Battlestar Galactica has spoiled us all.I say that because, since the excellent "re-imagining" of the craptastic '70s scifi series hit the air, we expect the remakes of our favorite shows to be darker, more layered, and more complicated than the originals. But sometimes, going darker doesn't always work: take a look at the failure pile that passed for the Bionic Woman remake as the best example of that. So, when a "25 years later" return of Knight Rider was announced, I half wondered if they were going to go the BSG route and make it all serious. But I equally wondered if they would go the other way and make it a modern camp classic, sort of the way the original, Hoff-injected series was.
Turns out, the answer was "none of the above." Mostly the movie / backdoor pilot that aired last night was dull, with a few fleeting moments of camp thrown in. But it never made me clamor for the show to return as a series.
The main plot of the movie involves some generic "evildoing" organization that wants the codes to a military remote control system. The person who has the codes just happens to be Charles Graiman (Bruce Davison), who invented the Knight Industries Two Thousand 25 years ago, and has created a sequel, the Knight Industries Three Thousand (because "two thousand" no longer sounds futuristic). When the generic evildoers threaten Graiman, KITT is dispatched to fetch his daughter Sarah (Deanna Russo), a Stanford professor and PhD candidate, and down-and-out race driver Mike Traceur (Justin Bruening), who's has more than a passing relation to the previous KITT's driver, Michael Knight.
Really, you don't need to know any more about the plot than that, other than the fact that FBI agent Carrie Ruvai (Sydney Tamiia Poitier) is also on the Knight "team," to give the sheen of government approval to the Knight project. For some reason, Ruvai is introduced to us waking up next to some random woman she met the night before, but the lesbian angle of her story is never explored after that. Are we going to return to this if the series gets picked up? Or was this introduced to show us that we're in 2008 and not in 1983 anymore, and that random lesbian one night stands are acceptable on TV?
There are other plot threads that are introduced then dropped: Traceur's buddy Dylan is threatened by the thugs who want Traceur to pay off his debt, but we never see him again until he shows up at the end of the movie, completely unharmed. And we really don't know why Traceur's mother had to hide out to raise Mike after Michael Knight got her pregnant. Again, maybe some of this stuff will come home to roost if the series is picked up, but it's too many loose ends for a supposedly closed-ended TV-movie.
Most of the funny moments, as you'd expect, came from the car. KITT was voiced by Val Kilmer, who stepped in and re-recorded all of the car's lines at the last minute when Will Arnett had to back out of the project. It's too bad; Arnett's combination of faux-seriousness and deep voice would have done well in this role. Kilmer, as he has throughout his career, takes the role a bit too seriously, removing whatever personality KITT could have had.
Still, the car's use of visual aids -- something the '80s, William Daniels-voiced KITT couldn't do -- were pretty funny. For instance, when KITT asks Mike about why his high-school relationship with Sarah ended so abruptly, one of the questions he asks is, "Are you a... homo-sexual?" and flashed pictures of the rainbow flag and the Gay Pride Parade. So that wasn't bad. And this version of KITT's main effect, the use of nanotechnology to repair itself and change its appearance, was executed very well. Unfortunately, the car doesn't have the same Turbo Boost (complete with compressed air cartridge falling away from the car on every shot) that the old KITT had. I miss Turbo Boost.
A couple of more items:
- No mention of Devon? It's as if he never existed.
- The chemistry between Mike and Sarah was nonexistent. She's a Stanford PhD candidate, and she's still smarting over the fact that Mike didn't call her after their post-high-school-graduation summer romance? Jeez, get over it, woman!
- Could Ford's sponsorship of the show be any more obvious? Besides the close-ups of the Cobra logo on the Mustang that played KITT, we also got to see the car morph into multiple colors and available ground effect packages, all of which I'm sure are available at a Ford dealer near you! Oh, and all the cars on the road, especially in the big chase scene, were either Fords or Volvos (which is owned by Ford).
- Speaking of Ford, the ads where KITT's "jealous" of a Ford Focus made me want to throw a shoe at my TV. I bet Kilmer didn't realize he'd have to voice those silly commercials when he signed up for the gig.
- Was it really necessary for the bad guys to kill the kid who worked at the motel? I wonder if this was another way to show that it was 2008 and not 1983, since no one seemed to die on the original series, no matter what kind of calamity happened to them.
- Bruening has about as much range as a 40-year-old shortstop. When the bad guys shot his mother, and she said "I lovvveee youu....gah!" before she died, he barely moved.
- We knew that Hasselhoff wasn't going to show up until the very end. I will say, that's the best acting I've seen him do in a while, cheeseburger-eating home videos included. As my boss Keith said, "I wonder how much he got just to stand there?" I wish he would have come out with the leather jacket and fro-let (combination of a 'fro and a mullet) that he had in the original series.
Anyway, if the show does come back -- and if the ratings are big for this movie, I'm damn skippy sure it will -- executive producers Doug Liman and David Bartis need to make some changes. Maybe tell Bruening to emote more. Or tell Kilmer to not be so damned serious. But they can keep the car. I like the car. As long as it doesn't fall in love with that Ford Focus.
(By the way, our friends at Autoblog live-blogged the movie; the result is here.)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
2-18-2008 @ 10:43AM
Steve said...
quite possibly the worst tv movie ever especially if it doesnt turn into a series.
that FBI agent was a complete waste of space.
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2-18-2008 @ 10:56AM
John said...
I must agree with the writer who said this might have been the worst TV movie of all time. This pitiful rehash had next to no plot, atrocious acting, horrendously boring writing and directing, and was obviously created as a two hour Ford commercial. Not to mention that the rip off scenes from "Vegas" were dreadful.
Is it possible to insert more commercials in a television show? And could we possibly have seen more shots of that Cobra?
A note to Ford and NBC. If you want to insult your viewers to the point that they absoutely will not watch the series, and will refuse to buy your products, you have reached your goal. I could not even force myself to watch the final half hour, and I certainly won't waste my time on the series.
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2-18-2008 @ 10:57AM
Usama said...
I was really looking forward to this, and the car didn't disappoint so much (other than GM hating fans of Will Arnett... I want him back on the project!), but the show itself was meh indeed.
Those loose, unexplored story lines? I can let them pass as a blatant "hey you want to know more? hope we get picked up!" but still some things were handled horribly or just for, as you said, "hey we're in 2008 and things are different now!" effect. So dumb.
Remember Bonnie? She was a mechanic and a computer expert rolled up into one. Also, the sexual tension (? or at least the prospect of one) between that character and Michael was good (and I was like 8 when I watched this, so yeah even I noticed it). Here? We've got his friend the mechanic ("you don't deserve this car!") and then his pseud-girlfriend the computer expert, the damn FBI (useless) and then the old guy (also useless, a Devon replacement?). Too many people in the cast if you ask me.
I'm sorry to say I didn't think the acting was very good either. But actually that may have more to do with the campy writing of some of the dialogue.
Overall if it gets picked up a show I'll give it another shot, but I don't expect much. Hey NBC, why not let some old fans who are also big fans of the new Battlestar Galactica get a shot at writing this thing? The movie/pilot I mean.. I'm not good at coming up with new ideas on a weekly basis.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:04AM
Zabrina said...
Can we talk about how they killed the theme song? And the acting? The story was horrible, the thread with the FBI agent....how blah was she?
I would only watch the series if (this is a big if since I spent all of the movie yelling at the TV) they did some serious re-tooling and got the actors some lessons.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:06AM
mike m said...
Hey Joel,
Yeah. I have to agree with ya'. Another annoying thing was all the ad breaks. At one point in the "movie" they would come back for 5 minutes, after just going to commercial for 4, and take another 5 minutes for more commercials. It was almost as if they meant it to be an hour and a half with commercials and figured they could capitalize on the ratings with ads.
The "Everyone drives Ford" thing was annoying as well. Especially since GM outsold Ford last year, and most years. I actually think, if the show gets picked up and ends up being "pretty good", it's to GM's detriment for not picking it up, but at the same time, with how craptastic this movie was, maybe they saw the writing on the wall?
I also wasn't a fan of the look of the black KITT mustang. I just don't think it's KITT. KITT should be more sporty and less muscle, and I don't like the look of the grill when in KITT mode.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:52AM
Moi said...
I thought it was a good movie. I enjoyed how they played off of the past. I like the story line and framework they laid for a new series. I completely disagree with the above comments.
I really like the story potential possibilities. Seeing the KITT(two thousand's) parts laying around. One only hopes KITT (2000) makes a referennce. The only thing I dont like is the use of a C130 instead of the knight truck trailer.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:27AM
Rogphi said...
Moi, I completely agree with you, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I hope they make a series! I didnt mind the Ford tie ins either I thought they were cute!
I mean Imagine a car company donating a car to a show and then not wanting to advertise their product.
*-* Shocker!!!*-*
2-19-2008 @ 11:27AM
Hank said...
I hated the 'in-character' commercials, with Mike driving the Focus and KITT being jealous. That really turned the whole thing into a two-hour Ford commercial.
That said, of course I suspended disbelief for the majority of the show; but the only survivor of the wreck at the end is daddy? And he's walking away?
2-18-2008 @ 11:13AM
metz said...
was this a bellasario production? I ask because it had about the same production values as the a-team. Horrible acting surpassed only by the even worse plot. Either this was written while the writers were on strike or it was written by guys who should be dropped from the union. Worse than any sci-fi movie of the week ever made. It was quite amazingly bad.
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2-18-2008 @ 1:55PM
mike m said...
Just a quick aside, bellisario wasn't in charge of the A-Team, which I actually quite like. He was in charge of Magnum, JAG, Quantum Leap, and the current NCIS. You might be thinking of Cannell, who was the producer of such shows as the A-Team, Hawaii-Five-O, Rockford Files, and Hunter. Though I must admit I still don't get your point as all of the shows I just mentioned were pretty decent.
2-18-2008 @ 2:41PM
Ed Venture said...
If I remember correctly Bellisario was responsible for Airwolf too. Another good 80's show.
2-18-2008 @ 3:29PM
mike m said...
lol. well, yeah, I kinda purposefully left that one out! ;-) for obvious reasons. lol, but the point is still valid that most of Bellisario's work has been stellar. Although, I must admit, Magnum wasn't my favorite.
2-18-2008 @ 4:14PM
metz said...
I think of Bellasario and Cannell as the same. Guys who wrote/produced shows that were light on the script, had some action, quickly settled into formula and reused the same FX every week to keep costs down. The shows defined part of a TV era, drew in viewers but never reached for much beyond mediocrity.
They have the occasional stand out episode ( a few Magnums were great, "Did you see the sun Rise today Ivan?") but were mostly comfortable old shoes that people slipped into every week. Sort of how I think of Monk today.
It was mostly the production values of KR that made me think of Bellesario/Cannell. I don't think either of those guys would have let the script from KR get past their offices.
2-18-2008 @ 11:14AM
Thomas said...
Bionic Woman didn't fail because it was dark, it failed because it was crap.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:19AM
Keith McDuffee said...
I was telling Joel that I thought they could have possibly dragged this movie out of the ashes if, in the end, it turned out that Michael Knight was the unseen evil force behind stealing the technology. As if driving the old KITT for years turned him into some sort of Gollum-like evil slug, like KITT is some sort of One Ring of power that he can't have enough of. If they made that reveal in the end, I would have said the series had some hope.
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2-18-2008 @ 11:26AM
John said...
I probably should not beat a show when it is down, particularly because I've already commented, but I forgot to mention the pathetic choice of villains.
First, we had the generic evil corporation, which was a transparent rip off of Blackwater. And despite the fact that most people don't think too highly of Blackwater, I doubt that anyone thinks they so mercenary that they would sell technology to America's enemies. I suppose the series will include an evil vice president who direct Black River's evil deeds for his own benefit. Probably a vice president who actually shoots his detractors on hunting trips.
Then we had the generic evil English guy, the generic evil black guy and the generic evil Asian guy. It is a sure thing the evil Asian guy was supposed to be an expert in martial arts, to give Mike an opportunity to show how skilled he was at hand to hand combat. And all of our generic bad guys were heavily armed with automatic weapons to kidnap a fellow who was alone, unarmed, and who's brain was so valuable that they could not kill him. What in the world were those guns for?
There must have been a few cliches this show did not use, but for the life of me I cannot figure out what they could have been.
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2-18-2008 @ 3:36PM
Brent McKee said...
Your forgot the generic evil nerd (complete with glasses) who was able to hack into KITT's systems with just a few minutes notice.
2-18-2008 @ 11:39AM
sitruc said...
The first two posts say it all. I was over at the liveblog on Autoblog(yeah Autoblog, not TVSquad) last night. The movie was horrible. I couldn't come up with any reason to finish watching the movie last night, yet I did. The acting was actually worse than the original show. As bad as Bruening was, I thought Russo's acting was the worst. The Hoff's performance where he was just standing there before commercial was the best performance I've ever seen him do. Then he had to ruin it after the commercial break within the 2-hour long Ford commercial and talk. Somehow the acting in that one scene was worse than his Knight Rider and Baywatch days. The script was horrible. I didn't have lofty expectations for the show even with all of the hype.
I've said it a few times now, but the problem with bringing back shows like Bionic Woman and Knight Rider is the direction of the shows. Shows from the past can be watched now and be silly, but modern shows have a problem with balancing silly and serious. Bionic Woman never knew which direction it was going and now it is cancelled. Knight Rider was all over the place. If picked up, I'd try to watch an episode if not bored to sleep by the dull scenes or missing scenes because I'm laughing at logic or dialog.
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2-18-2008 @ 12:12PM
chadwick said...
Congrads to the Bionic Woman series...it's not the worse remake series ever anymore.
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2-18-2008 @ 12:03PM
Michael said...
I could not disagree with you guys more. This thing was a total throwback to 80s action television, right down to the cliffhangers at commercial breaks.
I really enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing the series that I sincerely hopes comes from the pilot.
I'm not exactly sure why the reviewer here wants answers to every single question in the pilot - I mean, you have seen a pilot before right? It's supposed to set things up a series, and I'm fairly confident that had there not been a writer's strike this thing would have moved right into series, and not just been a tv-movie (although I am aware of the franchise's history with tv-movies).
I'll agree that the show wasn't the most intellectually demanding program in history, but it was great escapist fun, and I can't wait to see more.
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