TVSquad

Are you like me? Were you too old to audition for American Idol when it first started out. And then when they upped the age limit, were you by then one year older than the new age limit (razzum-frazzum-sunsubitchez!)? Well, fear not, because now you can audition all year round.

The folks behind American Idol have inked a deal to build an Idol-themed attraction at the Hollywood Studios portion of Disney World. Keith Hindle, Executive Vice-President of FremantleMedia (an Idol producer) said "Disney's new attraction perfectly captures what we at American Idol feel is the heart and soul of this brand: real people getting a shot to make their dream a reality." The producers also stressed that winning the theme park "Idol" does not lead to contestants appearing on the real show. It also doesn't net you any money, fame or a record deal of any kind. In fact, the only dream it makes a reality for you is your dream of giving more money to Idol producers and Disney.

The attraction will allow regular schmucks to "audition" at video kiosks, where the best will be selected by "producers" to get makeovers and perform in front of the "judges." The highest scorers will be able to perform at an end-of-day "grand finale." This means you get a whole new competition every day.

Need more American Idol? Check out AOL TV's coverage -- including the best and worst Idol auditions and the roundup of Idol's biggest losers. Also: are you the ultimate Idol fan? Prove it: take Part II of their ultimate Idol quiz!

If they truly want to capture the Idol experience live and in person, I should be able to go up to the attraction and see live and recorded video of all the jackasses who go into the video kiosks and make complete and total fools of themselves. I should also be able to watch them perform in front of the judges. Or is it only the "experience" of being on the show, so no onlookers are allowed.

How much do you want to bet, though, that Idol producers will have the attraction "producers" and "judges" tracking any really impressive auditioners and sending tape on through to the real producers? That way they can encourage those people to go to one of the audition cities for the real show. It's like a year-round cattle call for talent that they can sift through at their leisure for upcoming installations of the parent show, with America none the wiser. They can even find hilariously bad auditioners and encourage them to go to a real show audition (I find cash always works ... or Chocodiles.).

In all honesty, it sounds like a pretty lame attraction to me. I imagine it would be filled with tons of terrible singers, or people pretending to be terrible singers because they think it's funny or somebody double dog dared them to do it. People who really think they can sing wouldn't go to a theme park attraction, especially if it's being made absolutely clear that doing so will not improve their chances of getting on the real show or get them any real chance at stardom.

Maybe talent agents will sit in the crowds each night, though, hoping to see a miracle. Who knows, this attraction could turn out as huge a hit as the show and the next Carrie Underwood will be found at a theme park. Can't be much stranger than finding the first one on a reality show.