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Weeds: Risk

Weeds: Risk
(S03E13) As Erin pointed out last week, worlds collided on the previous episode of Weeds, and we're still reeling from that collision. While it might not be a big enough bang to open up an Einstein-Rosen Wormhole, it was still pretty damn close. Still, with everything that's been happening on the show, it's hard not to agree with Celia's resounding "Slut!" nametag she's applied to Nancy. Nancy and her brother-in-law Andy both suffer from extremely high, and poorly handled, sex drives.

Case in point: Nancy has recently diddled with a DEA agent (now deceased), Sullivan, and ... things are hot all over again with Conrad. Plus we know how her son Silas likes to get down in the sack, so is this a genetic thing? I'd like to say no, but remember last season when Andy took Shane to the massage parlor with the happy ending? That kid was on cloud nine afterwards.

And as we all know from the annals of television history, sex always leads to problems. While I'm not sure where Nancy's dalliances with Conrad will lead, it's clear that Celia is still pretty peeved about finding Sullivan in flagrante delicto with another woman. She proceeds to smash crud out of his office with an aluminum baseball bat, while Sullivan manages to take it all in stride. "My decorator. We're doing a little remodeling," he quips to his bewildered staff.

While Celia's riding her post-smashing high, Andy's libido is likewise leading down another dangerous path. He's getting in deep with his biker babe's brother Chess, and has convinced Nancy to start buying some of his outdoor-grown stash while they're low on the milf weed. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a suburban drug dealer. Who knew it would be this rife with networking opportunities?

And just to prove that last week's big bang has landed us firmly in the Bizarro version of Weeds, you've got Heylia and Celia buddying up over a cigarette. I always figured these two would come to blows on one episode, with Heylia pretty much mopping the floor with Celia's "I'm better than you" attitude. But now it looks like they're going to become best buddies. Which in a way is perfect for Celia, because she needs someone who hates the world almost as much as she does.

To add further fodder to your need for headscratching, Nancy decides to get a U-Turn signal tattooed on her ass. That's right, her ass. Her left cheek, to be exact. Why would she do such a thing? Well, she tells Conrad it's to make her stronger. Right. Some psycho drug dealer holds you at gunpoint for the better part of two episodes, then gets himself dead in a drive-by via poor friend selection, and you want the symbol for his name on your butt? It's a bit crazy.

Speaking of crazy, Shane has really gone off the deep end. Only two episodes ago I was calling this kid the sanest one among the entire bunch, and now he's seeing (and talking) to his dead father. Yikes. This really bodes badly for him. Hopefully Nancy will realize this bout of hallucinatory visits from dad are due to her extremely poor parenting skills. I mean, the poor guy wakes up in his house to find the alarms going off and no one else around. He's been left alone time after time, and maybe it's about time he cracked. I just hope it's not for long. Plus with the way the Steelers played on Monday Night Football this week, maybe Pittsburgh ain't so bad.

Now to summarize some of the loose subplots. The giant cross that Doug stole? He handily turned it into a grow light for the plants. The biker weed deal? Gone badly, and Silas gets the crap beat out of him as a result. Andy and the biker babe? Still not scoring yet. That about does it for this week, check back next week when it looks like there is more Shane and Ghost Dad, and Nancy gets some muscle to help with her biker problems.

Why is Shane cracking up?

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