TVSquad

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life, and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump I have a look at my favorite quotations from this week's episodes of Flavor of Love 3 and Rock of Love 2. I call it Epigrams, A Discussion. Enjoy Skank-lovers!

I think one of my favorite things about watching Rock of Love 2 and Flavor of Love 3 is the amazing quotations that Bret, Flav and the resident skanks come up with. I decided to dedicate this week's SSW to their pithy one-liners, their wise maxims, their facetious wisecracks.

Okay enough snark for now. But before we get to the quotations let's go over what we learned from Rock of Love 2 this week. 1. Bret doesn't like answering questions. 2. Meghan is mischievous. (When is it going to come out that this chick was on Beauty and the Geek?) 3. I still have no idea who Jessica is. 4. Speaking of still here, Seabiscuit got her pass Sunday night. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Viva la mullet!

We should also go over what we learned from Flavor of Love 3. 1. Flav likes twins. 2. Flav likes his name spelled correctly. 3. Shy quite possibly has ninja training. 4. Rayna is a douche.

And now, let's hear from Bret, Flav and the skanks :

"I know Inna will like break someone in half."--Catherine on Inna being a Ukranian love bus
(Boy, does Seabiscuit know how to pick a mudbowl team. The irony here is that it was little Smurfette Daisy who scored all the touchdowns while Inna just slid around the field. The bigger they are the harder they fall.)

"I'll be honest with you there is nothing more spiritual than watching hot chicks play mud bowl." --Bret on what turns him on
(I love when Bret says he'll be honest with us. It's always something like this that follows that statement. Here, I'll try one on for size. 'I'll be honest with you there's nothing I find more intellectually stimulating then brightly-colored thongs.' Did I sound like him?)

"Get out of my way skanks. Daisy's coming through." --The small-but-scrappy Daisy as she scores her last touchdown
(This my dear readers was the quote of the night, in my humble opinion. Daisy's battlecry to her fellow skanks as she gallops down the mudbowl field and straight into Bret's heart. Nice.)

"It's obvious to me that Bret is really attracted to Daisy." --Peyton being a Captain Obvious
(Thanks, Peyton. What exactly told you that? Was it the part when they slept together? Cause for me it was that part.)

"Are you attracted to me?" --Peyton to Bret in his room
(How many of you wanted his response to be different? He's too diplomatic sometimes. 'I'll be honest with you. You're nasty raccoon eyes and nagging are NOT the biggest turn on. Aye-Ohh!' Whoa. I did it again. It's like I'm channeling him now.)

"You can call me Shy-shein cause I'm gonna kick some ass." --Shy after cutting strips into her nurse's outfit
"They call me Shy-shein because I heal your heart, your soul, and I knockout the PAIN [does a karate kick]." --Shy later on in the show
(I think Shy might be favorite FOL3 skank. Clearly, she is both a poet and warrior.)

"You eat, you sleep, and you breath Rayna. So I think that's hot."--Rayna after pretending that her perfume was stolen
(Huh? So pretending that your perfume was stolen was the best thing you could think of to get camera time and make yourself relevant? Rayna seems like a moronic version of New York. I think we can count on her for some gems every week. In fact, she makes me feel much better about myself so I hope Flav keeps her around to provide my Monday night confidence boost.)

"Throwing that dart was very theraputical." --Flav on throwing a dart at a picture of New York
(Most times, I hate it when people add the wrong suffix to a word. I think it's ridiculous. But, somehow, a rapper-turned-reality-icon who wears a Viking hat and an enormous clock around his neck can pull it off. Maybe the ridiculousness cancels itself out or something.)

And here are some that are so good I don't even have a snide remark to accompany them:

"Daisy has gone she-wild" --Bret on Daisy's football prowess

"Catherine is annoying to me. She reminds me of Peggy Bundy and who the hell wants to date Peggy Bundy?" --Daisy on Seabiscuit

"They will be Bret. Bondage girls. Double "O" Rock!" --Bret on his skanks

"If you're ever in the hospital, I recommend that you get twin nurses cause it makes you feel twice as better!" --Flav on Thing 1 and Thing 2

If you don't see your favorite skank in the poll, please feel free to leave her name in the comments. Alternatively, if your favorite skank is a guy from I Love New York or "smank" if you will, please leave his name in the comments.