TVSquad

"Clusterfuck to the White House": Hillary Clinton has a new campaign song, and she revealed it in a Sopranos parody. Y'know, the joke would make a lot more sense if the song was Journey's "Don't Stop Believing", but it's actually Celine Dion's "You and I". And did Olivia Newton-John's lawyers really contact The Daily Show about airing that goofy "Let's Get Hillary" snippet? If so, that's ridiculous, and I'm never watching Xanadu again.

"May or May Not": New York's Mayor Bloomberg said bye-bye to the Republican party and hello to the Independent folk, prompting rumors of his candidacy. For the record, I would totally vote for zombie Lincoln, even if he ran against Fred Thompson.

"Jesus Take the Wheel": The Vatican has issued some commandments for driving, 'cause, apparently, they've got nothing else to do. I liked how Jon got way more laughs for stating that he's obviously not Catholic than for doing the masturbation joke. Either people are extremely turned off my the thought of Jon masturbating or Jon's so outrageously Jewish that it's hilarious to consider him otherwise. Ohh, speaking of Jewish... I was explaining the concept of kosher foods to my sister in the supermarket and a super-sunburnt guy in the same aisle glared at me for the longest time. I wasn't even making fun of kosher foods or Jewish people or anything. Are non-Jewish people not allowed to talk about kosher foods or something? I had said I wanted hummus. Are Chinese people not allowed to buy and/or consume hummus? The experience greatly confused me, but let's move on...

Senior Vatican Correspondent John Oliver, sporting some sweet Jesus-lovin' bling, reported live from the Vatican to talk about the new commandments. We haven't heard from Oliver in a while, I think. It was good to see him again.

The night's guest was Fareed Zakaria, or, as Jon called him, the James Bond of international news magazine editing. What a week it has been! With Steve Carell on Monday, Brian Williams on Tuesday, and now Zakaria, that's three Daily Show favorites in a row. Zakaria's interview was, as usual, educational and fun to watch. I think what makes him a great guest is that he's always informative but also rolls well with Jon's jokes (like that weird fraternity analogy). Yay for Fareed Zakaria!

Jon/Stephen: The only thing better than Stephen Colbert singing West Side Story is Stephen Colbert doing the West Side Story snapping dance. Play it cool, Colbert, real cool. Moment of Zen: That annoying British guy from CNN put awful thoughts in my mind.