TVSquad

(S06E12) Okay, we're all in agreement -- Tuesday night's "Top 12 Boys" show was boring and uneventful. I thought so. Those of you who commented thought so. And even Paula thought so.

Paula says, "It was a rough first night...you learn after your first performance where you have to go, where you have to pull back, and where you push for it." And amazingly, perhaps for the first time EVER (okay, maybe there has been one other documented time), Simon agrees with Paula, calling her advice "wise words."

Hey what's going on? Since when are we all in agreement? Including Simon? Plus, Simon's really happy tonight. His grin is a mile wide. He must have gotten his paycheck this morning.

Ryan reminds us that Simon was harsh last night with the boys, setting the bar very high. And even the favorite son, Sundance wasn't spared. Only Blake, Chris R., and Phil seemed to impress the judges.

Simon then cleared up a few things about Tuesday's show. He says he wasn't pissed off when Chris mocked his Teletubbies, even though he DID indeed look pissed off. In fact, Simon likes that Chris challenged him, it "shows a bit of spirit." See, now I know that Simon likes the nasty banter with Ryan. Simon likes to be challenged.

Of course, a couple minutes later, Ryan won't let up with his need to push Simon, and Simon calls him "obnoxious." It's a dysfunctional family all right. Simon's the nasty one. Paula's the sweet, loopy one. Randy is the one who "keeps it real, dawg." And Ryan is the obnoxious, bratty little brother who deserves a wedgie. Enough banter, let's get this two-hour marathon started.

1. STEPHANIE EDWARDS (19)
Before tonight we haven't really met Stephanie, a college student. She seems sweet as she talks about how her parents encouraged her American Idol dream. The tears start to flow (hers, not mine). She sings Alicia Keys "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore?" in a dress that is a little low cut. In fact, in a dramatic part of the song she falls to her knees and I wonder if her boobs are gonna fall out of that dress. I seriously thought she was going to have a wardrobe malfunction. She's a good singer, though. Fairly confident, and ends the song nicely.

Randy says, "That set it off...definitely a little pitchy," but he likes the run at the end. Paula tells her she is "a star." Simon says, "You were a million times better than any performance we saw last night...by far your best performance we've seen...it was a good choice of song....it looks as if you came out and said, "I want to win American Idol. And that's what it's all about."

2. AMY KREBS (22)
Amy is an Optometrist's assistant from Seattle. She's very smiley, but her speaking voice sounds hoarse to me and I wonder how that will affect her singing. She sings Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me." She's definitely cute, but the song is a little dull.

Randy says, "That was a kind of medium, middle of the road performance...you chose a song that's really safe...too safe for me." Paula agrees with Randy, babbles something I really can't understand or bother to write down. Randy interprets for her and says Paula means to say that Amy is "better than the song." Simon says, "I still can't remember you...when you sing you have the personality of a candle...you're just like this thing that sings...and I'm gonna forget you...unless you do something that makes you stand out." Ouch. But he's right. She's like the Invisible Singing Woman. You're already like Amy Who?

3. LESLIE HUNT (24)
She's a dogwalker from Chicago who's really pleased that she's made it this far. She sings one of my favorite Carole King songs "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" (made famous by Aretha Franklin). And she looks really pretty, all dimply and blond, although the dress is a bit uninspired, and she's a bit awkward in it. There's nothing special about her version, although I like the last note.

Randy says, "I was hoping for definite greatness...that song was a little too big for you...it was just okay." Paula thinks she "did a great job...however, watch the songs that you pick." Simon says, "It wasn't great...you're a very nice girl and you're a dogwalker...you look embarrassed and ungainly as you perform...a bit all over the place."

Paula and Randy don't understand why Simon brings up the dogwalking, but Ryan unexpectedly comes to his defense. Ryan says he understands what Simon is saying: "She's out of his comfort zone." Simon THANKS Ryan for a change. Wow, what's going on? These two aren't supposed to play nice.

4. SABRINA SLOAN (27)
A professional singer from Studio City, California, Sloan got a standing ovation from Paula in Hollywood, and I guess that's a good thing. I forgot what song she sung, and I forgot to write it down. I'm sure some kind commenter will leave a note and let me know what it was. Anyway, Sabrina might not be the "pretty one" in this competition, but she brings down the house. And this is a singing competition, not a beauty pageant, right?

Randy says,"That's the way to sing...that's the one to beat...that was hot." Paula gives her another standing ovation. Simon says, "That performance...probably is the best one so far."

And then Sabrina says something really smart -- she purposely stayed away from a ballad because that doesn't seem to work for people early in the competition. That's the same exact thing I said in my review last night. Ballads are too slow, often boring, and never as good as the original version. Rock out and have fun, and the crowd will probably go with it even if you don't hit every note.

5. ANTONELLA BARBA (20)
Ah yes, the Jersey Girl who looks like Cindy Crawford now has "naughty" photos circulating all over the internet. She's pretty, I'll give her that. And I'd love to root for a local girl. But as I've said before here, I have yet to see a great performance out of her, and I don't think she'll be able to keep up once this competition begins. She sings Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" which only reminds me of that horrible movie with Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler (Not Jersey Girl, the other horrible one -- Armageddon). She is a pretty girl, but her vocals are just not strong enough.

Randy keeps it real, saying "It wasn't good...really pitchy, really bland." Paula sees the bright side, saying "It may not have been great, but it wasn't bad....you're an amazingly beautiful girl." Simon says, "The good news is your attractive, the bad news is it didn't work...it was way, WAY, way too big for you...it has seriously, SERIOUSLY damaged your chances of remaining here another week." I don't want to say I told you so, but OH YES I DID.

Antonella asks for advice, and Simon tells her to "choose a pop song." He tells her the song she picked "ate" her up and compares it to Ryan trying to do the news. Even this jab doesn't cause a Simon/Ryan fight. What the heck is going on? Perhaps Ryan also received his paycheck today and realizes he shouldn't bite the hand that feeds him.

Hey on a side note, did you know The O.C. finale is coming up? Thank goodness for Idol or I would have missed the promos for it completely. Unfortunately, I've only seen about five episodes of that show. I mean, I really liked the pilot, but never got into after that. Oh well, anyway back to the show.

6. JORDIN SPARKS (17)
She's only a high school junior, but she does seem to possess the confidence of somebody older. During her first audition, Simon called her "sugary sweet." She sings Tracy Chapman's "Gimme One Reason" and I think she's pretty good, but trying too hard to sound older, and not so "sugary sweet."

Randy thinks she needs to pick more challenging songs because he doesn't know "if there is any song too big for you, so go there." Paula, says "Great song selection...you do have that natural talent...go for it, go for it, go for it." Simon agrees that Jordin has a great voice, and needs to push herself, perhaps surprising "a few people in this competition."

7. NICOLE TRANQUILLO (20)
A voice major from Pennsylvania, Nicole thrives on "no sleep." Oh yeah, I remember the good old days of college. Nowadays I'm a parent, so I thrive only with "lots of sleep" -- sleep that I ain't gonna get unless I can wrap up these lengthy Reviewcaps quicker. But this isn't about me, it's about Nicole, who sings a Chaka Khan song which Randy thinks is too urban for her. On the sidelines, her dad (I hope that's her dad and not some creepy old man) dances and sings along. I don't know, this performance (Nicole's, not her dad's) scares me. She seems really angry.

Randy says, "It wasn't really working for me...I don't think that's your vibe...that was rough for me." Paula disagrees, she doesn't know "how many people can hit the notes that Nicole did...it was a performance that was out of this world...she can sing." Simon thinks it was, "indulgent, aggressive," and looked "unnatural...fake."

8. HALEY SCARNATO (24)
She sings in a band in Texas, and her Idol journey has been "surreal." She sings Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and is dressed in a tight black outfit that makes me think she should be trying out for Sandy in "Grease: You're the One That I Want," instead of Idol.

Randy says, "It was just okay for me...I don't think you did anything special with it." Paula thinks she did a "nice job," but wished Haley hadn't sung the same song she already sung in Hollywood. Simon said she "sounded 40...you should sound a bit younger...a little boring, I thought." And Randy and Paul agree with that assessment.

9. MELINDA DOOLITTLE (29)
She's a background singer from Tennessee, who has felt empowered ever since singing in Hollywood with a set of background singers behind her. She just seems like a really nice, happy, stable person. She sings "Since You've Been Gone," and to my untrained ears, she sounds terrific. She's definitely the best we've seen so far. And she's nice, too.

Randy says, "You came out there, sung, blew it out of the box...you've got the natural gift...that was the bomb." Paula agrees, gushing, "No more background singing, you are a front-runner... you are a firecracker too...big, big performance." Simon says, "You are an incredible singer...you're a fantastic person...I really hope you do well."

10. ALAINA ALEXANDER (24)
She works at a pizzeria and calls herself emotional, sensitive, and passionate (which means she cries at the drop of a hat). She sings The Pretenders' "Brass in Pocket" but it's not a great performance. At one point she turns away from the microphone and we can't hear her. It was only a second, but it didn't help her already shaky performance. She also sounds out of breath. I just don't think "she's special."

Randy says, "It really wasn't great...you didn't do anything different with it." Paula agrees with him, "you didn't make it your own...I didn't feel it." Simon says, "The irony is you kept singing that line 'I'm special' and it really wasn't...you are going to be reliant on your looks at the moment, not your voice."

11. GINA GLOCKSEN (22)
She's a dental assistant from Illinois who seems to really, really want to win this thing. She says "this is my time." She sings "All By Myself" and it starts off slow and maudlin...and then continues slow and maudlin. Okay, I hate this song. I didn't think Gina would make me yawn, but she does. Luckily, the song finally picks up at the end, and we get to hear her awesome voice, but for me it's too little, too late. Obviously the judges disagree and are wowed by the big finish.

Randy says, "Big girl, big voice, big song...that was nice." Paula calls it "the right song to sing tonight...because you have that big powerful voice." Simon says "It was a different side to you...I don't think you hit the big note."

12. LAKISHA JONES (27)
Lakisha is a bank teller from Michigan, and has been singing for years and years at church but never made a living doing it. Now, she thinks things are going to finally happen for her. She sings "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." It's a rather bold choice, I think. It's a great song, but a hard song to sing, and she has some big shoes to fill singing this one.

Randy says, "I DO LOVE YOU...you laid it out...Jennifer Hudson, watch out." Paula in standing ovation mode gushes, "You have so much to be proud of...this is where you belong." Simon says,"THAT'S the right note. I am very tempted to say to 23 people 'book your plane tickets home'...that was in a totally different league."

Wow, what an awesome note to end the night on. That was an amazing performance and everyone seems to agree. The rest of the girls look so sad, or maybe they're scared. The pretty girls aren't going to be around long unless they really start singing.

Final thoughts:

The ladies clearly did better than the guys, and even Randy thinks that maybe eight girls and only four boys should advance to the finals. But we all know that ain't the rules, and it ain't gonna happen. Paula is just "proud" of the all the ladies, especially for picking the right songs to shine. And Simon thinks "there were three or four people tonight in a different league." He believes Lakisha has "thrown down the gauntlet." I agree, but am wary of jumping on any bandwagon too fast. Remember how fast Sundance has fizzled out?

So, I'd say that Stephanie, Jordin, Sabrina, Melinda, Gina, and Lakisha are definitely safe for this week. Antonella will probably get through because I think she's popular with certain voters (and them naughty pictures are probably gonna help her). Who's not safe? Leslie, Amy, Haley, Alaina, and Nicole who failed to stand out or impress.

Who's going home? Nicole Tranquilla and Leslie Hunt (that's my guess, what's yours?)

Want to Rank the Girls? Go here, to rank your favorites, and find out if others agree with your choices or not.

Tomorrow: The first Live Results Show. Four people are going home. Fantasia is singing. And I'll be recapping, as usual (looks like I'll be DVRing My Name is Earl, Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, and Men in Trees).