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Scrubs: My Turf War

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Scrubs cast(S06E18) In the promo they ran right before 9:00, NBC followed up its promotion of 30 Rock by saying that this was the first of the "final four episodes of Scrubs."

Whaaaaat? Do they mean of the season or ever? Are they trying to tell us something in code that we'll find out in the next couple of weeks? All the talk from Bill Lawrence on down had indicated that there would be a seventh season of the show, either on NBC or their production company's corporate cousin, ABC.

But, can I tell you something? I'm not sure if a seventh season of Scrubs is such a good idea. Don't worry. This'll just be between us.

Why am I so ambivalent? Season six has been Scrubs' most inconsistent, with the highs of episodes like "My Musical" and "My Long Goodbye" tempered by some really uncomfortable episodes, especially early in the season. In the case of tonight's episode, the inconsistencies came within the body of the show; there were some really funny moments and some really... uh... let's just say they were less than funny.

Like I said last week, the episode got some felicity, or rather, Felicity: Keri Russell, looking better than she ever did for J.J. Abrams, played Elliot's sorority sister Melody who somehow, as we found out during "Turk's Booty Breakdown," managed to make a living reviewing hotels for Zagat's (I thought they "solicited" outside "reviews" from "readers"). The best part about the Breakdown? How Turk highlights her feet, "if you're into that kind of thing," which we know he is.

Oh, and when I went to college we used to have a name for sorority sisters who would giggle and scream at such a high octave that they created a vortex similar to what J.D. imagined. I can't say that name here, but I'll just tell you that it wasn't pleasant. But, then again, neither was that freakin' noise those girls created. It's too bad I didn't have a baby picture to show them.

We don't know much about Melody beyond the fact that she's still a party girl that likes to "mack" guys at bars and climb on people's backs a la Danni Sullivan. I kind of felt bad for "Grill Face," but it seems like something that would have happened to the insecure Elliot (otherwise known as "Jengi") in college. Where the unfunny started to happen was when J.D. told Melody that Elliot thought it was weird that Molly stayed the same all these years, without adding that she actually liked that part of her. When he got found out, the extended gag where J.D. couldn't bring himself to pay $100 for an appletini just to get himself out from under the glare of Elliot and Melody played like an overly-long Family Guy joke.

And then we have the quick tie-up where J.D. feels he and Elliot are drifting apart, then Keith surprisingly proposing to Elliot. It all moved a little too fast for me, though I was happy to see someone move to a different step in their lives (especially Elliot, who seemed to be stuck for quite a while). If they had dispensed with the endless appletini gag, they could have developed that story a bit more.

On to the B story... For a guy who feels he's superior to everyone else, Cox sure gets his comeuppance often, doesn't he? I just think the elaborateness of this one was especially delicious. Didn't think Turk had such deviousness in him... I mean, for crissakes, he even got Kelso involved in the scam. But here's my question: Why did Lloyd become this week's designated hypochondriac? Was Richard Kind -- who played super-chondriac Harvey Korman -- not available? When they turfed poor Lloyd back and forth, it's too bad they didn't write down fake problems like "Count Choculitis," like we saw on The Office. I guess that wouldn't have been ethically feasible...

Oh, and the Janitor haunts pediatrics. On rollerblades. Just to keep the place clean. It really looked like they just gave Neil Flynn something to do in this episode instead of giving him a really good gag. Even seeing a sheet-clad Janitor roll around while J.D. and Elliot were talking didn't do it for me, and those "two things going on at once" scenes are usually pretty funny.

rating4So, this episode was the second one in a row that was light on "lessons," which was good after the heaviness of the Laverne-dying episodes. But only half the jokes hit for me; usually a good episode of Scrubs has a 75-80% hit rate. So because the show was only half good, I will go half-way up our 1-7 scale and give this one a 4. Hope some of the "final three" are better.

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