TVSquad

(S04E01) As one of those annoying artsy designer-types, I have been super-excited about the new season of Project Runway. The buzz among my social circles is palpable. Plus, I saw Tim Gunn at the Baltimore Book Festival and he assured the crowd that this cycle would feature the most talented bunch yet.

To quote Michael Kors, if I may, I found myself underwhelmed. Maybe it was because the challenge, to run to a tent full of lovely fabrics and make whatever the hell the designers wanted, wasn't as intense as previous first episode's. It's probably still too early to judge, so I'm going to wait for one or two more episodes before I decide how I feel about this cycle's designers.



The episode's guest judge was Monique Lhuillier. Yeah, I don't recognize her either.

Jillian: Her dress was eye-catching, but I don't know if it was because it was well-constructed or because it was bright, bright orange. Granted, the silhouette was a lot more fun that some of the other ones from the evening.

Christian: This guy is 22 years old. 22! That makes me feel horrible about myself. Anyway, his outfit was really daring and interesting, but bordered on horrifying. It's funny how that works.

Jack: I loved the choice of patterns and color. Was anyone else absolutely mesmerized by his face? His features are so angular... One could grate cheese off his cheekbones.

Kevin: Honestly, his dress was pretty bad. It was only made worse by his model. Posture, darling, posture! At least stop slouching. Someone sitting behind me actually shouted, "Oh, my God! Stop walking!" during the runway.

Chris: Ahh! Chris seems like the biggest sweetheart. His dress was beautiful, especially when one considers that he was the last person to have his pick of the fabric.

Marion: The only note that I scribbled was "Ewwwwww". I'm being nice, of course, because there were actually several more W's and then a doodle of a very sad face. I don't even know where to begin, so I won't. Instead, I will refer back to that extremely long "Ewwwwww".

Kit: Maybe the sleep deprivation is making me snippy, but Kit's dress just seemed like a really desperate attempt at being edgy. A bit like a Hot Topic manager getting a mohawk, yeah?

Steven: That was a bit boring, yeah? His creation was just like a slightly modified piece from Ann Taylor or something.

Carmen: Spectacular hair, surprisingly scary voice. Please don't tell me that I was the only one that thought of Dr. Girlfriend from The Venture Bros. Everyone around me jumped slightly in their seats when Carmen first spoke, and more than one person murmured, "Man voice." That said, Carmen's outfit was hideous. It was like a tacky CEO from the year 3000.

Sweet P: Surprisingly boring for a person who used to be in an all-girl bike gang.

Ricky: This dress was a bit boring but it fit his model so beautifully. If he had added just one or two more points of interest, I'm sure he would have made it into the top three.

Victorya: Oh, token Asian, you have let me down. That dress was ridiculous and, frankly, a bit sad. "Sacrifices for fashion", eh? Nice try. She should thank the fashion gods that she managed to scrape by this time around.

Elisa: Okay, it's settled. Elisa is the new Daniel Franco! Crazy, crazy, crazy. I hope this challenged taught her the oh-so important lesson of "always, always, always listen to Tim Gunn". Her dress made her model look like an impotent peacock. Come on. Those boots didn't do anything for her model either.

Simone (AUF'D): The colors were boring and, as Nina Garcia mentioned, the construction was terrible. I mean, even as a person that can't stitch in a straight line to save her life, I know I could have done better than Simone. Poor Simone was the first person to be booted. Again, her dress wasn't very good, but I don't think it was the worst.

Rami (WINNER): When Michael Kors critiqued that flower, I got the feeling that he was channeling his time seeing Angela's weird rosette thingies. I'm sure Kors has been haunted by those since those monstrosities first hit the runway. I think Rami's dress looked a lot better on the form and lost a certain something on the model. It made her boobs look saggy and created unnecessary droops.