TVSquad

(S09E10) "I'm between a Josh and a hard place." - Allison

When I was young, there was a show called Peyton Place -- a soap opera which, at the time, seemed to be the epitome of all soap operas past, present, and future. It worked its way into the daily vocabulary for any sort of high drama situation.

Why am I talking about Peyton Place in an episode review of Big Brother 9? I mention it because it has dawned on me that Big Brother 9 is Peyton Place zapped to the present day while on meth filled with exaggerated whacko characters and all the drama you can stand (or not). Those Peyton Place people had it easy!

Now, we know that Joshuah was really upset about the lesbian lie thing with Allison. While Sheila was a part of it, she seems to be exonerated and it's all about Allison as far as Joshuah is concerned. But during the recap moments we found out that the other reason Joshuah is ticked at her is due to the vote change last week. They had it all set that Amanda and Alex would go, then Sharon wanted it changed to Matt and Natalie ... so be it! But then Allison pushed and finangled the others to switch the vote back to an Alex/Amanda ouster. Thus, Joshua and Sharon's grand plan went kaput. Who's fault was that? Allison's, of course!

I personally don't know quite how to take his issue with the lesbian lie, but what upsets me about Joshuah's insults to Allison are the looks-based trashing. I'm not a fan of Allison, for sure. When I think of it, I think I'm a fan of the two guinea pigs and no one else in the house. But I don't think she's an unattractive woman on a physical basis. Sometimes she's a bit reminiscent of Mary Tyler Moore for me. I've never been keen on insulting anyone's looks, but I'm just not getting his insults here. Hopefully he only trashes not unattractive peoples' looks and is mum if someone is actually homely. I just don't know. If he's not acting and is seriously trashing her, I think he should stick to her actions, not her looks.

Matt, but of course, isn't too pleased he's on the block once again. He practically told Adam that he's floating through never being nominated. Matt knows that he's not the target, but he also understands he almost went home last week. So he's worried.

But is it all about him? Nope! He has his loving partner, Natalie. This girl has some real issues. In watching her chase him, try to get him to accept a massage, try to grasp any sort of connection she can have with him ... well, it's just kind of sad. He's made it obvious that he isn't interested in any sort of relationship with her, yet she thinks that it's some sort of fate that they're destined to be soulmates. Yikes!

Tonight we found out that Matt doesn't think Natalie is too bright (after all, he runs things in their partnership) and she's certainly not his type. He doesn't like the fake boobs, the thongs, and he's interested in a more conservative kind of girl. I think he has some valid points there. Natalie's kind of clingy and overly sexual.

It seemed like the Matt Show tonight as they kept showing us Diary Room segments on how he would play different people different ways to succeed in the game. The problem with that is that some people see right through him even though Natalie would lick his feet after he's trudged through a cow pasture if she thought it would make him like her.

Allison is still trying to sway folks over to save her although she knows she's facing the Joshua Train of Destruction. Here we find out that Natalie probably isn't too smart. She and Allison were in the sauna as Allison campaigned. When Allison talked about how she and Ryan saved Natalie and Matt last week, the look on Natalie's face was one of a dumbstruck epiphany. It's like the light bulb was struggling to light. Oh, my. She really should let Matt be involved in these talks -- it doesn't take much to manipulate her at all.

When they picked for the random couple to play in the power of veto with the HOH couple and the two nominated couples, the pick was Adam and Sheila. I couldn't help but think they all thought ... "Well, it's still only three couples playing." They chose James to host the comp.

"Cupid is as Cupid Does" was the name of the power of veto comp. It seemed a bit mismatched in name and why the heck was James wearing a toga and an ivy crown? Am I misunderstanding my Cupid mythology? Was Julius Caesar somewhere in there?

The women had to wear wings and be hoisted on pulleys by their man running back and forth retrieving puzzle pieces. The women were raised to a puzzle board which eventually became obvious that the puzzle was the veto symbol. Once the puzzle was solved, the (here comes the Cupid bit) the male would deliver an arrow to the woman partner and she'd stab it in a heart. Oh, I could come up with a much more suitable variation of this, but with the knife in the back ... but that's for another time.

Adam and Sheila were just about useless. She started it out claiming she was scared of heights. But the show had already laid down the rules and there's no way she could power up enough strength to keep hoisting and lowering Adam! Sheesh, Sheila!

After some really tight competition between Mattalie and Rallison, Natalie got the last piece of the puzzle in first and won it all for her Mattie! Oh, joy! "I did it for you, Mattie!" Gag. Allison looked like she could kill before she put on a canned smile and congratulated them. Sharon told us how disappointed she was (in a Diary Room session) as she really wants Matt and Natalie out of the house.

What? A bone of contention betwixt Joshuah and Sharon? She's been backing his anti-Allison movement although trying to mellow him a bit. But she'd like to see Matt and Natalie out before Ryan and Allison? Very interesting, eh?

Matt and Natalie happy-danced in the HOH room and Matt continued to work his ways with the others. For Joshuah, he plays to the gay side -- dancing about and landing a big kiss on his lips. With Natalie he plays the "I understand but let's be friends" card. With Allison, he becomes the should to cry on. With Ryan, he becomes the bro boy.

With Sharon, he becomes the sexy playboy. She sees right through him although she plays along. She told Joshuah the moment they were alone. Heh, Mattie. You're not all that, I guess! Not everyone is a Natalie.

Before the veto meeting went down, the houseguests got a mysterious note left in the kitchen while they were all outside the house. It told them (with sound effects) that a siren would go off and they had to gather their important stuff and meet in the living room immediately upon hearing it. It could happen at any time and they should expect the unexpected.

That sent most of the houseguests into a worried tizzy. Allison and Ryan, knowing their goose is most likely cooked in the house, were the only ones who have any sort of eager anticipation. Everyone else is worried that the plans will change, the veto might change, the couple on the block might get saved ... you name it, they're worried about it. For Ryan and Allison, it could be a welcome reprieve of some sort.

In the veto meeting, Ryan told Matt and Natalie they earned the POV and they should use it to save themselves. Neither (even not bright Natalie) is a Marcellas, so they did exactly that -- they saved themselves. In their place, Adam and Sheila were put on the block "in the best interest of the house." Allison remains the target, though.

I'm still in the position of not cheering anyone on this season. Just when I think someone is okay, they do something stupid. I guess I think Sharon might be the best player, but I just can't bring myself to hope she wins it all. I really think I want the guinea pigs (Britney and K-Fed) to take home the half-million and live high on the hog -- little guinea pig furniture, little guinea pig flat-screen TVs, little guinea pig fur coats. Yeah, go guinea pigs!