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What TV can teach us: Atheism - VIDEOS

cheeseThis is the 27th in my twelve-part series where my friends (that's you) and I (that's also you, but in this case: me) try to learn all we can about a subject by turning to that great teaching tool known as television.

Many people will tell you that whether or not a person ultimately believes in a supreme being is a matter of personal choice, hopefully arrived at through study and reflection. This is not true: both atheism and religion are based on cheese, and which of the following items most interests a person, this:

mary cheese

Or this:

dino cheese

Some would call this an oversimplification, but the fact is that some will see the face of the Virgin Mary in the grilled cheese sandwich, whereas some will just see a sandwich. Similarly, some will see a dinosaur in the other picture, whereas others will see God, who is, as the Bible indicates, "that which you see when you don't see a dinosaur (Thessalonians 4:3)."

Of course, most of us knew that already, so let's see what TV has to say about atheism beyond what we already know:

As an atheist, one tends to take the world at face value. Atheist believe dinosaurs existed long before humans, and that humans and dinosaurs never co-existed. As you can tell from the above video, if a man tried to co-exist with a dinosaur, that dinosaur would be all like, "nuh uh, Miser Man! This is what happens to homo sapiens who try to live before they're born! Suck swamp water, Louis Lartet!"

Also, dinosaurs were masters of camouflage, as the footage shows. They could disguise themselves as toys, and they spoke a dialect very similar to our English, but with dumber lines.

Whether or not you believe in God, you should always be aware of where your information comes from. James Randi, a magician and skeptic, made many appearances on the Tonight Show, and still gives lectures on the importance of science and why he's an atheist. However, Randi has a habit of reciting the same tiresome atheist platitudes again and again:

"I'm here to enforce the guarantee!"

You're here to enforce, nothing, Randi! I'm going to make up my own mind, you got that?

So there you have it. Is there anything TV can't teach us? I don't know, I'll ask my TV and get back to you.

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