TVSquad

I saw a promo for the Scott Baio reality show where he said his 'first time' was with Erin (Joanie Loves Chachi) Morran. Color me unimpressed! Now had he have been 'Laying the Pipe' to Nicole Eggbert from Charles in Charge... then I'd be impressed.

Brigitte... I applogize for the "laying the pipe" comment... that was totally inappropriate! But it was funny!

Chris Angel just learned a new trick... how to make half your income disappear!

Thank you... I'll be here all week... try the veal.

Lastly... here comes the uncomfortable part of my commenting where I flirt unrequitedly to you... see I was talking to my Italian cousin Maria (I'm half Italian... the lower half... wink wink) and she told me girls like a guy what has a sense of humor... then she asked if I could score her any weed while she was in town but that's another story. Soooo... here's my attempt at impressing you with my sense of humor...

How many Psychiatrist does it take to change a light bulb?

Okay ya ready... just one... but the light bulb has really got to WANT to change!

C'mon Brig... I'm cute... tall... and I have a great sense of humor!

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Pamela Anderson's stunt double... You forgot:

Run bouncier!
Run slower (as in slow motion)!
Don't forget your half-board (or whatever they call those mini surf boards)!

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Eric - -

Those "half-board (mini surf boards)" are simply flotation devices attached to a strap and rope. A lifeguard uses this option (when they have this equipment) to toss the floatation device at the drowning victim so that (s)he can grab it and stay afloat while the lifeguard tows the victim to safety from a safe distance. (Former lifeguard here.)

Patrick, Patrick, Patrick - -

MORE excerpts from SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR BACHELORS:

1. Never EVER mention illicit sex in crude terms, illicit drug use, and delusional anecdotes in the same post as your flirtation to Brigitte.

You clown! What is she supposed to think about that? I feel like I'm on Mission Impossible here. I totally disavow any knowledge of (or responsibility for) your actions! :)

2. Don't EVER announce that you have a sense of humor (even if it's something that a lot of women like). Let them come to their OWN conclusions about your humor. I've come to MY own conclusion, but I don't want to scare the other posters away.

(Why am I wasting my breath... er... fingers?)

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Thanks for the clarification, Jim. I'm not a lifeguard, nor do I play one on TV. Heck, I'm more likely to be the one the lifeguards are saving. But then, I won't even go in the water unless it's bathwater temperature! ;-)

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Brigitte - -

BRAVISSIMA! Great smile at the end! We love it when you're happy! One more tip from your adoptive uncle... treat us to some more of those smiles WITHIN the clip... not just fore and aft. Your stuff is really funny; don't be afraid to show that infectious smile of yours!

Today, Miss Dale's wardrobe was provided by:
Max (Eye Bulge) Factor.
(Yes, I know the real Max Factor does makeup.)
...you bring a fresh reminder why so many men like me enjoy warm weather months! ;)

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I thoaght Pamela Anderson was here own floatation device... who knew?

Jim: Note taken on the illicit sex slash drug use wilst flirting with yonder maiden... just to clarify... I don't do drugs... my mom wont share her crack pipe... secondly... you can't disenvow me... we took a vote and elected you comment room dad... you're stuck with me!

So like...now your Brig's Uncle???
Can you do me a solid and hook me up with her?

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Okay... everybody who 'doesn't proof read their comments before clicking the send button'... please rand your hand.

*raises hand*

Okay that was... I THOUGHT Pamela Anderson was HER own floatation device. -- thank you

Also... today is Lindsey Lohan's birthday... she turns 21 today... and her boobs turn 3

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okay I give up... that was supposed to be RAISE your hand

stupid &%$#@ public education

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Patrick,........

Ah screw it,.. your not worth my time.

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Rob - -

Welcome to Romper Room with Patrick! (Oh, wait... crap, all you guys are probably too young to remember Romper Room!)

Welcome to Animal House with Patrick! Everything that Patrick didn't learn from his public education (and I'm not knocking public education) he learned from watching Animal House... over and over and over! (It's either THAT film that is his inpiration or it's Dumb and Dumber, I can't tell!)

How in the world I suddenly got voted Comment Room Dad is beyond me! Just exactly WHEN, pray tell, was this ever voted on is a mystery to me.

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Patrick - -

1. I'm glad you don't do drugs... now... prove it by your posts! :D

2. No, I'm not going to hook you up with Brigitte. In all of your fantasizing about her, do you ever manage fantasizing about the coma you'll slip into when her husband beats you into senseless oblivion? That's one train ticket I'm ripping to shreds.

3. As far as my being "like...an uncle" to Brigitte, it's a point I've hinted at previously. As an older gentleman who is fascinated by what she's accomplished and wants to see her successful and happy, the term "adoptive uncle" isn't entirely ludicrous.

(By the way, Brigitte, that's the impetus behind all my corrections and suggestions that I come up with... I'm just trying to help you excel.)

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BTW, Patrick...

(I don't know WHY I'm telling YOU this, other than you're in central PA.) I'm thinking of bringing my family to Hershey Park for the 4th. Let all of Christendom beware!

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...oh, and for all of you...

...just so you know...

Romper Room was very cool in its day! ;)

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You people are creepy.

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Brigitte, I love your salty humor! I think the best place to observe people at a Kwik-E-Mart/7-11 transformation MIGHT be the one in Santa Barbara, CA (tourists with money who think The Simpsons are a couple who own an art gallery).

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Too funny! "Run faster.. jerkier.. don't show your face!"

Hehe - "jerkier." Hilarious!

I'm definitely gonna check out the Quik-E-Mart action. Here in the City of Angels, we have 2 (two!) locations. Awesome. So, didja need anything from the Quik-E-Mart, Brigitte?

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Why can't all B and C class celebs finally submit to calling their shows "I'm desperate for a comeback so I'm going to do reality TV!!" *sigh* How vacuous do these producers think we are? I mean it's not like we'll watch what any old crap, we have standards!

*puts on The L Word"

except me of course...

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That's why I like Kathy Griffin's show title: "My Life on the D-List". At least someone in Hollywood is aware of themselves.

Great job Brigitte!

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Brigdette--
You need to start commenting on the comments from your viewers. Truly, I now make sure that I read all the comments. Jim and Patrick are a riot! Witty, interesting, and yet caring in an unusual sort of way. They have become a secondary reason to watch your vlog; the first being the way you bring us your version of the "news." Keep up the great job!

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mari - -

I just read your note above after thanking you for the kudos for your comment made in the 7/3 section. Thanks again for all your nice words... that's so very kind of you!

::: reaching into his wallet :::

Now... how much do I owe you again for asking Brigitte to respond to her fans' posts? ;)

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