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What do you think of Oprah's secret?

Oprah and Rhonda ByrneYeah, sure, I was snookered. Oprah dipped into the Viral Marketing 101 handbook when she ran promos asking, "What is the secret?" It wasn't enough to get me to watch Oprah, but I did investigate online to find out what "secret" was being kept from me by the good people at Harpo Productions.

What "secret" could Oprah possibly have left to share? Over the years, she's told me to embrace my spirit, cut out the "white" stuff, wear cotton underwear and drive a Pontiac. Apparently, Oprah's "secret" is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne - another in a long line of vaguely spiritual Four Agreements/Celestine Prophecy/Miracle Matrix self-help tomes.

According to the divine Ms. O's website, "The Secret is defined as the law of attraction, which states that like attracts like. The concept says that the energy you put into the world - both good and bad - is exactly what comes back to you. This means you create the circumstances of your life with the choices you make every day."

Free will, self-determination and a little PMA. That's "positive mental attitude" to those of you who didn't have my gym coach in high school. It's not the worst philosophy ever. Take a little responsibility for your life, your choices. Really, so long as you're not a self-righteous prick about it, I don't care what floats your wellness boat - the bible, Oprah, weed, the series finale of Six Feet Under, whatever gets you through the day.

The Secret doesn't, of course, take into account what it means to be in circumstances so dire and so insurmountable that no amount of PMA will get you out of them. Overcoming abject poverty, political disenfranchisement or social marginalization is really not the self-help racket's stock and trade. What is, however, is coming up with all manner of wacky lineages and quack documentation to validate their "way" over the next self-help guru's.

In the case of The Secret, we're presented with equal parts pseudo-science - energy, radio waves and matter - and history. Check out The Secret's promo video online. It looks like The Da Vinci Code meets National Treasure. Masons, shady Vatican officials and patriarchal corporate tycoons in board rooms (...I'm looking at you Alan "Caleb/Meade/Widemore" Dale...) have been trying to suppress "the secret" for years. The Man has been trying to keep you down by hiding the coveted "self-determination" lecture in a codex wrapped in a lock box buried in a tomb. It took Oprah to blow the conspiracy wide open. (Next week, she discovers that Jesus was a woman and JFK was assassinated by the Knights Templar.)

So, did any of you embrace The Secret?

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