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Survivor China: A Chicken's a Little Bit Smarter (season premiere)

Survivor China(S15E01) I think it might take me a bit longer to warm up to this latest season of Survivor. Don't get me wrong -- I am indeed an addict. But I miss the days of the two-hour premiere. When it's all over and the first boot is at the end of an hour, I feel strangely unfulfilled.

Oh, I'm entertained. I definitely see some interesting possibilities coming from the China setting and the castaways themselves. But, after tonight's episode, I have some reservations, too.

I think the thing which nags at me the most is that it's almost as if the producers have set us up for a Ulong type situation. The tribes, Zhan Hu (Fighting Tiger) and Fei Long (Flying Dragon), weren't selected by a random pick or even a schoolyard pick. It seems to me that the Fei Long tribe has the bulk of the muscle and speed. I find it unusual that the tribes were pre-picked this season. Any guesses? Just to shake things up?

Jeff is still cute!So far, many of my predictions about the castaways are coming to fruition.

Leslie, the Christian radio host who mentioned that she's a Christian way too much in her CBS video, was the first recipient of the negative spotlight tonight. When all of the cast members were attending a Buddhist ceremony not of a religious nature, she just couldn't stay. Jeff reminded her that he said it was just a welcoming ceremony, yet she thought it was betraying her faith. She deserves an eyeroll.

Then, another one I wasn't impressed with -- Courtney -- actually gave eyerolls, lots of them as she was in the Buddhist temple for the ceremony. I don't think the show should cast anyone named Courtney anymore. The last one, the performance artist a few seasons back, was flaky. This one is rude and has the "I'm so cool and you're not" attitude.

I know that it seems that Ashley Massaro, the WWE wrestler, is a fan favorite with many men and probably some women, too. But she fizzled this episode. She was sick for more than half the time they were there. Not only that, but her right boob kept hanging out. What the heck was with that, I ask? Since I'm on a bit of a rant here, I must add that her rings on her upper lip make her look like a vampire at a quick glance. I expect her eyes to glow next.

The guys were better off then the women clothes-wise, for sure. I hope they'll do something about getting the women some kind of clothes. I really have no desire to watch Sherea in her bra and panties each challenge, do you?

Then there are the men. Mmmm ... James could be one of those underwear models, couldn't he? That guy is built! Not that I'm shallow and just into the looks, mind you. (But, wow.) I decided Chicken needed a translator as I could barely understand a word he said. I was also surprised that he took nothing upon himself in the way of making any kind of decision even when asked for one point-blank. Hey, guy, if you're going to be that iffy, just go home. Oh, wait...!

Frosti leads the wayFrosti's specialty is supposed to be bouncing off walls and such. While I thought he was good around the camp, I was a bit disappointed in his challenge effort. Of course he was against James, but I expected more from a Parkour athlete ... even though I didn't even know what a Parkour athlete was a month ago.

One person I think I called wrong in my pre-show impressions is Todd, the gay Mormon. I think he might be a lot smarter about the show than I predicted -- if he can stay quiet, he might do very well.

I wasn't overly impressed with my pre-season pick to win -- Jean Robert. I'm going to have to see what happens next week.

I thought tonight's Immunity Challenge was kind of neat. It reminded me of being in Chinatown for the Lunar New Year. They needed some firecrackers, though! It will be interesting to see how the show keeps up with Chinese-themed challenges this season. I wasn't too surprised that the stronger team won the challenge, though. Shades of Ulong, I say! And they don't have a Stephenie on the tribe unless Ashley gets her act together.

We saw very little scheming, wheeling and dealing, before Tribal Council tonight. It seemed that either Peih-Gee or Ashley were the most likely to be voted out -- the former because she was bossy and cried after the Immunity Challenge, the latter because she had been so sick. But a contingent wanted Chicken to go.

Steve Chicken MorrisSo, what does Chicken do? He pretty much sunk himself during Tribal Council ... if they could understand what he was saying, that is. He came across with an attitude forcing those with actual attitudes to roll their eyes. The vote wasn't anywhere near unanimous and didn't really show any sort of larger alliance within the group. We will never know because the show was only an hour long.

To quote Chicken as his torch was snuffed, "Dayum!"

I'll be interested to see how the tribes play out. Fei Long, in addition to being the stronger tribe physically, also have their act together building camp and studying The Art of War. Zhan Hu is more along Keystone Cops trying to set up camp in Camden, New Jersey.

Who do you want to get the boot next week on Survivor?

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