappers had wrapped them! - Isabelle Carreau
- If a movie or TV show happens on Christmas, there is always tons of snow and it snows on Christmas Day. - Dawn
- Anytime someone has a bag of groceries you will always see a loaf of French bread sticking out of the bag. - Mike
- In a bar, people just ask for and get "a beer". Have you ever been to a bar? There are more kinds of beer than you can drink! - mamashake
- Not only do the tires screech on wet streets, they also screech on unpaved dirt-roads. - Nicolas Graf
- In 24, you can get anywhere within the Los Angeles city limits in 30 minutes. - Dev
- Cars ALWAYS blow up after they get in a wreck or roll down a hill. And no one, except the hero survives a car wreck. - kim akins
- Children are always happily off playing in their own rooms, never annoying their parents. - Dawn
- And if the adults suddenly need to go out, then the children will be fine there by themselves, no sitter mentioned. - Argus
- In sitcoms, in-laws are always dreaded, annoying people. - ayawi
- People can fall head-over-heels in love with someone that tried killing them an hour ago. - ayawi
- Clothes are never worn twice. - tcheema
- All women can run in 4" heels. - Cubbie
- No one ever gets calls from telemarketers! - Cubbie
- All bedrooms have a special lighting system installed so that, when the main light is turned off, a soft spotlight automatically comes on and shines directly on the bed and its occupants. - pumpkinhead
- People always turn on the TV at the exact moment their news story is on. - Mike
- When sitting in the kitchen guests always come through the unlocked back door, which happens to open into, you guessed it, the kitchen. But when the same people are sitting in the den, those same guests come in through the front door. - Gary
- Aliens all speak English (although usually with fake British accents). - Metroid Prime
- And when aliens speak in their own language they do so in the worst grammar possible, as if their mother was an online translator. - Rafita
- Anything typed on a computer requires one's fingers to fly in all directions at 120 wpm, even if you're just typing the date. - Jen
- When someone is using the computer they start doing rapid keyboarding and they can create various effects from graphic design to moving spy satellites all from rapidly pushing random keys on the keyboard. - Michael
- My favorite is the 'unlimited-zoom' and the accompanying 'boop-boop-boop' sound effects on shows where the police need to zoom in on grainy surveillance video and sharpen the features of the criminals in the act. Wish my copy of Photoshop could pull out details like that, it would make my life a lot easier. - chucklehead
- A Palm Treo is capable of being sent ANY piece of data, including streaming infrared from satellites. - Glynnjamin
- On crime/cop shows, DNA tests and toxicology reports can be done in a half hour. - tcheema
Doctor Who panel - Comic-Con Report
NBC's Kings panel - Comic-Con Report
The Dharma Initiative wants you - VIDEO - Comic-Con Report
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
3-24-2008 @ 3:14PM
Alli said...
A person you clumsily run into and drop books or spill coffee on will either be your future best friend or the love of your life.
Reply
3-24-2008 @ 3:16PM
JJ Forde said...
Regarding the comment by mike in Rooms and furniture
"People always turn on the TV at the exact moment their news story is on. - Mike"
One of my favorite arrested development episodes makes fun of this exact fact when the DA call Michael in in the last or second to last episode when Gob i stuck in Iraq. Hillarious
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3-24-2008 @ 3:25PM
LC said...
Police always fail to make a trace with mere seconds left on the call.
TV characters never get morning breath. Lovers are always ready for a passionate kiss first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.
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3-24-2008 @ 3:31PM
Thomas said...
Except for Stacey on "Gavin and Stacey" who asked if she had morning breath and was advised to inward talk if she did.
3-24-2008 @ 3:36PM
Greg said...
Some of these are kind of like complaining that "there's no background music to reflect the mood of the scene in real life!"
It's dramatic license, people.
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3-24-2008 @ 3:40PM
Carebear said...
Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet.
When needing to drive off in a vehicle that is not the character's own car, the keys will be conveniently placed on the visor overhead.
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3-24-2008 @ 3:57PM
kip (SSBB:1805-1984-4852) said...
An addendum to the typing one:
When using a computer keyboard, the actor can take one hand away (say, to drink a delicious product placed in the scene) while continuing to type with the other hand.
Another: one hit will knock a person out cold, unless they are a good guy in a fight scene.
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3-24-2008 @ 4:28PM
Cincinnati Mike said...
And a punch to the jaw sounds like a board
snapping in two!
3-24-2008 @ 4:03PM
kip (SSBB:1805-1984-4852) said...
Oh how about another one, nearly all women are ridiculously hot.
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3-24-2008 @ 4:09PM
michael said...
that soft glowing spotlight is also in the car when driving at night. either that or the dashboard lights are really bright and positioned to hit your face perfectly.
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3-24-2008 @ 4:18PM
xnifex said...
lol i was watching weeds the other day & was hoping another one of these posts would show up!
when drinking a beverage, no matter how much you have left, you always hear the slurping sound as if you are just about done with your drink.
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3-24-2008 @ 4:35PM
leo said...
L shaped sheets on the bed which leave mans torso bear :)
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3-24-2008 @ 4:43PM
Sarah said...
always on tv, during fights, whomever throws the punch doesnt feel the pain in their hand. have you ever tried punching someone? it practically breaks all the bones in your hand!
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3-24-2008 @ 4:52PM
Nikki Quinn said...
I've actually had a baguette sticking out of my grocery bag for two Saturday shopping trips straight. (Been making a lot of crostini for dinner guests.) I commented to the baker at my farmer's market, "Now I look like a character in a TV show who just went shopping!"
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3-24-2008 @ 5:04PM
Morjana Coffman said...
1) In a drama series, hardly anyone ever has a cold, the flu, or any other common ailment -- unless it's pertinent to the plot. If the actor has a cold in real life, no one mentions that the character has a cold.
2) Women can go hours without taking a bathroom break. Interesting.
3) No uses a dial up connection to the internet on TV. There are still vast areas in the US that don't have access to the internet OTHER than dial up.
4) CSI technicians (unless they are also sworn police officers), don't interrogate suspects and they don't carry weapons.
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3-24-2008 @ 5:35PM
cookie said...
1. even if the character actually puts toothpaste on the toothbrush, they never get that foamy toothpaste mouth.
2. when being interviewed by detectives on any incarnation of Law & Order, the interviewees ALWAYS keep going with whatever activity they were engaged in when the police started talking to them. Store clerk keeps stocking shelves, secretary keeps filing papers, delivery guy keeps loading his truck. As if it's every day they're questioned by detectives.
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3-24-2008 @ 5:38PM
Zarquon said...
Removing the bullet will "cure" any gunshot wound.
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3-24-2008 @ 6:16PM
nattyff said...
- In a foot persuit the bad guy and the cop can jump even from 2nd or 3rd floor and keep runing like they are made of rubber (specially colby from numbers!!!).
- Everything can be explain through math, even human interaction (guess who show i'm talking about!!! :), i like it anyway)
- People live in great apartments, even if they have a lousy job.
- Cientist can reconstruct a remarcable acurate face from a scull (love bones anyway too).
Maybe later i will think of more, :)
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3-24-2008 @ 6:20PM
Sarah said...
ever notice that whenever a character is driving a car, even if they are driving straight down the road, they are still jerking the steering wheel left and right as if they were weaving through cones 5 feet apart?
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3-24-2008 @ 6:21PM
Lori said...
Who can forget pregnant women who immediately deliver a baby only moments after feeling that sudden first contraction?
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