The recent talk regarding American Idol has revolved around one of two things: 1) Paula Abdul's slow, sad descent into dementia and 2) the fact that the show seems much more cruel than usual. (I'd like to see Randy's uselessness and Simon's insistence on wearing t-shirts at least two sizes too small also thrown into the discussion, but I digress).There's been enough ink spilled on the first point that I really don't have too much to add. Suffice it to say that I think all Paula needs is some rest and an exorcism and she'll be fine.
As to the second point, I agree that the show has become much more cruel as of late. I think that the judges have been mean and that the show seems to focus on the bad auditions rather than the good ones. And you know what? I think it's great.
There are three types of bad auditions on American Idol and I think all three can benefit from harsh (even cruel) criticism.
1) An act that thinks that he or she is good, but is most certainly not good. A lot of times this performer is "dressed sexy" (some kind of clingy, fat-exposing silk for the ladies, gelled hair and jeans that are both distressed and distressing to look at on the guys) despite being what one could conservatively call pig-slop ugly. They're surrounded by an equally clueless and sadly recognizable family who you just know has been supporting this kid for year after tone-deaf year. This group usually reacts with the most sadness after being told they are "awful" or "dreadful" because in their hearts they thought they were good. Our own hearts at home break because we can empathize with seeing a dream so deferred.
But what did the judges do, really, that was so cruel? They made fun of singing that is bad and bodies that are out of shape. They're almost never wrong. These kids are so deluded into thinking that they are good, the harsh reality of an insult is what's needed to cut through the BS they've been feeding themselves (in between Mallomar breaks, that is) all these years. If the judges were to let them down easily, ("You were just a little off, better luck next year"), all they'd be doing is cursing these kids to another year of false hope. I liked the movie Rudy too, but let's be honest, no matter how much these kids work, they're still gonna stink. Cruelty is what's needed here to kill a dream that has no business existing.
A little story to illustrate my point: When I was six, I told my dad during some batting practice that I wanted to play professional baseball. He took me aside and said, "Son, we've been here twenty minutes and all you've hit is the tee and and my crotch. You couldn't be worse if you didn't have any arms. Maybe you should set your sites a little lower. Have you considered writing for a TV blog?" And here I am. Maybe my dad was a bit cruel, but he saved me from a lifetime of futility.
(A lot of you may be asking how my dad knew about the existence of TV blogs in 1982. Well, my dad was a genius. Also, I tend to make things up.)
2) Someone who is knowingly bad and just trying to get on TV. They're usually dressed as something like Mr. T ("I pity the fool who doesn't think I'm the next American Idol") and pretty much everyone knows that they're not going to the next round. Fox loves them because they help to pad the shows into two hour blocks and the people at home love them for the same reason we love professional wrestling and pro-sports mascots: we're idiots. The cruelty the judges show them is part of the camp of the show and I don't think anyone is really getting hurt.
3) People who are... slow. I don't think that Fox has sunk so low that they're putting people with obvious mental retardation on the show, but they've gotten pretty darn close. When people talk about cruelty, I think they often have these auditions in mind. In fact, when I was preparing this article, even I was unsure how to approach this subject.
My first thought was that it was actually kind of refreshing that the judges treat these people with the same respect (or lack thereof) afforded to everyone else. There's something tremendously American about softening words around people with differences (my mother-in-law is deaf and it's fun to watch how uncomfortable people get around her, especially when they whisper "Oh, is she deaf?" to us. Why are you WHISPERING!?) It's nice to see a little British brutality being brought to the table, regardless of what political correctness tells us to do.
My second thought was that these people are either capable of getting to the show themselves and are therefore open season or they are taken to the show by relatives who think it would be "cute" if little Ralph Wiggum gets his thirty seconds on air. If it's the latter case, I think it's a crummy situation and the kid is getting used an all accounts -- including his family. The cruelty is probably unwarranted, but if it serves as a deterrent from bringing these kids to the auditions, well, then, so be it. There's no reason at all that that kid should be there and his parents should know better.
My third thought is that the preceding two paragraphs will probably bring on me the same charges of cruelty that came down on American Idol. Well, that's okay, I'm making fat TV Squad money, and I can't hear your insults in my candy-coated mansion. (On a side note, don't ever candy-coat your mansion. My place is crawling with ants.)
We feel so badly for all three of these groups, I think, because part of us worries that if we were to go onto the show that the judges would be that cruel to us. There but for the grace of God go I or some such. Well, lucky for us we didn't go on the show! I can't sing and I can't dance so I'm smart enough not to go on a show and audition for something that requires singing and dancing. If I did go, I would expect nothing short of the same cruelty that everyone else who can't sing and can't dance has been getting.
I mean, has it gotten so bad in this country that we're complaining that the judges on a reality show are being judgmental?!
When I played youth soccer (another sport that I sucked at, but it was soccer, so my dad didn't care) and we had "Cup Day" (which did not involve athletic supporters), everyone, despite how they played, walked away with a trophy. And you know how much value that trophy had? About as much as if it actually had been an athletic supporter. We only value praise when there is the threat of criticism. That's why Simon is the only judge anyone cares about.
We thrill with the contestant when Simon smiles and says, "That was lovely." Why? Because of the thousands of times he was cruel in the past. We trust Simon the same way we don't trust our spouse when we ask them if we look fat or if they're okay with how hairy our back is becoming.
We live in a world where the PTA disallows dodgeball because it hurts a kid's self-esteem. What we forget is that a few blasts of thick red gym-rubber is sometimes the motivation a kid needs to improve himself or at least learn not to play dodgeball.
This country could use a good hard dodgeball strike to the noggin. The only thing inflating faster than our national debt is our national ego. We call every social critic anti-American and we tell our FEMA heads they're doing a great job regardless of the actual job he's doing. Maybe we'd all benefit from a little American Idol style cruelty in our lives.
(And yes, I completely expect for the comments to bring a little AI cruelty into my life. It's okay, I'll be as drunk as Paula when this article hits.)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
1-29-2007 @ 8:32AM
Chris Wyant said...
Amen, brother. I think that the formula is still the same it has been since the beginning. Randy's 'cool', Paula's 'supportive', and Simon's 'mean'. But when you get these freaks who desperately want to be famous (many of whom are driving themselves to auditions), the judges are going to come off as mean just by saying what needs to be said. There's nothing outrageous about taking somebody down a peg, it's for their own good. And the "freaks" and "weirdos" and "losers" are cashing out big time.
Check out this blog for more http://weargue.blogspot.com/2007/01/american-idol-makes-fun-of-retards.html
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1-29-2007 @ 8:31AM
the barb said...
This article was very humourus! I would like to add the thought that people don't see what the first month of the show is all about: The warm up act...karaoke!!
After tens of thousands of wannabes go through the door the panel has to do something do keep from going nuts, I mean they could be more cruel with the barbs.
You're right they're just telling what their mommas should of told them YEARS ago.
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1-29-2007 @ 9:09AM
Boomfoxx said...
It's a TV show that's been on the air a number of years, people should know what they're getting into. No one got upset at Joe Rogan when he made people eat cockroacks, why? Because everyone knows that to get on Fear Factor you're going to have to eat something disgusting... why should AI be any different?
That said, AI is a singing competition, and should therefore judge singing, and not someone's appearance (unless of course dressed in some sort of rediculous Statue of Liberty/Mr. T/etc kind of craziness). I thought the whole "Bush-baby" thing was out of line. Tell the guy he sucks and get on with the show you don't need to tack on the "oh yeah, and you're ugly" at the end.
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1-29-2007 @ 9:09AM
Danny said...
I agree that alot of the people deserve the harsh criticism, but it's not just the bad ones who get insulted. There was a very tall woman who made it through to Hollywood and Simon's only comment was "you just put a giraffe through". That was unnecessary.
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1-29-2007 @ 9:09AM
Gem said...
Well, the author said has it gotten so bad in this country that we're complaining about judges being judmental... that would be fine if they were doing it with legitimate contestants. But all this is just staged. If this were real, the judges would never see stuff this bad. It gets screened out.
Therefore, what we have is a tv show that has evolved itself (it wasn't this bad early on) into totally humiliating and insulting WILLING people for ratings. I agree these people are willing and ask for it. But has it gotten so bad in this country people are willing to sit at home and watch other people be humiliated, insulted and laughed at??? What does that say about you if you watch that? Nothing good. And if you are allowing your kids to watch such meaness for profit, shame on you.
But it's your decision, you guys can watch it all you want to but I don't have to agree or want to be a part of it. I don't find it funny or entertaining at all. If you do, fine, but I still ask what is wrong about you that it takes that to entertain you. I want to see the talent.
And don't tell me to go away or turn the channel, I already have, but I have a right to put my 2 cents in as well.
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1-29-2007 @ 10:49AM
BlackViking said...
I agree totally with this blog! And Boomfoxx, the Bush-baby thing was mean, but I disagree that this is a "Singing" competition. Being an Idol is more than singing, it is also about looks, personality and the whole package. If you audition for this show be prepared for negative comments in all these areas.
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1-29-2007 @ 2:19PM
fc2grimm said...
I completely agree with almost everything Jay says. Some of these people have to know that they can not sing, irregardless of the fact that they may have been told they can. And since the show has now been on for 3+ seasons you know what it takes to win. I also think that if someone auditions in a goofy costume or looking like the local hooker they already know that they can’t sing and are trying to compensate for it. One thing I do disagree with Jay about – the Bush Baby incident – I thought it was the best part so far and I am still laughing.
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1-29-2007 @ 10:25AM
CPav said...
I'm generally in agreement with what's expressed here, but I'm noticing something else this season that no one else has mentioned, either here or elsewhere (that I've seen):
There's a lot more of the judges looking off-screen (not at the performers) when someone is bad. It's as though they're getting tired of the dreck as well, and asking the producers "Why did you put this person through?"
I agree that this has always been part of the early weeks of IDOL, and that it's the reason at least a portion of the audience tunes in, but this season it seems to me and my family as though there's a much higher ratio of bad to good, and that they're staying with some of the more emotional/vocal bad contestants longer than they need.
The contestant is upset and wants one more chance? We get that. Move on. Oh, that contestant is upset and wants one more chance, even when the judges tell her to leave? Been there, done that. In fact, been there, done that five minutes ago.
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1-29-2007 @ 11:51AM
Kirby said...
I generally agree - if someone can't sing, it's best to tell them so. And actually, usually the judges start off by saying something like, "That was dreadful." If the contestant just leaves, they don't get berated further. It's when they start talking back that they get the extended criticism.
But what does bother me about the meanness of the show is the extended shots of the rejected wannabes in the hallway bawling. C'mon, we know that they're disappointed, we don't need to see them break down on national television. A few seconds, let em get a Patented Idol Circle over their middle finger, fine, but more than that, that's the producers just being mean. I find it very hard not to have some empathy for even the most deluded person when they do this.
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1-29-2007 @ 11:49AM
Jyoti said...
Excellent blog. I completely agree with you. It seems that a lot of these people complaining don't remember the first season of the show. Simon was a lot meaner. Maybe back then it was 'refreshingly shocking', but he was mean none the less and both then and now, it's completely necessary.
These people know what they're getting into. They go there asking to be judged, yes both on appearance and ability. So getting a harsh criticism for both and then whining about it is dumb.
You know who has the right idea? Who has clearly watched and learned? That chick from Queens, who worked out for her audition, who got more vocal training for her audition and came in and made it through. She understands what this competition is about. It's not just about looks and ability, it's about overall you, being the best you you can be and using that to impress these judges who you want to fulfil your dreams.
So those who whine and say the show's too mean or that it's judging the wrong thing, take a lesson from her.
That's like going on a job interview all sloppy and uncaring as to whether you're qualified for the position or not and then crying afterwards when you're shown the door.
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1-29-2007 @ 12:05PM
gem said...
You people are so deluded. Yes I agree that people who can't sing should be told that, but you people need to get a grip. These are people who are shreiking and howling. They are nowhere near singing. These are JOKE auditions people. With only the intent of insulting people ratings. Hello, It's all a farce. They are mocking their own competition. And you people are buying it hook, line and sinker.
And NO, this was not the case in season one. This trend only gets worse year after year as Joke Auditioners head out to audition. And you guys talk about them like they were really serious. Hilarious. Suckers.
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1-29-2007 @ 12:50PM
InL.A. said...
#11 - Yes, I agree. It's a JOKE and people are taking the show way to seriously. People are desperate for their 15 minutes of fame - what's a few insults along the way?
To address the other points:
1. When I heard the term, "Bush baby" - I thought what does the President have to do with this?
2. Someone needs to tell Simon that he is a pudgy old man that should either lose about 30 pounds or wear baggy t-shirts. He also needs to quit smoking - he probably smells like stale old spice and cigarettes.
3. In Paula's defense - if you had to listen to bad singing you would be taking whatever you get your hands on.
4. Randy is worthless, with his high-pitch "Dawg" slang, but somehow balances the equation of disfunction.
5. Contestants will finally catch on and actually get serious training before auditioning.
6. Nigel and Cowell(The Producers)will finally get the idea to stop airing the ridiculous, therefore, discouraging the dreck.
7. The "dreck" needs American Idol to expose their lack of talent on National TV and American Idol needs dreck for the ratings - it's vicious cycle of evil co-dependancy.
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1-29-2007 @ 1:46PM
Jordy said...
I agree with pretty much everything you said, Jay. One thing though - I don't think the mentally challenged should get through to the judges (if they are bad, that is), or at the very least not onto television. That one husky guy was clearly challenged, and the judges were actually really nice to him, but he should not have been potentially humiliated on TV like that.
On another note, people get confused that this is a "singing competition," and that the judges shouldn't comment about appearance. Wrong. This is a pop-star competition, where the total package matters far more than the sum of the parts. The judges are there for a reason: Randy (a record producer) is there to judge vocal potential. Paula (a pop star) is there to judge heart or determination, and Simon (a financial backer) is there to judge the package - vocals, appearance, attitude, everything. His job IS to say if someone is a giraffe or an elephant or whatever, because the public will say far worse on their own. If these people showed up to a recording company, they would be told worse, and be laughed out.
Finally, the judges are not any harsher this season. In fact, I think they are nicer than ever. The only thing that has changed from season 1 is the people auditioning: they seek fame, their desperation is evident, and they are willing to do ANYTHING to get it. Season one just featured people who truly thought they could make it on their voice (remember, people didn't really know what they were auditioning for season one). As the show got more popular, it attracted the freak shows.
One last thing (I know I said finally already but this is worth saying) - people love this stuff. let's be real. this show is getting close to 40 million people watching per episode. We like to see other people suffer and think "Thank God that's not me!" That's what the audition rounds are for. This show is basically two back-to-back series: first is the karaoke-disaster parade of freaks, and then the actual talent portion of the show begins in the finals. If people didn't want to see the cruelty, they would simply tune out until finals (which I have done in the past). They aren't missing much, since we really only see like 5 people who go to Hollywood per episode, and most of them won't be making the top 12 anyway.
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1-29-2007 @ 2:53PM
Boomfoxx said...
BlackViking and Jordy. I do agree that appearance should matter because it is a pop star competition, but the main focus in on the singing and if someone's already not going to the next round because their singing sucks there's no reason to tack on the fact their their ugly.
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1-29-2007 @ 4:07PM
Courtney said...
I agree with most of you guys that the people who are auditioning know what they're getting into and that the first few episodes are mostly for ratings. What really bothers me is the fact that the singers have to go through several rounds (I'm not sure how many) before they even get to be in front of Simon, Paula, and Randy. So there are other people/judges that are letting these bad singers through to the next rounds knowing that they are horrible and that they will make good tv. No wonder these poor people are surprised when Randy, Paula, and Simon tell them their bad- they've alreay made it through a few rounds. I really don't even watch until the finals and just skip the first episodes because they are just a ratings gimmick.
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1-29-2007 @ 2:27PM
Vince said...
Jay Black,
Excellent post! I am glad your Dad destroyed your baseball career and you found your true talent.
If you can't be an athlete be an athletic supporter!
Simon rules, Paula drools!
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2-03-2007 @ 8:07PM
JoeT said...
Right On!!! We're growing a bunch of wimps in the USA right now. Our schools are the main reason but so are the liberal parents who won't teach the kids any logic or let them learn what the real world is all about. I don't watch much TV but I never miss American Idol. I, as do many others, believe Simon is the only and real reason this show makes it until the real talent starts showing up about mid season or later.
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1-29-2007 @ 4:34PM
Big Dave said...
Amen Brother
And to people who are offended by the "Bush Baby" remark, google away and see just how "cute" they are.
Awwwwwwwww http://www.tourzambia.com/images/new_images/bush-baby.jpg
Awwwwwwwww, who's a cutie....
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1-29-2007 @ 7:56PM
malren said...
While I agree that the first two categories should be mocked, Jay, the fact that you, and apparently the sycophants in the comments, think it's ever acceptable to humiliate and mock someone who has no ability to understand what is happening to them truly saddens me.
If it was your mentally disabled family member who was able to function in the world (perhaps barely) and was talked into being humiliated by Idol (say, by bully co-workers or some other jerk family member), I doubt you'd be so flippant about it.
Or maybe you would and that's just the kind of person you are.
I saw at least three contestants that were absolutely mentally impaired on this season's auditions. One of them was confirmed the very next day (the bushy-bearded red haired guy) There were likely more. It says a lot about a person that they would not only revel in that kind of humiliation and abuse, but that they would champion it.
I don't even knwo why I'm wasting my time treating this like something you will care at all about, Jay, but I hope you really think about what I've said. Imagine it was your kid. your sister. your mom. Imagine that they are functional enough to live in a group home, but literally not smart or developed enough to know when someone is playing a trick on them. You may not know this, but the vast majority of mentally challenged people I have ever known are amazingly trusting. It's one of the characteristics that most stands out - they trust you immediately and implicitly.
You're advocating that we abuse that trust for some funny clips on a singing show. Nice. Real nice.
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1-30-2007 @ 4:20PM
Brian said...
Worst...Blog...Ever. Maybe your dad should pull you aside now and explain how in addition to baseball your blogging skills are also lacking. Have you considered being a telemarketer?
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