TVSquad

"Dick Move": Ah, bringing up the ol' "Remember when Cheney shot an old guy in the face?" stuff never fails to garner laughs. Well, apparently, Cheney's got more stuff to hide. He's been trying to abolish the oversight agency, which sounds extremely fishy. And then he went on to say that the Vice President is not part of the Executive branch. That's when I realized that everything I learned in Senior year Government class was a total and complete lie. I proceeded to weep for my wasted youth.

Senior White House Correspondent John Oliver talked about exactly why Cheney is right. He is neither beast nor man, executive nor legislative. Honestly, a small part of me actually got kind of freaked out by the folk story version of Cheney... Or maybe it was just that picture of baby Cheney.

"Heart Attack": Jason Jones filed a report on a man who wanted to give one of his Purple Hearts to George W. Bush because of emotional wounds. Uh-huh. This was one of the better Jones reports, I think. That "Teasing Hurts!" poster alone was brilliant. I want that.

The night's guest was Steve Vogel, author of The Pentagon: A History. My, my, this interview was just filled to the brim with fun facts, no? For example, the Pentagon was grounded September 11, 1941. Want another? Of course you do. The Pentagon's five-sided design was designed specifically to fit a certain area, but they changed the location without allotting enough time to modify the design. It was an informative interview, obviously. Very "history lesson"-y.

Moment of Zen: FOX News teaches us that if an anti-gay, anti-Muslim dude wins, BUY CHEVRON.