It will all happen on February 22: Oprah, the most powerful woman in the known universe, will share the small screen with Ellen DeGeneres, the funniest woman in the universe with the name "Ellen DeGeneres," when Ms. Winfrey appears on The Ellen DeGeneres Show for the first time.
I'm here to tell everyone that we cannot allow this to happen.
Now, I'm no expert, but it seems to me that if you combine the fanaticism seen in Oprah's audience with the fanaticism seen in Ellen's audience that the resulting cacophony would actually tear existence in half like so much tissue paper. Oh sure, individually these audience members are just regular folks, but combine them into greater numbers and you've got a power that would make God Himself crap His Almighty pants.
There's only one way we can survive: we have to flee to another dimension. If anyone knows how to do that, let me know in the comments. I'm not so good with such things.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
2-14-2007 @ 12:58PM
TomB said...
Another kiss-ass fest on the Ellen show. Ellen will tell Oprah how wonderful she is and Oprah will agree then it will be over.
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2-14-2007 @ 1:56PM
Chris W said...
"...would make God himself crap his almighty pants."
I think you have to capitalize when talking about the Almighty or His Pants.
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2-14-2007 @ 2:17PM
Adam from TV Squad said...
Yeah, I went ahead and changed it, though I'm not sure that's still a hard and fast rule anymore? The AP Stylebook, for one, says you should always use lower case. I think it comes down to personal preference.
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2-14-2007 @ 2:41PM
Tammy said...
I know that Oprah is really just promoting her Oscar special and Ellen is hosting the Oscars so she's going to be on her show. But the interesting thing is that Ellen is major competition for Oprah in some major markets. You would think Oprah wouldn't want to help her numbers or maybe Oprah has gotten to a point where she just doesn't care about that anymore.
So how will Oprah's Oscar special do against Barbara's Oscar special?
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2-14-2007 @ 4:48PM
Phyllis Ajisafe said...
OK, here's what you do: when the cacophony actually rends an opening in the existing dimension, quickly slip through the chink into the alternate universe and swap places with your doppelganger!
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2-14-2007 @ 11:08PM
VSJ said...
ELLEN should be appearing on OPRAH's show, not the other way around...
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2-19-2007 @ 2:01PM
Preston said...
I think it will be exciting for Oprah Winfrey to guest on Ellen DeGeneres' show. And I don't think it will be competition or to hype up their specials. Just regular talk and fun. And Ellen has really done well against Oprah in some markets like New York.
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2-23-2007 @ 4:24PM
Amy said...
Ellen was already on the Oprah show.
What would be interesting is to hear an analysis of how Oprah took over Ellen's show, running roughshod all over her, and basically ignored many of Ellen's questions, asking and answering her own.
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