Back in January, Jay Black put his hetero-manliness on the line to confess his five mancrushes, and he is to be commended. Honestly, I've been kicking around a list of my own heterosexual girlcrushes for a really long time but I never got around to putting it into a The Five post because I couldn't narrow it down. So, instead of taking the psychoanalytic path and trying to figure out what this dilemma indicated about my subconscious, I ignored the issue and left my unusually long list to collect dust. Ah, but now TV Squad has grown and we can make lists as long as we want! So, I will.It still took me a long time to narrow this down to a respectable number, but I've finally succeeded... Ladies and gentlemen, this is the list of my seven and a half heterosexual girlcrushes (TV Edition).
Also, remember that this is my -- MY -- awkward list of girlcrushes. So don't get your knickers in a twist just because I haven't included your imaginary girlfriend Rachel from Friends. The "TV Edition" bit is just as important, because otherwise, I'd have to include a one Ms. Keira Knightley. Meow.
Wilhelmina Slater (Ugly Betty): I could have gone the popular route and gushed about how much I love unique Betty, but there's something about Vannessa Williams' portrayal of Wilhelmina that is deliciously evil and so much cooler. Plus, the way she almost strictly dresses in various shades of champagne is pretty hot. How old is Vanessa Williams now? 44? Amazing.
Amanda Tanen (Ugly Betty): Again, it seems wrong that I'm omitting Ugly Betty's good girl for the evil ladies, but hey, it's my girlcrush list and I can do what I want to. Not only is Amanda just straight-up super-foxy, she also does this weird eyebrow-raise every once in a while that makes everything she says sound even more important. I've been trying to master that move for the past few months and all it does is make people think I have a facial tic.
Sue White (Green Wing): Her inability -- or complete lack of desire -- to control herself is admirable... to me, anyway. I want to go to work dressed as a giant squirrel. I want speak to people like I'm a Nazi from a film. I want to openly creep out the object of my affection by leaping across desks and grabbing his beautiful mane of hair. I want to be Sue White, crazy Scottish accent and all.
Stacy London (What Not To Wear): I wish I knew how to dress half as well as Stacy does... mainly because I think it would grant me the superiority to bitch at people for not having the appropriate darts on their shirt or not pressing their linens before going out. Not that I don't do that already, but backing up my criticism with a Stacy-level of fashion know-how might curb the cries of "Hey, shut the hell up, Annie. What do you know?" Really, I just want to be able to bitch at people the way Stacy does, oh-so full of love and shiny hair. Plus, Stacy rocks that grey forelock better than anyone else.
Charlotte York (Sex and the City): Ah, the token good girl of Sex and the City. I've never been able to relate to Charlotte on the show, but I'm compelled to include her on this list because I'm constantly alarmed by how much it hurts to look at her. She's so abnormally pretty and absurdly pristine, I feel my eyes water when she's onscreen. Hey, that rhymed.
Liz Lemon (30 Rock): I hated Tina Fey when she was on Saturday Night Live... maybe even to the level of loathing. But when I started watching 30 Rock, I was pleasantly surprised by how great she was. It's not so much that I idolize Liz Lemon -- far from it -- it's more like I recognize that she's probably what I'm going to be like in ten years' time. And since I can be a bit of a narcissist, it's only natural that I'd have a bit of a girlcrush on her.
Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live): The incredibly talented and lovely Kristen Wiig is currently my favorite lady on SNL, as well as the only reason why I tell people they look like rabbits. It's strange to think that she's still the newest of the newbies, because she has brought so much to the show since 2005. Sigh. It's another sign that the world is unfair: People this pretty shouldn't be funny too.
Doctor Girlfriend (The Venture Bros.): And here's the "half" of my "seven and a half". She doesn't get a full number because, first of all, she's a cartoon and, secondly, despite that Jackie O outfit and curvy body, there's still major doubt as to whether or not she's really a "she" at all. But that smoky voice is too sweet to leave her off the list. "Do you smoke cigarettes... or do you eat 'em?"
All right. Now to get the rest of you to 'fess up. Who are your girlcrushes? And those of you guys who didn't get the chance to reveal your mancrushes in Jay's post, now is the time to do it.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
5-29-2007 @ 5:32PM
ugtv.org said...
What part of Liz Lemon will you be "in ten years' time?" The part where she's alone in a crummy apartment, working long hours, and eating frozen dinners? Or the part where she has an important job, running a television show, and chasing after missing cast members?
Choose Wisely.
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5-29-2007 @ 11:57AM
Jim said...
Mmmm. Back-to-back pics of Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig, two of the hottest, smartest and funniest brunettes on TV. Thanks for making my day!
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5-29-2007 @ 12:16PM
Amanda said...
Pam Beasley on the Office... Jenna Fischer makes her the most endearing girl on TV. She is gorgeous, smart, talented, tolerant, witty and a little mean... Just amazingly well rounded.
That & just to add Julie Cooper, Summer Roberts and Kristen Cohen from the OC - those women proved that there was no need for Mischa.
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5-29-2007 @ 12:16PM
Jen said...
Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars
Billie Piper, Rose Tyler from Doctor Who
Stacie Mistysyn, Caitlin Ryan from Degrassi
Anna Belknap, Lindsay Monroe from CSI:NY
Eliza Dushku, Faith from Buffy
(In case you can't tell, I'm old)
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5-29-2007 @ 12:47PM
matt in Oakland said...
Kristen Wiig, awesome, simply awesome.
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5-29-2007 @ 12:45PM
shnaynay13 said...
Good call on Kristen Bell, definitely up there- she's (was) one of the best characters on TV- super spunky and funny, and great hair
Evangeline Lilly, Kate on Lost
Sarah Wayne Callies, Dr. Sarah on Prison Break
Minka Kelly, Lyla G. on Friday Night Lights
Sarah Chalke, Elliot on Scrubs
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5-29-2007 @ 1:02PM
Matt said...
Good call on Kristin Wiig and Tina Fey. I love those two. If I were a chick, I would include Kari Byron on the top of my list. Mmmmmm...loves me some Mythbusters.
Well, I guess I'll be the first guy to drop a few mancrushes:
Jack Bauer (24): Even after a pretty craptacular season, Jack is still the best agent of any kind on television. I mean, the man killed a guy this year by going Count Jackula on him. Come on. Who doesn't love that?
Sylar/Gabriel Gray (Heroes): Zachary Quinto is the man. There must be a 24 theme to my mancrushes, because he used to play Adam Kaufman on the show. Anyway, I think my mancrush is more on the fact that he plays the most wicked, bad-ass character on TV. I would die to play Sylar in one episode of Heroes. The guy cuts open peoples' heads with his mind. I'm sorry, but that's just fantastic.
Ari Gold (Entourage): Okay, when I said best agent of any kind for Kiefer, I meant best agent that wields a sidearm. Jeremy Piven plays the best non-sidearm wielding agent on television. The guy is just plain magic...just plain gold, even? *insert groans here*
Perry Cox (Scrubs): Like 24, Scrubs hit a rough patch this season, and John C. McGinley's wonderful character didn't feel quite like himself this year. However, I won't hold that against him, as his previous five years have been brilliant...especially his fantastic, heartbreaking turn in the "My Lunch"/"My Fallen Idol" two episode arc in Season Five...probably the best arc in the series' history.
All right, that's all for me. Come on, guys. Don't let me be the only one to fess up.
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5-29-2007 @ 1:06PM
Amanda said...
1. Adrianna - The Sopranos
2. Pam - The Office
3. Catherine - CSI: Las Vegas
4. Ziva - NCIS
5. Abby - NCIS
6. Samantha - Without A Trace
7 1/2 - Lisa - The Simpsons
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5-29-2007 @ 1:20PM
aly said...
Sela Ward, Mariska Hargitay, Ellen DeGeneres, Carrie Underwood,
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5-29-2007 @ 1:25PM
bgdc said...
Kristen Wiig rocks. seriously, if she's in a skit I'm paying attention. And with Veronica Mars now gone, 30 Rock is really the only show I totally look forward to each week; Tina Fey's come on strong finally.
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5-29-2007 @ 2:18PM
Kurifurisan said...
It's ok Matt, I'll join the Mancrush parade too...
1. Gordon Ramsey - I don't know why but I watch this man almost religiously. He can cook and he can talk $#*t but even better...he can back it up.
2. Simon Pegg (Spaced) - All the pop culture references from the show when to my head and made me swoon.
3. Ben Browder (Farscape) - A mixture of John Wayne and John McClane, this stoic space cowboy made my Friday nights.
4. Jeremy Piven (Entourage) - I totally agree with you here.
5. Masi Oka (Heroes) - Totally my biggest Otaku crush since I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion for the first time.
6. Craig Charles (Red Dwarf) - I watched PBS every Saturday night to catch up with Dave Lister who I idolized because I have curly hair and I wanted to emulate his dreads.
7. Bruce Campbell (Brisco County Jr.) - To this day, especially with those new Old Spice ads, I still stand firm with the belief that my firstborn son will bear the name of either Ash or Bruce.
7 1/2. The Mighty Blue Justice (The Tick) - I have a hand made ,supposed to be Halloween costume but I'd wear it as pajamas, Tick outfit I wear at least once a month to be a little closer to my animated mancrush.
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5-29-2007 @ 2:42PM
Colleen said...
No list is complete without Lauren Graham.
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5-29-2007 @ 3:03PM
Matt said...
Ah, DAMN IT! I totally forgot about Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell.
It's been so long since Brisco County Jr has been on TV, I forgot Bruce actually had a TV career at one point.
Good call.
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5-29-2007 @ 3:15PM
Mel said...
I can't believe no one else has mentioned my number one pick for heterosexual girl crushes yet:
1) Kara Thrace (Starbuck) on Battlestar Galactica!
2) Phoebe Halliwell on Charmed
3) Kate Austen on Lost
4) Inara Sera on Firefly
5) Hannah Bibb on Felicity (anyone else remember Jennifer Garner pre-Alias?)
6) D'anna on BSG (actually, Lucy Lawless on any show)
7) Peyton Richards on Savannah (oh how I miss my college days sometimes, when the WB had some good shows on!)
7 1/2) Jerrica Benton on Jem
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5-29-2007 @ 4:24PM
Borat said...
I'm a guy so as far as mancrushes go...I don't know really. I guess these guys will go on my "admiration" list:
1) Bunk and McNulty from "The Wire": Smart and funny guys...and they are hilarious when they get drunk.
2) Tommy Gavin: A man's man I guess. This guy is crazy! And he seems to get any woman he wants.
3) Turk from Scrubs: Seems like a really fun guy to hang around with.
4) Admiral Adama: Hard-nosed leader who almost always gets it right.
I can't think of anyone else right now.
But I'll just say this: Liz Lemon is an amazing character! So down to earth, funny and cute. Strangely enough, I used to hate Tina Fey on SNL too, but after seeing her on 30 Rock and all the various talk shows I think I may be in love.
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5-29-2007 @ 4:56PM
Mel said...
In no particular order...
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan from Bones. She's pretty, but it's really the indifferent matter-of-fact scientific talk that gets to me. That and she's super intelligent, socially awkward, offbeat, dark, and just so cute when she's with Booth.
Claire Bennett from Heroes. She's just so beautiful! For a character that's a teenage girl and a cheerleader, typically roles that are self-interested and apathetic, she's become a very real, likeable character. She's caring and helpful, smart and thinks things through, and cute and bubbly without being annoying. She has adjusted to her powers and resigned herself to the life she has to lead now without being too angsty, and she's just really awesome. I wish I could be Claire.
Pam Beesley from The Office. Other than the fact that Jenna Fisher is from my hometown of St. Louis, Pam is relateable, realistically awkward and unsure. She's meek but fun to be around and is trying her best to get through the work day. So adorable.
Agent Dana Scully from The X-Files. I mean, come on. Stunningly gorgeous, highly intelligent, and tough without losing cuteness. Her skepticism, flat scientific speeches, and mad autopsy skillz are totally hott. A TV crush classic.
And finally, the girls of Firefly. Kaylee is adorable, Zoey can kick some ass, River's insane super soldier in a cute dress thing is awesome, and Inara has the best wardrobe ever. I want those clothes.
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5-29-2007 @ 5:04PM
Karen said...
Oh, wow--Sue White! EX-cellent call, Annie. I want to plop my face into a cake covered with chocolate frosting at work, too. She is SUPERB.
Count me in on the Kristen Bell and Katee Sackhoff mentions above. But my earliest girlcrushes were Anne Francis in "Honey West" and--of course!--Diana Rigg as the inimitable Mrs. Emma Peel.
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5-29-2007 @ 5:29PM
Myluna said...
Veronica Mars - Kristen Bell
Lorelai Gilmore - Lauren Graham
Nancy Botwin - Mary Louise Parker
Thelma Bates - Jemima Rooper
Edina Monsoon- Jennifer Saunders
Patsy Stone - Joanna Lumley
Tina Fey in everything and anything!
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5-29-2007 @ 5:33PM
Myluna said...
Oh and 7.5 - Miss Piggy.
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5-29-2007 @ 5:35PM
Lacey said...
I can't belive no one has mentioned my #1 favorite thus far. She's the hottest thing to hit television since ever.
1. Trisha Helfer - (#6 on Battlestar Galactica)
2. Michaela Conlin - (Angela on Bones)
3. Eliza Dushku
4. Cobie Smulders - (Robin on How I Met Your Mother)
5. Charisma Carpenter - (Cordelia on Buffy and Angel)
6. Ali Larter - (Nikki/Jessica on Heroes)
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