TVSquad

(S09E05) Have you been watching any of the commercials for Big Brother 9 lately? My goodness, they're all about sex and the hotness of the hamsters. Now, I know that sex tends to be a big draw, but tonight's episode (unlike last night's episode) really didn't have much sex to it all. Oh, lots of controversy, but little sex. I'm not saying it's not happening in the house -- just not happening tonight on the show.

But if you're not here just for the sex and how marvelously hot looking the houseguests are, read on past the jump.

It all started off innocently enough. You know, the standard recap of the previous events. After all, it's only been going on two weeks. We might forget that Ryan and Jen came in the house as a secret couple with a preexisting relationship.

Then Jen, in a Diary Room segment, told us "It's no more Miss Nice Jen." Okay, perhaps my opinions are tainted because I watch the feeds. But, was there ever really a nice Jen? I don't recall seeing one, do you? She's pretty, yes. But she never came across as particularly nice to me.

But first (©Julie Chen) -- there was the big brouhaha. You see, there are a lot of "not nice" people in the house this season. Take Amanda. (Please!) Er, never mind my plea. Amanda is annoying and and seems to be one of those gals who have so many issues she could be a magazine. She's a gossip, she loves to be the center of attention, she's all over Parker when Alex is supposed to be her partner, and she has a voice only a helium-inhaler could love.

While Amanda's spreading of twisted rumors and innuendo started the fight, I think Chelsia and especially Joshuah went way too far in rebuttal. True, Amanda should not have been telling others whom James and Chelsia will put on the block if they win Head of House. After all, they never said it!

It's one thing for Joshuah to say she has a horse face. Juvenile, but that's par for the course with this group. But when Joshuah said to give her a halo, then Chelsia suggested a noose ... it was too far at that time. For Joshuah to continue and say "just like her father" was totally out of bounds. As much as I don't like Amanda, that was so intentionally cruel that I cringed. What is wrong with these people?

Of course, Amanda later seemed more upset about the "horse face" comment, so her priorities seem to be a bit off. But, still ...! Joshuah's plan to turn the whole house against Amanda backfired and put more of a spotlight on him. You don't mess with people's dead family members!


After all that winds down, it's back to dear Jen. Determined to stay in the house to the point where she'll throw her real-life boyfriend Ryan under the proverbial reality show bus, she tells Sheila point blank and literally, "Ryan is a racist." She claims that she once had a black boyfriend and Ryan hated it. And, of course, now she's teamed up with Parker.

I can't really blame Sheila for wanting to tell Ryan. Thankfully, Jen also made comments to the other girls about Ryan being racist and the dating a black guy thing. Hopefully, once this is all over, Ryan will watch the show and see that she did indeed say it and said it just to turn the house against him. True love, eh? She lied straight to his face. I know a half-million is strong incentive, but her actions speak volumes. That is the kind of thing which could affect his life outside of the house. Shame on her!

So, after all of this drama has unfolded, we're finally to the live segment of the show. As live as a ChenBot can be, that is. I liked her velvet suit tonight, but gosh that scarf looked a bit too tightly wrapped around her neck. Even though this cast is more misfit than the last (and the ones before that), they always get all excited to see Julie Chen, downright giddy. I don't get that. I saw Julie Chen once on the street in Manhattan. I felt no giddiness. Perhaps it's some sort of secret power she holds over the Big Brother hamsters which normal humans can't grasp.

Adam and Sheila said they're getting along fine after their initial hate. Jen said she had no regrets going on the block for Ryan. Say what? She's a martyr now? Geez! Ryan tells Julie he loves Jen with all his heart. Wake up, Ryan, she's trying to throw you under the damn bus! Sheesh!

When Julie had her little talk with Amanda and Alex, Amanda told her all is forgiven in respect to the brouhaha. I guess she's a better woman than I am because that's something that would always be in the back of my mind. Don't get me wrong, please. I don't like much of anything about Amanda. But she took a mature route with something very hurtful and I have to give her kudos.

In the pre-voting Diary Room segments (obviously taped), they tried to make it sound like the vote could be a tie. With the couples deal, if a couple doesn't agree on the vote, they themselves could get evicted. I'm not sure how that works as they didn't give us any real details. Would it be a penalty nomination for the next week? Would they be thrown on the block immediately? The latter wouldn't have worked tonight because the votes were not done live. (Grr.)

They tried to make it look like Joshuah and Sharon would vote out Jen and Parker, Matt and Natalie would vote out Ryan and Allison, Chelsia and James would vote out Jen and Parker, and Adam and Sheila were split. Adam wanted to vote out Ryan and Allison while Sheila wanted to vote out Jen and Parker.


But we'll never know who voted for whom because they didn't even show us the actual voting! What's up with that? I think we can assume that Sheila turned Adam to her side and that it was Matt/Natalie which were the one vote for Parker and Jen to stay, but we didn't see it. Jen and Parker are out 3-1. Ryan and Allison remain to face eviction another day.

Parker just looked disgusted through the whole thing. Jen got all teary. I think Parker might have let loose with an expletive as he he left because there was certainly was a bleep! In the Julie interview, Parker looked almost disinterested in the whole thing. I feel sorry for the guy. He certainly had some faults, but had he been on during a normal (as normal as this show gets) season, he probably wouldn't have been so doomed so quickly. At least he got the $5,000 for being part of the first power couple and out of the house so he can go on with his life. And Jen will going on believing that's she's all that and oh-so-hot.

I enjoyed the Head of House competition, "Big Brother Democracy." But I have to chuckle about some of their choices. How it's supposed to go is the couples answer a question based on what they think the majority opinion of the house will be. Simple enough, right?

After the first question was asked, they found that what they voted on they'd get. It's sort of a beware what you wish for kind of thing with rewards or consequences.

• Given a choice of going 72 hours without hot food or hot water, they chose hot water. They won't have hot water for 72 hours.
• Given a choice of the women wearing bathing suits or their soulmate's favorite outfits, they chose bathing suits. Well, that was a no-brainer.
• Given a choice to lose eating utensils or drinking cups for a week, they chose to lose drinking cups.
• Given a choice between a margarita party or an outdoor grill, they chose the margarita party (knowing they had no drinking cups).
• Given a choice of the men serving breakfast in bed or the women cooking dinner for the next week, they chose the women cooking dinner.
  
• Given the choice of giving up their workout equipment or the washing machine for two weeks, they chose the washing machine. (Why? Why? Can't they just do calisthenics for a few weeks?)

James and Chelsia, having all the opinions in accord with the majority opinion, are the new Head of House couple. This should be an interesting week ahead.

I'm still very irked about the couples aspect of this season. I think the whole thing was thrown together hoping for the sex ratings and it's really not fair to the houseguests on the show. Hopefully since they'll dismantle the enforced couples sooner rather than later.