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Dancing With The Stars: Week 9 Results

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson

(S04E17) This week's elimination wasn't exactly shocking, but there was a lot of suspense leading up to the final announcement. There was also a ton of filler, and not the entertaining Kenny Mayne-style filler. In the recap of Monday's performances, we learned that Julianne snorts when she laughs, which only makes her more adorable.

The judges selected Joey and Kym's Jive for the encore performance, which was a great choice. Once again, the couple put on an energetic show for the audience. Say what you will about Joey's butt (Len), but he knows how to win over a crowd.

Tom finally mastered the pronunciation of Enrique Iglesias' name in time to introduce the singer. Iglesias sang "Hero," which I can remember being used in the commercials for several TV dramas during the 2001-2002 season. The entire time Enrique sang, I kept picturing slow-motion shots of ER and Third Watch. Pros Louis, Edyta, Alec, and Karina were on hand to perform as well. I had forgotten how incredibly flexible Edyta is! I imagine that the pros look forward to these performances, since they can bring out the more challenging moves.

The audience members got to weigh in on the performances, and there really wasn't a clear favorite. Jane Seymour was in Camp Fatone, and Len obviously flew in a British man to agree with his ruling on Apolo's "raunchy" Cha Cha Cha. In the first results announcement, Joey and Kym were declared to be safe. They will be one of the three couples in next week's finals, and they truly deserve it. The couple worked hard this week after being in last week's bottom two, and won back the fan votes.

There was a special performance by Joaquin Cortes, who is some kind of Flamenco-Ballet dynamo. After weeks of couples' dancing, it was exciting to see a solo performer. Anyone who dances alone in gold shoes must be awesome, right? Cortes' dance is difficult to describe. He seemed to be in his own world, and the dance itself was intense, odd, and hot at various moments. It was basically like watching any Gary Oldman performance.

Is Jimmy Kimmel even trying to be funny anymore? This latest segment was pure torture. Kimmel and Guillermo opted to show their co-workers dancing around the office. They even threw in an accountant joke. Oh, those nerdy accountants with their lack of rhythm! Comedy gold. I hope Kimmel is left out of the final results show. I can't take any more of this.

After Enrique Iglesias performed a single from his new album, there was a segment about the contestants' backgrounds. The judges broke down the advantages that athletes and entertainers bring to the competition. No major surprises here: athletes are more competitive and physical, while entertainers are more comfortable in front of audiences and in makeup. They were really reaching with some of these segments.

Paige and Michael from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition were in the audience. Why wasn't Ty Pennington there? Oh, right. The celebrity contestants got a chance to size up their opponents, and we learned that Ian is hardworking, Joey is a great performer, Laila is elegant, and Apolo is athletic. I'd like to see a segment on the hosts. They could show Tom Bergeron saying "Enrique Iglesias" repeatedly in front of a mirror, and Samantha Harris selecting maternity gowns. Anything to escape the recycled material ABC is putting out there now.

The next set of results put Laila and Maksim on the safe list. I'm glad that a woman made it to the finals; Laila and Maksim have become one of my favorite couples. There was no bottom two this week, so the judges' bottom two, Apolo and Ian, were left to sweat it out. Ultimately, Ian and Cheryl were sent home, which put Apolo and Julianne in the finals. Cheryl's winning streak had to end sometime. Ian's farewell speech was sincere and humble, and I felt a little bad that he had to wear the Elvis jumpsuit in his last appearance. At least he wasn't wearing the wig.

5 out of 7I'm giving this results show a 5 out of 7--this episode was a little slow for my taste. Brett will be back to recap the finals, which should be amazing. All three of the remaining couples deserve to be there. I predict that Apolo and Julianne will win, barring any major disasters in next week's performances.

Be sure to vote in AOL's Dancing With The Stars poll!

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