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The Golden Globes, or how to make me hate an awards show

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Nancy O'Dell and Billy BushSo Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell got promoted from commenting in the Golden Globe post-show to hosting the entire show and presenting all the awards (actually recapping the winners since apparently the Hollywood Foreign Press Association did so earlier in a press conference covered by E! and TV Guide Channel). So not only does NBC not have an awards show, but they don't even get first dibs on announcing the winners.

First of all, does Billy Bush always wear his hair like that or did he leave his roof down in the convertible with his hair wet and gelled? It looks like a slicked back mullet, and that's not a look just anyone can pull off. In fact, no one can pull off that look. But it may have actually been a better choice than the brown suit. Sadly, though, the suit and hair was the least of the problems with last night's one hour Golden Globe "extravaganza."

I don't imagine any of us were expecting much from the stripped down special, but what we got was beyond pathetic. It reminded me of a low-budget episode of Access Hollywood. The network newscasts have higher production values. And how, if we have no speeches from anyone, do we still not have time to at least show snippets of acting during the announcements of all the acting categories?

The frenetic pace meant there was no build-up or anticipation between awards. No speeches means there was no chance to absorb what won and what didn't between awards. And not only did we have to endure the inane banter between Bush and O'Dell but they occasionally shifted scenes for a minute or so to two other morons who had nothing of value to say either.

Was there no one else available to take this gig? Bush and O'Dell clearly were not familiar with these movies or television shows, nor were they remotely qualified to comment on upsets and surprise wins (of which there were some). These guys talk about celebrity gossip and tabloid crap when they host Access Hollywood (nice that The Simpsons Movie clip name-dropped their show ... coincidence?). If there's no mention of Britney's hoo-hoo or Lohan's vehicular shenanigans they're flummoxed.

O'Dell's commentary after the Best Director award was "I think this is a huge surprise. Everyone thought that the Coen brothers, No Country For Old Men, was going to win. They've won countless awards already. Who would suspect anybody else would win this one?" She turned to look at Bush, who stared at the camera for a moment, and then realizing there was dead silence and that O'Dell had said something he clearly wasn't paying attention to because he could feel his hair falling a bit on his right side, turned to her and said "Good point." He then smiled back at the camera. O'Dell says, "Mm hmm," thinks "you freaking douchebag," and continues aloud. "We're moving forward now..."

I get that they didn't expect to have to do the whole show, and I get that maybe they weren't prepared, and of course that they didn't have writers, but did NBC factor into things the fact that it appears they're idiots. Witty banter is one thing but witless blather is painful to watch and we got the latter in spades.

When the show was over, I realized I would need to go online to see the list of winners so I could truly let it soak in. They're just wasn't enough time to appreciate them. And that means this steaming pile of TV turd was a failure in every sense of the word. They should have just done an NBC News special with Brian Williams reading off the winners. Still lame, but not painfully so.

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