TVSquad

(As opposed to this fake review I wrote before).

First of all, generic breakfast biscuits are just as tasty as the ones from Pillsbury. Once you've taken them out of the can, you'll never know the difference. The same goes for tuna. Now as far as deli meats go....

Sorry, I started reviewing my trip to the grocery store after I saw the movie. You'll forgive me if my brain is a bit jumbled up after seeing Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters. That's okay, though, because that's exactly what an Aqua Teen movie should do. You should walk out of the theater feeling like your brain has been molested by a malevolent humor-bot that has ruthlessly pumped hundreds of gags and inside references into your skull with his mighty reference injector.

Bottom line: if you're an Aqua Teen fan, you will love this movie. If you've never heard of this movie, then you're a film critic who had to write a review this week and the other critics on staff already had dibs on the movies you actually wanted to see.

I'm not calling this a review, because the movie is essentially review-proof. Much like the TV series, there's some semblance of a plot, but the real joy comes from how the story takes several detours, winds up at several dead ends, turns around, backtracks, and then becomes even more convoluted.

The "plot" centers on a piece of exercise equipment whose sole purpose is to serve as the eye of the hurricane of insanity that is this film. You'll see Master Shake, Frylock and Meatwad, of course, not to mention Carl, the Plutonians (Oglethorpe and Emory), the Mooninites (Ignignokt and Err), MC Pee Pants, and the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future. Other characters from the series pop up throughout the movie, which was been called an "origin story" in the papers, but even that "story" doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

Make sure you stay until the credits are over, too.

Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro have created a movie for Aqua Teen fanatics and no one else, a feature-length inside joke that'll enthrall the initiated and consternate the squares. It's a unique film based on a unique TV series, and it gives fans exactly what they want amped up to about thirty trillion decibels. Go see this movie six times.