TVSquad

If it weren't for public service announcements, kids everywhere would be drinking Liquid Plumber and throwing themselves in front of trains.

You know what I mean: those PSAs you watched as a kid told you how to be safe, avoid abduction, deal with bullies, eat the right foods, and seventeen ways to kill a man with a paper clip. I'd say, in most respects, TV raised you better than your parents ever could.

Anyway, here's a few old PSAs. Two come from Concerned Children's Advertisers in Canada, the last one from the American Lung Association.

This first PSA was sent to me by my pal Wild Bill. Two nightmarish puppets tell us not to put something in your mouth if you don't know what it is.

I would argue that sometimes it's the only way to know what something is. The other day I found something sticking out of my wall that might have been electrical wiring, or possible licorice. I lapsed into a coma after biting into it, so I'm hoping to go back and chew on it some more to find out what it is.

This next PSA pretends to be about safety, but it also teaches rats not to eat cheese off rat traps. Anyone who saw the movie Willard knows it's a bad idea to give rats this kind of information.

Finally, an anti-smoking message from a bunch of weird adults dressed as cats. The message, as I understand it, is to not smoke tobacco, but instead smoke pot, which should put you in the right frame of mind to listen to adults mincing about in cat costumes and speaking in rhyme.