TVSquad

(S09E07) With the exception of the highly entertaining chest bumping competition that occurred between Chantal and Bianca, there wasn't a whole lot of useful information in this cycle's recap show.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not a fan of recap shows. This is especially the case when they air a measly six episodes into a season. I realize that recaps allow people who've missed the first half of a season to get up to speed in a rapid manner.

At the same time, it enables casual viewers to skip out on the first half of a season because they know they can always rely on the recap show. It also punishes us loyal viewers who watch the show religiously.

I physically groan time the cable guide points out we're at the recap point of the season. I'm willing to bet a few of you do the same.

All that said, there were still a couple of things worth mentioning over the course of the recap.

Jenah's Tooth

I didn't think it was be possible for Jenah to look any more busted up. I was wrong. The glimpse we got of her with the chipped tooth was hideous. I'm still perplexed that this bleached out, frizzy haired fraggle is capable of taking such stunning pictures.

Janet the Plumber

Apparently, Janet was a plumber in her former life. That or she's stuffed up a lot of toilets. My twisted little mind prefers the latter.

Fake Hair Flushed Down the Toilet

Speaking of stuffing up toilets, how is it Ambriel managed to flush an entire wig down a toilet, but Bianca stuffed it up letting nature take its course? The last time I checked a "number two" is much smaller in composition than a full head of hair. What's Bianca eating?

Bianca Runs Into a Door

The only way this portion of the show would have been better is if Bianca had broken completely through the door leaving a Bianca shaped silhouette in the glass like you'd see in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

The only disappointing thing about this sequence was that they didn't have any actual footage of Bianca giving vertical CPR to the sliding door. I'd have replayed it at least 75 times on my TiVo.

The Tissue Game

Heather used to watch Terminator 2 as a bedtime movie. First off, what's a bedtime movie? It sounds a lot like lazy parenting if you ask me. Secondly, Terminator friggin' 2 every night before you go to bed? Is it any wonder that Heather's a little awkward right now?

In another portion of the tissue game, we learned that Bianca is confrontational because she was bullied frequently growing up. Sounds like an excuse to be a bitch if you ask me, but to her credit she's toned it down quite a bit since those early episodes.

And that's about it. I've really got nothing else to say about the recap show except I'm glad it will be a little while until I have to see another one.

After Ebony predictably removing herself from the competition last week (which we'll talk about more next week) there are eight models remaining. Who will be America's Next Top Model?

I'm still going with my fraggle.