(S01E03) So we started with laughable auditions and followed up with mediocre performances last week but now Bruno and Carrie Ann have picked their teams. Was last night different? Did Dance War do a 180 degree turn around? Not so much. Tonight was...well, it just plain stunk. I still feel like I'm watching a freaking high school musical.
Here's an idea for ABC's Dance War! How about spending some real money on the show? Perhaps get a sound guy who actually knows how to work microphones. Perhaps get some real costumes. And perhaps get some real talent!
As I mentioned already, the sound on this show is terrible. All I hear is screaming teenagers. Ugh! And poor Chris's mic went out completely during his solo. (But maybe we're the fortunate ones.)
Other problems with this show? I just don't get why we need Bruno or Carrie Ann. They're not hard on the contestants. Their coaching is all for the cameras. (Carrie Ann having Mariel call her grandmother was pathetic. Yeah, like Carrie Ann cares about you.) And they don't choreograph anything! Why do we need them, I say!
Let's talk a little more about that performance of Chris Brown's "Run It" Usher's "Yeah" where Chris's singing was nowhere to be found. think they should stick to older songs or maybe even showtunes. These performers canNOT pull off Chris Brown (or Usher for that matter) Usher. Their rendition of S.O.S. wasn't too great either. The concept and some of the choreography (which included some martial arts moves) was interesting but the vocals were just plain terrible. And what happened to Lacey? She sounded really winded. I guess she can't dance and sing at the same time. Even Kelsey sounded better than her. However, she did hit some of the higher notes that Charity and Kelsey can only hit in their dreams.
One piece, however, was pretty good (and define "pretty good" as "my ears didn't bleed during the song and I didn't feel slightly ashamed for the performers"). Carrie Ann's team did "Call Me" and it was actually entertaining. The vocals were consistent. The choreography was fun. And the costumes were kind of cool. 
So it's been real. It's been good. But it ain't been real good so I'm done with Dance War. This has been a rough ride and by my count, I've lost five whole hours of my life to this terrible show (2 hour premiere and 2 1.5 hour episodes). Maybe someone else from the illustrious crew of bloggers here at TV Squad will pick it up but I doubt it.
I must sign off now. Adieu. I know you will miss my snarky asides, my out-and-out rants, and my massive amount of complaining about this show.
TV Squad Ten: Events from The West Wing that wouldn't really happen
The Emmy Nominations
TV 101: Do we have more TV channels than we do TV talent? 
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
1-22-2008 @ 11:42AM
ORKMommy said...
Kristin - Can't say that I blame you. This show is lame to the Nth degree! When you compared it to a high school musical, you were dead on! I don't know their names, but two of the black guys are painful to listen to and I can't stand watching that blond white guy on Bruno's team. If I had to pick a winner, it would be Carrie Ann's team. At least they didn't totally suck.
I still don't get how the voting will work. Isn't the show on for 6 weeks? What happens if both teams end up with the same number of dancers at the end? What a bad concept, bad casting, and generally a bad idea. I do feel sorry for Drew though. This tank will have to go on his resume!
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1-22-2008 @ 12:09PM
sarah said...
yes, i decided last night that i too am no longer watching this monstrosity. i feel like there is a vast difference between the two teams (Team Cabaret and Team Rent), so you leaning to one team or the other would be based on what your personal bias is. all in all, Call me was the best performance out of the six they gave us, the recap at the beginning was 30 minutes wasted, and what happened to the level of talent??
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1-22-2008 @ 1:15PM
Jonathan said...
I believe they performed Chris BRown's Run It, not "Yeah" by Usher. Pretty easy to slip up, and yet you're so hard on calling out slip ups of the show.
It is low on talent and made for grandmothers, though. There was only one good dance number, and Drew Lachey is such a boring host.
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1-22-2008 @ 1:16PM
Jonathan said...
And don't feel bad for Drew. He's the worst host ever and atleast he has something to put on his resume thanks to the show.
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1-22-2008 @ 1:47PM
Kristin Sample said...
@ jonathan: good call. It was Chris Brown's "Run It" that Chris's mic went out on. Not that I'm trying to make excuses (I should have the songs right if I'm going to critique them) but that *does* go to show just how well the show held my attention. thanks for the correction though. I'll change it.
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1-22-2008 @ 1:53PM
Susan said...
This show is awful. Couldn't hear a thing for the whole show, except screaming audience members. How lame. Why would they prompt the audience to scream thereby drowning out the singers (?!) if you can call them that. They totally lost me. I'm outta here.
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1-22-2008 @ 8:51PM
David said...
I deleted the episode 40 minutes into it, and promptly removed the series recording from my DVR. I just couldn't do it. I like Carrie Ann Inaba. I like Bruno Tonioli. I like Drew Lachey. I like live TV shows. I COULDNT STAND this show. I hated the auditions. I got through them. I hated the elimination episode. I got through it. I despised 20 minutes of recap (why are you recapping the episodes I've already seen, and for gosh sakes, why is it taking 20 minutes?!?). The competition FINALLY started and I shut it off for good after just one routine.
Bring on DWTS 6 please.
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1-23-2008 @ 3:30PM
Betch Kelly said...
Now I love me some dancin', and I dig Carrie Ann, but I do not understand this show and its suckiness. Like the previous poster, I don't get how the voting off of team members will result in a winning team. It doesn't make sense. My cat could come up with a better concept for a competition show. The thing that makes Carrie Ann and Bruno marginally entertaining on Dancing with the Stars is their critiques. There is entirely too much nice going on on this show.
It IS like a high school musical. Lame costumes, lame perfromers, lame ADULTS in charge of things.
Any above average dance school in thise country could turn out a half-dozen 12-year-olds looking sharper than these poor people.
I didn't think it was possible for a show to be worse than that "You're the One That I Want" travesty that cast the new Broadway run of "Grease," but here it is.
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1-29-2008 @ 1:43PM
Preston said...
This series is not as exciting as Dancing with the Stars. ABC needed something to fill that empty time slot until the strike ended. They need to work on the sound on the show. I noticed the technical difficulties when one group did Chris Brown's "Run It." Carrie Ann's group sounds better vocally than Bruno's group. Bruno's had the best choreography of the two. I didn't watch the audition shows because too many shows were competing in the same time slots those weeks. There are some fun moments. But as a whole this show sounds like the producers watched "High School Musical 2" 50 times, copied the dance scenes and made a show based on those moves. I can see why this is a one-time only series, because I couldn't see this lasting longer than one year. Bruno and Carrie Ann just wanted to do this for bragging rights. Half of those performers need more work on their singing, choreography and performance.
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2-01-2008 @ 2:01PM
Adlai said...
I think that some people here are missing the point of the show. Bruno and Carrie Ann chose people with raw talent, but they are the ones responsible for polishing them, and that's what they are being judged on. The performances aren't supposed to be perfect (and come on people, they have DAYS to practice, every performance we've ever seen is from people practicing for MONTHS) - but they are steadily getting better. We as the audience are supposed to judge whether Carrie Ann or Bruno is doing a better job improving their team.
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2-02-2008 @ 12:33PM
shakedatbouncedat said...
I love Dance War, I think it's the best talent show I've seen on TV. I'm at the fan club too, they have behind the scenes vids and stuff: http://dancewarfanclub.ning.com/ What I like is that all the costumes, numbers, lighting, sets, etc. are so fresh and new - it feels like they finally brought talent shows out of the 50's and into the new millennium. It also feels kinda homey because the judges are sitting on stage with everyone else, they're all in it together. I think that Carrie Ann is so far doing a much better job, what about you?
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2-03-2008 @ 1:41PM
Adlai said...
I think that Carrie Ann is doing better too, but that might just be because I like her better, and I also like her taste in music better - she chooses a lot of motown and hip-hop stuff whereas Bruno is more... well, he's more "Elton John" and she's more "Madonna". Who is your favorite of the performers? I'm into Lacey.
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2-04-2008 @ 8:49PM
shakedatbouncedat said...
I think that my favorite is Zack, he just has such a presence and I think he's star quality. I am excited about tonight because it's supposed to be a longer show, and they are going to have Taylor Swift on: http://www.cmt.com/news/articles/1580871/20080204/swift__taylor.jhtml
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2-06-2008 @ 3:23PM
dancefan08 said...
I like Team Carrie Ann too! Can you believe Bruno voted Tony off? And putting Zack in the bottom two, who was he kidding? We all knew he wasn't going to vote the most popular contestant off the show! What do you think, will his little ploy get sympathy votes next week?
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2-12-2008 @ 9:32PM
Adlai said...
I know I think it was a bad move on his part - but it worked - he won. I wonder who will win this week, I didn't think that any of the performances really stood out for me but I think TB's "Sway" was the best of them. What about you?
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